Temporary insanity

The Depo shots have evened me out quite a bit, it seems. I do still have a couple of days at the end of the month that get rough, however - when the normal menstrual cycle would start. Today is April 29th. I'm at the point that a little voice inside my head is screaming "shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up!!!!" almost every time somebody says something.

Mom may get out of the hospital on Monday. They think they've got the diagnosis right, finally - pyoderma gangrenosum. It took a week & a half to rule everything else out, basically.

I try to ignore dad when he mutters "nigger blah blah blah" when Barack Obama is on television. I've not heard him say it in front of the kids again, so that's some progress.

I'm currently in the strange position of taking care of my parents - but I don't know if they need me to step in and take over, and take care of them, and I'm pretty sure they're not at the place where they WANT me to step in and take over. Part of me says I should just go ahead and move out, but then I'd be driving over all the time anyway... although there's that voice in my head that asks why drive over all the time? Either they're able to take care of themselves or they aren't...

I'm going to play rummy cubes and ignore the world for a little while. (I found a mac rummy cubes game! woohoo!) Hope all of you are doing well. Go have a cup of tea.

News from Iraq

While listening to the news from the war in Iraq today, I wished momentarily that I was still friends with somebody from my high school drama group so I could call them up and say "Good fences make good neighbors!" and have them reply "Good neighbors make good fences!"

You had to be there.

This says it much better than I do

I had started this huge long post about grief vultures and how people will watch nonstop news coverage of something like the shootings at Virginia Tech and had started to collect other disasters that don't get this kind of attention (Darfur, tsunamis, Somalia, Ethiopia, Congo, etc.) and then found this at ThinkProgress:

University of Michigan Professor Juan Cole pointed out last night on PBS’s Newshour:

Remember that we’re all concerned, as we should be, about these events at Virginia Tech today. In Iraq this is a daily event. Imagine how horrible it would be if this kind of massacre were occurring every single day. And the people of Iraq feel that either the Americans are not stopping it or they’re actually causing it.

******EDIT*******

And then I found one of the comics I read has created a visual! Here ya go:

This is what I live with.

So the little boy & I sit down at the table to have breakfast. Dad has already finished eating and is reading the newspaper.

Dad says, somewhat to himself, "What a burden on the taxpayers..."
I say "You know, it's funny - I'll look at government programs that cost $85 million, and think DAMN that's a lot of money... and then I remember that they spend more than that on one plane."
Dad - "huh?" (yes, he has his hearing aid in)
I say "They spend more than 85 million dollars on ONE PLANE."

There is quiet for a bit while C & I eat.

Dad then says "You know, these programs trying to get rid of poverty... the Lord says we'll always have the poor with us."
I say "Yeah, but that's no reason not to try."

After a pause, I ask "Is that something Jesus said? I mean, in a red-letter bible, would that be in red text? Or is it just somewhere in the Bible?"
Dad replies "I'm not sure, it's somewhere in the Bible... there's a lot in the Bible."
I say "Yeah, it says you should stone people in the Bible, so forgive me for not going by it."

There is quiet for another little bit.

Dad then says "I forget where it says something about when women start dressing like men... maybe Revelations..." (Where the hell did this come from? I happen to be wearing a dress...)
I say "Yeah, and it also says that when a woman is menstruating she can't live with her family and has to go somewhere else because she's unclean."

(I was honestly hoping he was going to say something else about what teh Bible says, so I could reply with the point that the Bible says not to eat pork, either, and I'd not seen dad turning down the bacon lately.)

There is quiet again temporarily. Then dad says "You know what makes me angry? These addicts, these drunks, that lose their families, their jobs, their homes, and then expect the taxpayer to feed them and clothe them."
I say "Well, if we would get over ourselves and start treating it like the illness it is rather than a character flaw, there would probably be a lot less homeless people." (I have to repeat that for him.)
Dad - "You think it's an illness??! Pfft." (waves his hand dismissively, then proceeds to tell me a story of one of the guys he was in the army with who would repeatedly go get STINKING drunk, and dad would cart him back to the tent, and the guy would say "Boy, I wish I could be like you and stop drinking when it felt good!" And dad replied "You CAN!")
I say "Okay, given the choice between an addict or drunk continuing to drink, losing their job, their family, their house, and becoming homeless - and giving a person help so they stay productive members of society, which would you choose?"
Dad replies "Well, if helping them would DO anything..."
I say "well, that's the problem - we're not trying. It's like mental illness. I'm a mentally ill person. Is it an illness, or a character flaw? How do we treat it?"
Dad says "Mentally ill people should be in institutions where they can get treatment."
I stand up with my empty plate and say "Thanks, you can sign me up for one when you get around to it!" and take it to the kitchen, then on my way back past the table push my chair in. (Yes, I'm angry.)
Dad says "That's the problem with you! You fly off the handle! You've got this fiery temper!"
I interrupt him to say "Where do you think I got THAT from?"
He continues "You can't talk to you about anything!"
I get in his face and say, with quieter controlled anger, "Dad - I just told you I am a mentally ill person. You reply with 'mentally ill people should be put in institutions.' What am I supposed to take away from that??"
He makes a dismissive gesture with his hands and says "Oh, you're not mentally ill."


This is when I lose it.

I start shouting at him. "Oh, sure. Two suicide attempts and everything else, but I'm not mentally ill, I should just get over it, right? It's just a character flaw!"

J calms me down and talks to me after I storm out of the room with Dad. I told J that what I should have said when Dad said that you can't talk to me is "well, if the things you said weren't stupid, bigoted and uninformed, I would be able to talk!" He laughed and agreed. He said that I should tell dad that the plane my brother-in-law is on in the Air Force costs $100,000 to run for (I think) 12 hours - that's just the cost in fuel. damn.

The more time I spend with my father, the less I like him. Misogynistic, bigoted old fart. Love him, but don't like him.

If anybody would like to make my husband an incredible-I-can't-refuse job offer somewhere out of state, I'd like an excuse to move away...

OOOOOOOOOOOO

I am seriously, SERIOUSLY thinking of springing for one of these.



My birthday is coming up in a few months, anybody feel like giving me a present?

Book Club Meeting

Not that there's a book club or anything, but have any of you read Imperial Hubris - Why The West Is Losing The War On Terror?

I'm currently on page 75. Anybody want to pick it up and read along with me so as to discuss it?

How's life with y'all?

I feel like I've not posted in forever. I've been busy doing other things - laundry, taking kids to gymnastics, grocery shopping, running errands for everybody... typical stay-at-home mom stuff.

I've also been kind of busy reading the news...

Iran has released the British servicemen/women. That's good. I'm hoping that the retired FBI agent who disappeared from an island belonging to Iran doesn't become a casus belli. Haven't heard a whole lot about the U.S. Attorney kerfuffle in the last few days. McCain took a trip to Iraq and went shopping. Bush is trying to get into a pissing fight with congress about the Iraq supplemental bill - first about going on vacation - and then leaves for the ranch himself. And about how many days it's taking them to pass the bill. Why isn't Feingold running for president? Let's draft him rather than Al Gore. Why is Cheney lurking in the bushes? That sounded like an odd metaphor. The Supreme Court ruled that the EPA has it in its power to regulate emissions that cause global warming. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Inhofe. We're supporting guerrilla raids into Iran (which surprises me none). The FBI has been spying on us all (which also surprises me none), even war protesters. Josh Wolf got out of jail finally. David Hicks is going to jail... for 9 months... and Cheney might have had something to do with it?


The list is enormous and there's no way I can even list them all. I have to say, though, I LOVE these: George W. Bush Scandals & Fuckups Collectors Plate Series.

I'm going to go play with my son.

Yo Todd, got this shirt yet?