If I ever work in a cubicle again

I'm SO making one of these.

Right now, my office actually has a window. Go figure - In all my working life, I've only once before had an office with a window.

I love Boing Boing for many reasons

Here is one:

Food company's annual report needs to be baked before reading

How cool is that?

Is it Friday yet?

About a month ago I started two new jobs. I'm a part-time secretary for the school M goes to, and I'm tutoring three girls in 6th grade math. I also took my first paid gig as a face painter for a kid's birthday party, and made the cake as well. (It was a pirate ship, complete with sails, water & a shark.)

As soon as I pay off some old debts, I think the first thing I might put my paycheck towards is one of these. I have to have some help keeping track of my schedule. Between stuff for the kids, doctor appointments for my father & aunt, work, tutoring, and everything else, I either need something like this or a personal secretary.

Yes, I'm still alive

This is a great idea.


Nothing more to add.

When you lay it out like that...

Thanks to Senate 2008 Guru, here's a run-down of Republican corruption scandals JUST SINCE JANUARY 2007. It's a bit mind-boggling.

January 23, 2007: Republican radio personality Scott Eller Cortelyou of Denver arrested on suspicion of using the Internet to lure a child into a sexual relationship

January 29, 2007: Republican former Jefferson County, Colorado, Treasurer Mark Paschall indicted on two felony charges "in connection with an allegation that Paschall solicited a kickback from a bonus he awarded one of his employees"

January 31, 2007: Republican Congressman Gary Miller is named by Republicans as ranking member of oversight subcommittee of House Financial Services Committee despite the FBI's investigation into his land deals

February 14, 2007: Major Republican fundraiser Brent Wilkes and former CIA executive director Kyle "Dusty" Foggo are indicted by a grandy jury for corrupting CIA contracts

February 16, 2007: Major Republican donor Abdul Tawala Ibn Ali Alishtari, aka Michael Mixon, is indicted in federal court on charges of providing material support to terrorists

March 5, 2007: Ethics complaint filed against Republican Senator Pete Domenici for his role in the Attorney Purge scandal

March 6, 2007: I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, former chief of staff to Vice President Dick Cheney found guilty of obstruction of justice and perjury

March 8, 2007: Republican former U.S. Congressman and Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich admits to extramarital affair

March 23, 2007: Former Deputy Interior Secretary J. Steven Griles, an oil and gas lobbyist who became an architect of George W. Bush's energy policies, pleads guilty to obstructing justice by lying to a Senate committee

March 27, 2007: Criminal charges filed against Republican Pennsylvania State Senator Robert Regola in connection with the death of a teenage neighbor who was shot with the senator's gun; he is accused of three counts of perjury, allowing possession of a firearm by a minor, recklessly endangering another person and false swearing

March 27, 2007: Ronald Reagan's budget director, David Stockman, "indicted on charges of defrauding investors and banks of $1.6 billion while chairman of Collins & Aikman Corp., an auto parts maker that collapsed days after he quit"

March 28, 2007: Robert Vellanoweth, a Republican activist and appointee of Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, is arrested on suspicion of gross vehicular manslaughter and felony driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol, after a crash that killed three adults and one child

April 18, 2007: The FBI raids the home of Republican Congressman John Doolittle, investigating his ties to Jack Abramoff

April 19, 2007: The FBI raids a business tied to the family of Republican Congressman Rick Renzi, as part of an investigation into his business dealings

April 23, 2007: The FBI questions Republican Congressman Tom Feeney about his dealings with Jack Abramoff

April 23, 2007: Federal auditors find repeat violations of federal election law from the 2004 Senate campaign of Republican Senator Mel Martinez

April 26, 2007: David Huckabee, son of Republican Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee, is arrested at an Arkansas airport after a federal X-ray technician detected a loaded gun in his carry-on luggage

May 4, 2007: Bruce Weyhrauch and Pete Kott, former Alaska state Republican legislators, were arrested and accused of soliciting and accepting bribes from the corrupt VECO Corporation

May 4, 2007: Republican state Assemblyman Michael Cole is censured and stripped of his leadership position after the married father of two spent the night at a 21-year-old intern's apartment

May 11, 2007: A field coordinator for Republican Congressman Patrick McHenry is indicted for voter fraud in North Carolina

May 12, 2007: NBC News breaks the story that the FBI is investigating Republican Nevada Governor Jim Gibbons for suspicion of accepting bribes in exchange for securing government contracts

May 15, 2007: Connecticut Republican Party Chairman Chris Healy is arrested for drunk driving (he pled no contest on June 1, but didn't publicly disclose the event until June 11)

May 18, 2007: Republican former South Dakota State Representative Ted Klaudt is charged with eight counts of second-degree rape, two counts of sexual exploitation of a minor, one count of sexual contact with a child younger than 16, two counts of witness tampering and one count of stalking against two foster children in his care

May 21, 2007: Republican state Senate candidate Mark Tate is indicted on nine counts of perjury and two counts of election fraud by a grand jury

June 11, 2007: Republican Senator Larry Craig is arrested for lewd conduct in the men's bathroom of an airport

June 19, 2007: South Carolina Republican state Treasurer and South Carolina Chairman of Giuliani for President Thomas Ravenel is indicted by a grand jury on cocaine distribution charges

July 2, 2007: President George W. Bush commutes the sentence of former Cheney Chief of Staff I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby following Libby's conviction on obstruction of justice and perjury

July 3, 2007: A grand jury report declares that the sale of public land to Republican Congressman Ken Calvert and his business partners violated the law

July 11, 2007: Republican state Representative and Florida co-Chairman of McCain for President Bob Allen is arrested for soliciting a male undercover police officer, offering to pay $20 to perform oral sex

July 16, 2007: Republican Senator David Vitter holds press conference acknowledging being on the D.C. Madam's list and past involvement with prostitutes

July 16, 2007: Story breaks that Republican Senator Lisa Murkowski was involved in a sweetheart real estate deal

July 19: Republican former state legislator Coy Privette is charged with six counts of aiding and abetting prostitution

July 24, 2007: Michael Flory, former head of the Michigan Federation of Young Republicans, pleads guilty to sexual abuse

July 26, 2007: Media report that Republican Senator Lisa Murkowski will sell back land purchased in a sweetheart deal, following close scrutiny of the shady transaction

July 29, 2007: Glenn Murphy Jr., recently-elected Chairman of the Young Republican National Federation, is accused of sexually assaulting a sleeping man

July 30, 2007: The FBI and IRS raid the home of Republican Senator Ted Stevens following investigations into Stevens' dealings with the corrupt VECO Corporation

August 2, 2007: Bush administration senior adviser Karl Rove disregards a Congressional subpoena and refuses to testify before the Senate Judiciary Committee

August 6, 2007: Investigation called for after House Republican Leader John Boehner leaked classified information regarding a secret court ruling over warrantless wiretapping

August 8, 2007: Republican Senator Larry Craig pleads guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct following his June 11 arrest

August 9, 2007: Major Republican donor Alan Fabian is charged with 23 counts of bankruptcy fraud, mail fraud, money laundering, obstruction of justice, and perjury

August 15, 2007: Republican state House candidate Angelo Cappelli is arrested for perjury and grand theft

August 22, 2007: Republican political consultant Roger Stone resigns his role with the New York state Senate Republicans after reports surfaced that he made a "threatening, obscenity-laced" phone call to the 83-year-old father of Governor Eliot Spitzer

August 27, 2007: Story breaks that Republican Senator Larry Craig was arrested and pled guilty - he had not publicly disclosed the events to that point

Has anybody seen a Democratic equivalent? I'd be curious to do a comparison...

The beat goes on

Whistleblowers about corruption in Iraq get thrown into jail and interrogated - BY U.S. FORCES.  

Gonzales is finally gone. I'd throw a party, but I want the bastard prosecuted - and I'm afraid of who Bush is going to put in his place.

I knew corruption in Iraq was bad, but this is enough to make you vomit.

I spent the evening in front of the old capitol with an end-the-war rally.  The response from the cars driving by was amazing - there is definitely a majority of people (at least a majority of the ones that drove by us) that want the war to end now.  I've never heard so much honking in my life.  I wonder, though, about the few who flicked us off.  Most of them were young men - made me want to point out to them that if there's a draft, they'll be first on the chopping block - will they then be so gung-ho?

J sent me to Good Reads.  It's similar to other things online, but looks like it might be fun.  Drop by.

Remember the Milk looks like it could be really useful - I'll have to see how well it fits into my life.

I... I have no words...

I've joked about something like this for years now - you know, the "Just wait! Some horrible something will happen and Bush will claim it's not safe to hold an election, etc. etc.... ha ha!"

To see it proposed as a serious idea makes me physically ill.

However, President Bush has a valuable historical example that he could choose to follow.
When the ancient Roman general Julius Caesar was struggling to conquer ancient Gaul, he not only had to defeat the Gauls, but he also had to defeat his political enemies in Rome who would destroy him the moment his tenure as consul (president) ended.
Caesar pacified Gaul by mass slaughter; he then used his successful army to crush all political opposition at home and establish himself as permanent ruler of ancient Rome. This brilliant action not only ended the personal threat to Caesar, but ended the civil chaos that was threatening anarchy in ancient Rome – thus marking the start of the ancient Roman Empire that gave peace and prosperity to the known world.
If President Bush copied Julius Caesar by ordering his army to empty Iraq of Arabs and repopulate the country with Americans, he would achieve immediate results: popularity with his military; enrichment of America by converting an Arabian Iraq into an American Iraq (therefore turning it from a liability to an asset); and boost American prestiege while terrifying American enemies.
He could then follow Caesar’s example and use his newfound popularity with the military to wield military power to become the first permanent president of America, and end the civil chaos caused by the continually squabbling Congress and the out-of-control Supreme Court.

Entire article entitled Conquering the Drawbacks of Democracy.

Just a bit of stuff you might enjoy

And stuff to (hopefully) make you think...

How to Achieve Career Happiness by Being Gay on the Inside



Do We Need Another Jungle? - has some great fair trade links, among other things

Here's a book I'd like to read sometime soon...

Here's a GREAT blog entry from a stay-at-home dad - something I hope J can do soon...

This reminds me of some of the frustrations I feel: Oh, but it’s atheists who can’t have morals

I'm tempted to read this to find out what they'll arrest me for that is unconstitutional so I can go find some public event involving the president to attend... I could use $80K!

Tis almost the ides of August

J & I had a lovely dinner at the Melting Pot last night for our birthdays, courtesy of my mom.

I woke up this morning to a note left on our door in probably 92pt font: ROVE QUIT. I think I'll consider that a birthday present. Now if they'll just get him to testify!

So I get online and jump on some of the political blogs to see the details, and while I'm reading various and sundry articles, I see a link to an article in The Observer (a UK paper) "Fatigue cripples US army in Iraq" and after reading it, I think to myself WOW, that's pretty blunt - gee, I wonder if any US news organizations are reporting on this?

Can't find much. Found an article in the magazine The American Conservative talking about how Bush has broken the military - but all the rest of the articles I've found are elsewhere. For example:
"For an exhausted, disenchanted army there is still no end in sight" - The Independent (UK)
"Army Chief calls for return of draft to ease fatigue" - New Zealand Herald


Well, here's one from the US - but you note the article's title doesn't mention exhaustion:
"Military Is Ill-Prepared For Other Conflicts" - Washington Post
I'm guessing that the title is meant to point out, AHEM, that BOMBING IRAN IS STUPID. (Cheney has evidently been walking around chanting "bomb Iran" - given the amount of oil that China buys from Iran, wouldn't that bring China into a fight? Or is that what he wants, a proxy war with China?) After reading the article, I'm thinking maybe the title understates the problem.


So in looking for US articles about our exhausted military (you get slightly better results if you look for "broken" military, since several high ranking US people have used those words) I notice that our War Czar has basically called for the draft to be reinstated. I'm surprised I've not heard the administration backpedaling furiously.

In other news - watch out, the market is looking scarier and scarier. I'd like to point out that I saw this coming 6 months ago. Here's a quote:

Bottom line: there are a ton of problems in the credit market that aren't going away anytime soon. The main reason for that comment comes from Countrywide Financial's report on Thursday. Countrywide is the largest mortgage lender by volume. That means they have a ton of stature and clout in the market. The problem is simple: they can't find liquidity for their mortgages right now. They had to place $1.8 billion of loans into their investment portfolio and devalue both investments by between 14% and 20% when the transferred those assets. The devaluation tells me that buyers are pretty scared about the whole mortgage mess right now.

Add to this the news that BNP stopped withdrawals from some of its funds, a Goldman Sachs fund lost over 20% since the beginning of the year, Washington Mutual agreeing with Countrywide's assessment of the credit markets, and the central banks pumping liquidity into the market, and you have a recipe for increased volatility and concern.

And in case you thought that wasn't enough:

But, he adds, the full weight of resets on adjustable-rate mortgages have yet to been felt. From the beginning of 2007 through the middle of 2008, over $1 trillion ARMs will reset, many from low "teaser" rates. Then the extent of the declines in home prices and the financial fallout will be apparent, Magnus observes.

The news has continued to come out in a very negative vein. And it's the big players who are making the announcements. That is all the more concerning. When the mortgage mess first started in last 2006/early 2007 it was the smaller players making the announcements. While this was disconcerting, it wasn't earth shattering. Now the big boys are saying, "boy is it rough out there". That should concern everybody.

There's just too much to comment on. I've got the bad news fatigue that seems to be hitting almost everybody. US military lost over 100,000 weapons in Iraq? Whatever. Our people are probably getting killed by our own weapons. Gotta love it. FEMA tries to hide the toxic outgassing of its emergency trailers that is making people sick? No surprise. Bush now talking about creating tax cuts for corporations? Sure, why not.

I think I'd better stop reading the news today. You'd think news of Rove resigning would make me happy... *sigh*

Today was great!

Well, yesterday, at this point, I guess.

Got up early, got to chat with J before the kids were up. Took my meds eeeeaaaarrrrly. Made breakfast for me, the kids, and dad. Went outside with the kids & scrubbed two chairs, a booster seat and a trashcan - getting soaked in the process, and creating much mud for the two munchkins to play in. While they played in the mud, I trimmed the bushes along the front right of the house (that haven't been trimmed in probably years at this point) and the pyrecantha bush (that is not a bush, the damn thing's a tree - it's taller than the house at this point! I told J later "I wonder how many of the bushes in our world are just oppressed trees? I can just see them saying "well, I'd be taller if you'd just STOP CHOPPING MY TOP OFF!"" Got a great laugh out of that. Anyway, got those bushes done, chopped down some unruly growth in the front of the yard, and managed to find 5 or 6 fire ants that hadn't died off yet from me putting fire ant killer on their mounds yesterday. They got my feet. Then managed to find a few more that must have dropped onto me from somewhere else - got a couple of bites on my neck & back; should be entertaining. Then brought the kids in, we watched a short movie, read some books and took a nap. Then got up, picked up Dad from his art class (yay, he went! Even if briefly, and without art supplies! I'm under orders to bring him back and bring his supplies next time.), went by the grocery store, came home & unloaded the dishwasher, made a fruit salad, made dinner (meatloaf, baked potatoes & spinach), fed everybody, took kids into bedroom, read books, put kids to sleep, and spent some quality time with my husband.

And was in a good mood pretty much all day. Sang, hummed or whistled all thru making dinner. The latest news about Westboro Baptist church heading up to the funerals of the bridge collapse couldn't even break me. And even hearing about some ex-friends of ours didn't hijack my brain the way it sometimes does! Of course, that might be because of WHAT I heard, hee - ran into somebody who knows them now, and said "Oh, yeah, I know them. She's a CUNT. Total bitch, you know? And HUGE, too, man!" I know I shouldn't find that as amusing as I do, but damn, it makes me laugh every time I think about it. Considering the BS she put me through, I have a hard time being a nice person about her. I mean, if I found out her house burnt down, I'd probably laugh. Isn't that awful?

Anyway, I'm going to go listen to some political commentary and cuddle with my babu. I just wanted to write this day down so in a few months I can look back and try to figure out what went right today, so as to do it again. :)

A comic worth reading

If you've never read xkcd, you should. It's frequently very amusing, especially for geeks. Part of the funny is always the image tag, I guess it is - the text that pops up when you rest your mouse on the picture.

So Todd, go take a look at the text for this one.

What an AWESOME little application

Any of y'all out there heard of "Monolingual"? Because my friend Patrick is the shiznit, it was already on my computer - I clicked on it a few minutes ago to see what the heck it was.

It deletes all the language files for programs that you don't need. (I really am not going to used simplified chinese, no matter what the program, thanks)

I HAVE ALREADY REGAINED MORE THAN A GIG OF HARD DRIVE SPACE AND IT'S STILL RUNNING.

Sweet. If I tried to do this by hand, I'd be here until Christmas. I should find whoever wrote this little gem and send them cookies. (And Patrick, too, for putting it on my computer. Thanks, Patrick!!)

I'm back!

Through the efforts of my husband and our friend Patrick, I am computered once again. The kids spilled a coke on my laptop, and I'd pretty much resigned myself to not being online a whole lot for 6 or more months - we can't exactly afford a laptop right now. However, because my babu is an amazing sweetheart, he arranged to trade work for a laptop for me! I am now the proud owner of a 1.5GHz PowerPC G4! With the light-up keyboard, oooooooo. Sure as heck faster then my old iBook... with a bigger screen... and a hard drive twice as large... yes, I'm aware I'm both spoiled rotten and lucky as hell. In husbands, I mean. Among other things.

I'm awake at 7 something this morning because M was sleeping with me and she wet the bed. Nothing like waking up in a pee puddle that's not your own. *sigh* I'm hoping she doesn't have the same trouble with bedwetting that I had as a kid - we'll see.

It's been a rough month. Great Aunt Mary died - she was our favorite. We took a whirlwind trip up to Tennessee to check on Mamaw & Papaw (her younger brother), to make sure they were doing okay - Aunt Mary's son was returning from Iraq to take care of things and he's always been a little nutty anyway, so we wanted to be on hand just in case. They were doing fine - aside from Mamaw having congestive heart failure, a leaky valve, and a hole in her heart, of course. It was frightening to see how weak she is. During this time Mamaw's brother in California had a stroke, and is not doing well - I've not heard any more about him yet.

Before we left to go up there, an old family friend of 15 or so years, Tom, had taken ill and they'd discovered tumors in his liver. He & his wife went up to Boston & stayed with his brother while being seen in a hospital that specialized in difficult cancer cases. It turns out that it was originally colon cancer, and because he didn't go to doctors and had never had a colonoscopy, it hadn't been caught until it had metastasized and taken over 90% of his liver... he died yesterday morning. Another 3 days and it would have been his 66th birthday. I still can't wrap my head around it... every time I think of his wife I get weepy; she was my 2nd grade teacher and we've been friends with her pretty much since then. They were such a pair - thinking of one without the other is like peanut butter without jelly or something. It's just off. It occasionally leads me to think about what would happen if something suddenly happened to J - which of course makes me fall apart totally. He's promised, by the way, to always get colonoscopies -- LET THIS BE A LESSON TO ALL OF YOU. The prep for a colonoscopy is shitty - pun intended - but the test itself is not a big deal. You're either sedated or knocked out; it's just pooping all day the day before that's not much fun. However, I think dying in four weeks is much worse, don't you?

In the middle of all this, the little boy turned three. We're having his party on Saturday - drop by Winthrop around noon for cake! I'm making a peaches & cream cake, and you know it's gonna be delicious.

I think that's all the news for July. Bill, I've not had time to read, so I'm way behind. I'm hoping to finish it in the next week before the copy of Harry Potter that a friend bought for me shows up in the mail. (Did I say I was spoiled? Wheeee!)

It's 11am and I'm going back to bed

It's days like this that the old idea of becoming a hermit-lady with a zillion cats starts sounding good.

I'm not sure what to do with this

Perhaps Bernard Goldberg put it best, while chatting on Fox News with Michelle Malkin:

“We go to the American people and we ask them if they can pick out Kansas on a map and they can’t. We ask them if they can pick out England on a map and they can’t. We ask them who the Vice-president is, they don’t have any idea. Who’s the Secretary of State? “I don’t know.” Then we go to them and ask them what they think of the Lewis Libby commutation? I don’t care what the American people have to say about these things.”

I'll admit I've railed against the general un-informedness of the American population before, and have made fun of idiots near and far. However, hearing someone say that because Americans are generally uninformed on some things that the government shouldn't listen to them - it makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. There's a difference between general knowledge and ethics - even a person who can't quote Shakespeare can tell you if something is right or wrong.

That said, I agree with what someone in the comments said:

To Goldberg:
How about this, then — you can ignore the idiots, but if we pass the general knowledge section of the poll, you must follow our opinions. Fair enough?

Because I guarantee you, most of us liberals can indeed find Kansas, England, and even countries where they have mostly (gasp!) brown people(!) on a map. We can also name the VP and the Secretary of State, AND tell you what stupid, unethical, and/or illegal things they’ve done lately.

Politics lately makes me tired. I wonder if the Founding Fathers had days where they thought about telling everybody to f*$& off and finding their own island to move to...

Um.....

After last night's dreams, watching Steve from Blue's Clues with my children is somehow... wrong.

I think I'll go take a shower.

About Scooter Libby

Two things:

Some very good answers for people who aren't clear on what happened:

Bogus Spin #1: Special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald went after Libby even after learning that Richard Armitage had been Bob Novak's "primary source" for his column outing Valerie Plame Wilson as a CIA employee.

Wrong. Armitage made his admission in early October 2003, nearly three months before Fitzgerald was appointed. So it should be clear that Fitzgerald wasn't appointed just to find out who leaked to Novak. In fact, this means that -- even with Armitage's confession in hand -- there was so much evidence of wrongdoing that a longtime GOP loyalist like John Ashcroft felt he had no choice but to recuse himself and allow the appointment of a special counsel.

Bogus Spin #2: Even so, Libby wasn't the only one who leaked about Plame.

Maybe not, but it turns out that every other Bush administration who leaked did so with information they got as a result of Libby's actions. Ari Fleischer testified during Scooter's trial that Libby told him over lunch about Plame working for the CIA, and Karl Rove reportedly told a similar story to the grand jury that indicted Libby. Meanwhile, Armitage and Bushite press flack Dan Bartlett both found out through a State Department memo that was produced in response to questions that Libby had asked a top department official about Wilson's trip to Niger. If Libby (and his boss, Dick Cheney) had been content to reply to Wilson's criticisms on their merits rather than by rattling cages in search of fodder for personal attacks, none of the other officials would ever have been able to leak about Plame.

Bogus Spin #3: The trial was just Libby's word against that of a bunch of reporters.

Although three reporters did testify, they were preceded on the stand by six different government officials who each testified to having conversations with Libby about Joe Wilson's wife before the date when Libby first claimed to have heard it from a reporter. It was these officials' testimony, more than that of the reporters, that convicted Libby.

Bogus Spin #4: Libby was convicted for having a faulty memory.

It's never mentioned in the mainstream media, but Scooter didn't just "forget" telling reporters about Joe Wilson's wife working for the CIA, and deny it when he really had told them.

No, Libby's "faulty memory" caused him not only to deny where he had learned about Plame -- a note produced in the trial showed Vice President Cheney had told him she worked in the Counterproliferation Department of the CIA (where the majority of employees are covert) -- but to invent stories saying he HAD leaked to reporters when he hadn't. He claimed to have been the first to tell Matt Cooper about Wilson's wife, thereby covering up the fact that Karl Rove had done so. And he shielded Fleischer by falsely claiming to have told the Post's Glenn Kessler as well, apparently trying to cover for the Post's October 12, 2003 report that a journalist for the Post (who turned out to be Walter Pincus) had been leaked to -- a news story that was found, with key passages underlined, in Libby's files.

Thus Libby was convicted not just of perjury but of intentionally lying in order to obstruct the investigation. And what George Bush did yesterday was intended to make sure he got away with it.

and a great example of Bush's inconsistencies. Or hypocrisies. Or both.

What's excessive? President Bush, who suddenly hates excessive punishments, once refused to commute the death sentence of a 33-year-old mentally retarded black man with an IQ of around 60 and the functional skills of a 7-year-old boy.

10 years ago last May, President Bush and Alberto Gonzales received a request for clemency on the day Terry Washington was to be executed for killing a college student in 1987. President Bush skimmed Gonzales' incomplete summary and denied clemency.

Terry Washington was dead before the sun went down.

Regarding the record 152 executions during his two terms as governor, Bush "wrote" in his autobiography, A Charge To Keep, "I don't believe my role is to replace the verdict of a jury with my own."

A good quote

Robert Kennedy once said,

Few will have the greatness to bend history itself; but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation ... It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is thus shaped. Each time a man [or woman] stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, [s/]he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.

Can't find my journal, so this goes here

Sorry, I know a person's dreams aren't interesting to anybody but themselves. Feel free to skip this; it's just me recording it so later when the psychiatrists try to figure out where I went wrong they'll have clues.


I think ingesting moldy flour helped - I don't remember dreaming this much in forever.

First dream, was visiting Bill & his wife in Seattle. Except his wife was Erin, my friend Matthew's wife. (Probably because I've never met Bill's real wife.) He was running a D&D game for us. During the conversation he told us about her new hobby - buying distressed houses and turning then around. One of the things she was doing was creating murals on the walls, at which point I exclaimed something like "Oh, I HOPE you've got pictures!" I then go to use the restroom (which ends up being a potty chair in the middle of the living room floor where their 2 nephews & niece are playing that they're babysitting) and as I'm sitting there everybody's walking toward the front door with car keys - evidently they're going to SHOW me her latest house; very cool. Oddly, mom is there, and keeps saying things like "you don't have to go NOW..." and "are you sure you feel up to it?"

So the end of that dream wakes me up to go pee. (If I'm peeing in a dream, it's a pretty good bet I have to go, isn't that standard?)

Back to sleep - next dream is that I've moved onto a new street with a bunch of really nice duplexes/quattroplexes/condos up and down it. I'm in my place, and I get online and look at Erinn's webpage, to see how she's doing. She's got a lot of pictures and video of the kids & us from when we all lived together (of course, these videos make it look like we lived together this year, as both the kids are relatively old) and I decide to walk down the street and ask her for copies of these (and anything else she's got, as these are pretty good). So I drop in to her place - I don't remember knocking or anything, just walking in. Strangely enough, I don't remember any more of our interaction, other than she was perhaps slightly nervously bubbly and I was quiet but not angry or unhappy - we didn't make up; we just sort of glossed over everything.

Next dream I'm driving into the parking lot of my new apartment (same one? Maybe; it's somewhere further north than I am now) and as mom behind me somewhere yells "be careful!" or something, I distractedly drive right into the 8ft deep or so hole that's there with the construction going on around us. My neighbors good-naturedly drag me & my station wagon out, and I say "You know, it seems I want your company so badly - how about we start a breakfast club rather than me falling into this hole?" (I've evidently done this before.) Several people express interest, and mom & I head up to the apartment. Mom expresses some doubt about a breakfast club, and talks about how it's not polite to make people host get-togethers at their places and making people feel obligated, blah blah blah. I tell her I'm not going to make anybody do anything; I'd just like to invite my neighbors over more! Then I guess there's a knock at the door, and mom goes into her room. Either the kids are already in bed or mom takes over putting them to bed while I answer the door. It's my old neighbor Chris (that I used to have a crush on in high school) and a friend of his, and I invite them in and we sit around and catch up on each others' lives - somehow Chris has gotten hold of a paper I've published that is somewhat objectivist in nature and he tells me I've done a good job. Things get a little flirty, but it's all very quiet and understated - and I'm just being a tease, I'm not really interested. Oddly enough, it seems that Justin hasn't moved with us yet - there's some feeling that he'll be moving up soon, and then I'm planning on letting him stay home with the kids for a while, to give him a break, since I have a good job. Then we head out to join up with Nathan (an ex-fling) and one of his friends, and they're in the front seat driving. Chris can't stand him. We're all talking about all kinds of things - everything from life back in Tallahassee, the hell that was high school, to philosophy, politics, etc. We then pull into a parking space in front of a row of swank townhouses, and Chris makes some comment like "what the hell, do you expect us to walk home?!" Either I or Nathan says no, it's not his car, it's mine, doofus. So Nathan & his buddy get out, and I get in the driver's seat and the rest of us leave.

Old home week inside the skull tonight. Maybe I can get another half hour of sleep.

I've always been partial to Patrick Stewart

For many, many reasons.

Here's another one:







Mad props to Amnesty International who put this together.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (semi-evil laugh)

KARMA'S A BITCH, AIN'T IT?
Woohoo, and I didn't even have to wait for her next life!

Here's a brief explanation: my ex-mother-in-law (the first one; the 2nd one was a sweetie) did me wrong. While I suspect she got rid of my cat, I have no proof of that - however, I DO have proof that she deposited the joint income tax return check - that required both mine and her son's signature - into a bank account in just her son's name. (She attempted to lie about it in the divorce hearing and say she hadn't seen the check - when I said 'oh, that's okay, I've got the IRS running a trace on it to track it down', she quickly changed her tune. THEN she made up all this BS about me owing her money to the judge.) Anyway, I suspect she was in her sheriff's uniform at the time, which may be part of the reason why the bank teller didn't require my signature. (Or the bank teller was just incompetent - wonder if karma has hit that person yet? hrm...)

Anyway, I read the newspaper and VOILA! Guess who just had the Office of Inspector General where she worked (yes, past tense, she resigned "citing stress-related medical reasons and office tensions and said she'd been planning to leave the state for some time to be with her children" ha!) release a report finding her at fault for participating in the hiring process for a person with whom she shared a mutual financial interest (she was part of a committee that chose her boyfriend to fill a grant-funded position for which she was the grant coordinator), using department e-mail improperly, submitting travel reimbursements with false information and providing false information to OIG investigators.

Take that, bitch!

Let this be a warning to all y'all out there who have wronged me - yours is coming. It may take ten years, but it's coming, and when it does, expect massive humiliation.

Apologies are being accepted now - get them in while you can!


Bwahahahahahahahahahaha

Looking for an escape

Wish all my books weren't in storage.

Saw the link to Library Thing from Todd's page, I think, and am trying to enter books from memory that I've not seen in 8 months or more.

Family news update

J's grandmother is NOT having open heart surgery after all - more because of worries about how she'd handle it than because she doesn't need it.

Mom is going to have a couple of lumps looked at - since her sister had breast cancer, I'm assuming she's worried. That might be the source of her behaviour.

Dad still sounds like he's drowning in phlegm; hopefully at his upcoming doctor appointment there will be a suggestion to help reduce the mucous.

Kids are great; crazy as usual. Greatly enjoying swim lessons and getting tan.

J's new-old job is treating him okay so far. Adjustment is always a little stressful, of course.

I'm doing research on hormone imbalances and trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me and how I can fix it.

Everybody else I don't know about. Feel free to let me know.

Turn off the light - Adventure continued

You pull the chain and turn off the light.

It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.



After a few moments, you realize that the white squares of the checkered ceiling glow faintly - all except the one in the far corner, where the black wall and the blue wall meet.


You choose to:

Turn the light back on

Examine the white square that doesn't glow

Sit and wait to be eaten by a grue

Do nothing

Too mentally strung out lately for a real post

So you get this instead.

Doubleplusgood

I can't imagine why I consider myself an educated, cultured person when there is so much classic literature I've not yet read. Definitely ungood.

Well, today I began to rectify that.

Are any of you out there good duckspeakers?

heeheehee

Ever wonder what actually moves your mouse around the computer screen?

Wonder no longer.

I'm glad somebody actually put this together

I've often in conversation said "Geez, think of all the things we could have done with the money that's being pissed away in Iraq..."

Here are some of them.

Add your own - there or here, I'd love to see them.

How fricking cool is this??!!!

Okay, so there is a small conspiracy theorist who lives in my brain who looks for patterns that aren't necessarily there.

But COME ON!! Music encoded in the Chapel at Rosslyn??

As J says, Brown is cackling his ass off and crowing "I just sold more books!"



Here, take a listen: Rosslyn Motet

Irregular Webcomic

Ah, how I wish somebody else I knew read this comic strip as well and could enjoy a laugh with me over four deaths sharing a victim, so to speak.

Temporary insanity

The Depo shots have evened me out quite a bit, it seems. I do still have a couple of days at the end of the month that get rough, however - when the normal menstrual cycle would start. Today is April 29th. I'm at the point that a little voice inside my head is screaming "shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up!!!!" almost every time somebody says something.

Mom may get out of the hospital on Monday. They think they've got the diagnosis right, finally - pyoderma gangrenosum. It took a week & a half to rule everything else out, basically.

I try to ignore dad when he mutters "nigger blah blah blah" when Barack Obama is on television. I've not heard him say it in front of the kids again, so that's some progress.

I'm currently in the strange position of taking care of my parents - but I don't know if they need me to step in and take over, and take care of them, and I'm pretty sure they're not at the place where they WANT me to step in and take over. Part of me says I should just go ahead and move out, but then I'd be driving over all the time anyway... although there's that voice in my head that asks why drive over all the time? Either they're able to take care of themselves or they aren't...

I'm going to play rummy cubes and ignore the world for a little while. (I found a mac rummy cubes game! woohoo!) Hope all of you are doing well. Go have a cup of tea.

News from Iraq

While listening to the news from the war in Iraq today, I wished momentarily that I was still friends with somebody from my high school drama group so I could call them up and say "Good fences make good neighbors!" and have them reply "Good neighbors make good fences!"

You had to be there.

This says it much better than I do

I had started this huge long post about grief vultures and how people will watch nonstop news coverage of something like the shootings at Virginia Tech and had started to collect other disasters that don't get this kind of attention (Darfur, tsunamis, Somalia, Ethiopia, Congo, etc.) and then found this at ThinkProgress:

University of Michigan Professor Juan Cole pointed out last night on PBS’s Newshour:

Remember that we’re all concerned, as we should be, about these events at Virginia Tech today. In Iraq this is a daily event. Imagine how horrible it would be if this kind of massacre were occurring every single day. And the people of Iraq feel that either the Americans are not stopping it or they’re actually causing it.

******EDIT*******

And then I found one of the comics I read has created a visual! Here ya go:

This is what I live with.

So the little boy & I sit down at the table to have breakfast. Dad has already finished eating and is reading the newspaper.

Dad says, somewhat to himself, "What a burden on the taxpayers..."
I say "You know, it's funny - I'll look at government programs that cost $85 million, and think DAMN that's a lot of money... and then I remember that they spend more than that on one plane."
Dad - "huh?" (yes, he has his hearing aid in)
I say "They spend more than 85 million dollars on ONE PLANE."

There is quiet for a bit while C & I eat.

Dad then says "You know, these programs trying to get rid of poverty... the Lord says we'll always have the poor with us."
I say "Yeah, but that's no reason not to try."

After a pause, I ask "Is that something Jesus said? I mean, in a red-letter bible, would that be in red text? Or is it just somewhere in the Bible?"
Dad replies "I'm not sure, it's somewhere in the Bible... there's a lot in the Bible."
I say "Yeah, it says you should stone people in the Bible, so forgive me for not going by it."

There is quiet for another little bit.

Dad then says "I forget where it says something about when women start dressing like men... maybe Revelations..." (Where the hell did this come from? I happen to be wearing a dress...)
I say "Yeah, and it also says that when a woman is menstruating she can't live with her family and has to go somewhere else because she's unclean."

(I was honestly hoping he was going to say something else about what teh Bible says, so I could reply with the point that the Bible says not to eat pork, either, and I'd not seen dad turning down the bacon lately.)

There is quiet again temporarily. Then dad says "You know what makes me angry? These addicts, these drunks, that lose their families, their jobs, their homes, and then expect the taxpayer to feed them and clothe them."
I say "Well, if we would get over ourselves and start treating it like the illness it is rather than a character flaw, there would probably be a lot less homeless people." (I have to repeat that for him.)
Dad - "You think it's an illness??! Pfft." (waves his hand dismissively, then proceeds to tell me a story of one of the guys he was in the army with who would repeatedly go get STINKING drunk, and dad would cart him back to the tent, and the guy would say "Boy, I wish I could be like you and stop drinking when it felt good!" And dad replied "You CAN!")
I say "Okay, given the choice between an addict or drunk continuing to drink, losing their job, their family, their house, and becoming homeless - and giving a person help so they stay productive members of society, which would you choose?"
Dad replies "Well, if helping them would DO anything..."
I say "well, that's the problem - we're not trying. It's like mental illness. I'm a mentally ill person. Is it an illness, or a character flaw? How do we treat it?"
Dad says "Mentally ill people should be in institutions where they can get treatment."
I stand up with my empty plate and say "Thanks, you can sign me up for one when you get around to it!" and take it to the kitchen, then on my way back past the table push my chair in. (Yes, I'm angry.)
Dad says "That's the problem with you! You fly off the handle! You've got this fiery temper!"
I interrupt him to say "Where do you think I got THAT from?"
He continues "You can't talk to you about anything!"
I get in his face and say, with quieter controlled anger, "Dad - I just told you I am a mentally ill person. You reply with 'mentally ill people should be put in institutions.' What am I supposed to take away from that??"
He makes a dismissive gesture with his hands and says "Oh, you're not mentally ill."


This is when I lose it.

I start shouting at him. "Oh, sure. Two suicide attempts and everything else, but I'm not mentally ill, I should just get over it, right? It's just a character flaw!"

J calms me down and talks to me after I storm out of the room with Dad. I told J that what I should have said when Dad said that you can't talk to me is "well, if the things you said weren't stupid, bigoted and uninformed, I would be able to talk!" He laughed and agreed. He said that I should tell dad that the plane my brother-in-law is on in the Air Force costs $100,000 to run for (I think) 12 hours - that's just the cost in fuel. damn.

The more time I spend with my father, the less I like him. Misogynistic, bigoted old fart. Love him, but don't like him.

If anybody would like to make my husband an incredible-I-can't-refuse job offer somewhere out of state, I'd like an excuse to move away...

OOOOOOOOOOOO

I am seriously, SERIOUSLY thinking of springing for one of these.



My birthday is coming up in a few months, anybody feel like giving me a present?

Book Club Meeting

Not that there's a book club or anything, but have any of you read Imperial Hubris - Why The West Is Losing The War On Terror?

I'm currently on page 75. Anybody want to pick it up and read along with me so as to discuss it?

How's life with y'all?

I feel like I've not posted in forever. I've been busy doing other things - laundry, taking kids to gymnastics, grocery shopping, running errands for everybody... typical stay-at-home mom stuff.

I've also been kind of busy reading the news...

Iran has released the British servicemen/women. That's good. I'm hoping that the retired FBI agent who disappeared from an island belonging to Iran doesn't become a casus belli. Haven't heard a whole lot about the U.S. Attorney kerfuffle in the last few days. McCain took a trip to Iraq and went shopping. Bush is trying to get into a pissing fight with congress about the Iraq supplemental bill - first about going on vacation - and then leaves for the ranch himself. And about how many days it's taking them to pass the bill. Why isn't Feingold running for president? Let's draft him rather than Al Gore. Why is Cheney lurking in the bushes? That sounded like an odd metaphor. The Supreme Court ruled that the EPA has it in its power to regulate emissions that cause global warming. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Inhofe. We're supporting guerrilla raids into Iran (which surprises me none). The FBI has been spying on us all (which also surprises me none), even war protesters. Josh Wolf got out of jail finally. David Hicks is going to jail... for 9 months... and Cheney might have had something to do with it?


The list is enormous and there's no way I can even list them all. I have to say, though, I LOVE these: George W. Bush Scandals & Fuckups Collectors Plate Series.

I'm going to go play with my son.

Yo Todd, got this shirt yet?

I've found a new artist

He's not new, but he's new to me. I like his stuff. Reminds me of Dali. Mark Ryden. Check him out.

Public Service Announcement

Not like I have a lot of public, but for those of you out there with cats & dogs, check your food - some have died, some have simply gotten sick (kidney failure, I think they said). Pass the word.

http://menufoods.com/recall/

More news on the "I told you so" front

Mortgage Report Rattles Markets

A national survey showing that a soaring number of homeowners failed to make their mortgage payments in the last quarter of 2006 rattled lawmakers in Washington and the markets in New York yesterday, as the Dow Jones industrial average plummeted 2 percent, or nearly 243 points.

The report, which sent every major stock market indicator tumbling when it was released at noon, revealed that the problems in the market for "subprime" mortgages -- loans made to home buyers with blemished credit histories -- might be spilling over to the broader mortgage industry, analysts said.

Okay, just had to stick that in there. Was reading a blog entry titled "Study Proves Other People Are Even Worse Than We Thought" which made me laugh out loud. You'll have to watch the animation. So I may end up adopting a new catchphrase. "You're just vilifying a triangle!" and "You're just championing a triangle - jerk!"

Now I happened to be chatting with my ex-husband (#2, I don't keep in touch with #1) while reading this, and sent him the link to the animation, and then the article. He didn't anthropomorphize the triangles at ALL. Very interesting! I remember him telling me that on the thinking/feeling psych test he scored 100% thinking, which was unusual. He's an unusual guy. :)

Off to watch The Daily Show. Ciao!

Okay, maybe more people should be listening to me.

Okay, this is a big I TOLD YOU SO post. Except nobody was listening to me the first time (I mean, my babu was listening, but he doesn't make foreign policy or anything) so this won't feel as satisfying as it could.

I said back in 2003 that invading Iraq would lead to a huge mess, and accurately identified large chunks of the mess that have now resulted.

I said months and months ago that mortgage lenders were going to start going under because of all the people losing their homes & foreclosing. And here's the news.

"New Century may be insolvent because too many of its own customers -- most of whom have poor credit histories or heavy debt burdens -- aren't repaying their loans. Bad U.S. subprime mortgages are at a seven-year high, forcing more than two dozen lenders to close or sell operations. Their woes may contribute to more than 1.5 million Americans losing their homes and 100,000 people losing their jobs, according to real estate executives, economists, analysts and a Federal Reserve governor."

Eh, enough of I told you so's. No satisfaction.

I'm reading horror stories about how soldiers unfit for duty are being sent back to Iraq. I don't just mean the mentally unfit ones, the ones suffering from PTSD or depression or whatever - 'cause after all, they're not REALLY sick, right? *growl* - No, I'm talking about the soldiers who are PHYSICALLY UNFIT FOR DUTY ACCORDING TO PHYSICIANS.

As the military scrambles to pour more soldiers into Iraq, a unit of the Army's 3rd Infantry Division at Fort Benning, Ga., is deploying troops with serious injuries and other medical problems, including GIs who doctors have said are medically unfit for battle. Some are too injured to wear their body armor, according to medical records.

About those mentally unfit ones being redeployed - those are the ones that survived. Heard an interview on Fresh Air today about the special report done by Lisa Chedekel and Matthew Kauffman of The Hartford Courant (they're getting the George Polk Award for it): Mentally Unfit, Forced to Fight. Listening to the horror stories of suicidal soldiers who were told that they were faking it, or given antidepressants and told to get back to work - who then went off and shot themselves...

"In a case last July, a 20-year-old soldier who had written a suicide note to his mother was relieved of his gun and referred for a psychological evaluation, but then was accused of faking his mental problems and warned he could be disciplined, according to what he told his family. Three weeks later, after his gun had been handed back, Pfc. Jason Scheuerman, of Lynchburg, Va., used it to end his life."

He's only one of many. As a person who has been suicidal before, who has attempted before, who has been hospitalized for psychiatric reasons - this makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. It makes me weep. It makes me want to take the officials responsible for this out behind a barn and hurt them in creative ways.

I don't think I can read any more news tonight.

This got me thinking

Just started seeing a new counselor guy. I think I like him; we'll see. One of the questions he asked me in our first meeting, while typical, ended up surprising me. He asked me how high school was for me.

Pure, unadulterated, hell.

Why?

And then I had to think for a moment. Why WAS it that bad? I had a couple of good friends. I wasn't popular, but most of us weren't popular in high school. My experiences with fucktard husband #1 (the guy who said that I was lucky he was dating me because nobody else would) certainly put a damper on things - hard to enjoy yourself when you're in a relationship with a moron like that, and too stupid yourself to realize you should have set the guy on fire after the FIRST time he pulled some bullshit. That blows a good chunk of my time; sophomore thru senior year wasted on him. I occasionally wonder how my life would have been different had I known enough to not get involved with him.

But other than that, I felt different. No, DIFFERENT. In middle school I had been part of the "Misfit's Club" - those kids that weren't friends with anybody else. People have always called me weird, or strange. I've always been very emotional - kids stomping on bugs bothered me. Talking about people starving in the world reduced me to tears. I loved to learn. I think my favorite class was Humanities - the way everything in the world is interconnected is one of the things that makes me just vibrate with passion. But the stuff other kids in high school talked about just didn't make any sense to me. I wasn't interested in sports, I liked music but wasn't a rabid fan of anybody (I listened to the Beatles and Simon & Garfunkel mostly, for chrissakes) and my sense of fashion was unusual, to put it mildly. Brand names meant nothing to me. I loved to sing, and was constantly irritated by the people in chorus who were there for two years just for the credit requirement. I always thought that in my junior & senior year, those people would go off and do something else and leave the chorus to those of us perfectionists that were passionately interested in it. (It was a great disappointment when they stuck around - that's largely why I quit chorus my junior year and joined band. Another mistake.) I didn't think I was attractive. (I look back now and say "Holy Shit! Damn, I'd have done me!")

I'm rambling. I do that a lot. To myself and out loud, too, so Hex isn't the only one. This stupid navel gazing sometimes tires me. I keep doing it because I'm trying to find out what's wrong with me. Or, failing that, I'm trying to find coping mechanisms so I can live with myself. (And let other people live with me; being married with two kids kinda blows my hermit option.)

Maybe I over-think things. I'm going to go do something else.

It's a good thing neither J nor I are sympathetic vomiters.

But I have to say, if I get thrown up on one more time, I'm going to lose what tenuous hold on sanity I have.

Sitting & reading

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

We sold the house!

WOOOHOOOO!

Everything else pretty much is the same.

just had to jot this down before I forgot

Because this is so cute...

C was eating a pickle, and he'd taken two or three bites out of the side. He held it up and said "look! A rollercoaster! The boy goes here, and here, and here!"

okay, going to sleep now. Hope you all had a happy buy-flowers-and-chocolate day last week.

Sunday night, doing laundry...

Taking a break from housework 'cause my back hurts (yes I do housework) J showed me something really nifty.

Ryan, now that you're done with your cranes, you should start on this.

Let me get this straight - we're in desperate need of foreign language speakers in the armed forces, especially Middle Eastern languages, but the armed forces have fired more than 300 linguists because they don't like their sexual preferences??? It's crap like this that makes me think the American empire deserves to be taken off its pedestal.

A word to the wise: do not allow Civ 4 in your house.

I'm NOT getting excited. I'm NOT.

Or at least I'm trying not to.

We assumed that the house went up for auction on January 10th. I cancelled the insurance policy effective that date, and we went about our daily lives.

Got a letter from the mortgage company saying "hey, you don't have insurance on your house, what's the deal?" So I called them. I informed them that as far as _I_ knew, we didn't OWN the house anymore. They looked up the info and said well, no, actually, maybe the judge's docket was full or something, but it's still listed in active foreclosure....

Whatever. Told them we didn't want the house. Had been trying to sell it. They were welcome to it.

Got a letter from a woman in town who made sure to mention that she wasn't an investment buyer, she just wanted to know if she could buy our house, she was a local person. I called her on a whim.

Today, handed her a signed contract of intent to sell; we're waiting on the mortgage company's lawyers to give us the payoff amount, and then (assuming she doesn't find anything horrible about the house between now & then) we'll go to closing. She's paying off everything - fees, taxes, etc. - we'll just walk away clean.

I'm not getting excited until I'm there at closing. I'm definitely not going to mention it to my parents; I'll just avoid all that BS. (I can hear my mother now... "shouldn't you try to get some money from it? You signed the contract??! Don't you think you should have a lawyer look at it first? Who are these people? " argh.)

I'm glad my husband takes good care of me. I'd be in a mental institution by now if he didn't. If I don't eat regularly I completely start to fall apart. I'd last eaten around noon, and it was 6:30pm, and I was at the 'fuck everything what's the point' stage.

Oh, and because we've cancelled our homeowner's insurance, we lost that discount, and our insurance payment has actually GONE UP. Wtf.

Odd

I've just discovered that I'm not getting emails of my comments... noticed I had comments I'd never seen. Hrm. Probably the spam filter. Wonder if I've missed anything else?

There's not much going on. M didn't get thrown out of school. There HAS been a new policy enacted at the school; we now have to walk around to the BACK of the building to pick up and drop off our children. Not sure what good this does; maybe they have cameras, as J suggested? ~shrug~

Everything else that's been going on has been mental. I'm stressed out. Quelle surprise. I don't know how my sister-in-law managed to go all that time living in other people's houses and not go totally mental. My hat goes off to you, woman.

I'm sure there was something productive I was planning on doing when I got onto a computer that could get online. (Did I mention the antenna in my iBook seems to be dying?) But if there was something I meant to do, or needed to do, I can't remember what it is right now.

AAAARRRRRGGGH I cannot STAND that woman!

I've quite possibly just gotten my daughter kicked out of school today.

They called me to say she was lethargic, had a sore throat, and had put her hand to her head and said "I just can't take anymore!" That's my daughter, budding drama queen. Anyway, at the time, I was taking my father to his doctor's appointment, and wouldn't be able to pick her up for a bit (who knows how long it would take to wait around, you know?) but that I'd be there as soon as I could and by all means please call me immediately if she gets a fever or gets worse or anything.

So after TWO HOURS with dad at the doctor, I run him home because he's positively drooping he's so tired, and speed over to school to get M. On the way out, I run into the principal, a woman I've never really liked. And not just because of the way she treats my mother-in-law. (Yes, I just had a fight with my mother-in-law's boss. And my mother-in-law is out of town watching her 4th child graduate from boot camp; I can't wait to see what happens when she comes back to town and work. *sigh*)

Anyway, the principal asks if I signed M out, and I said well, yes, in the classroom... and she said no, I need you to sign out over there (the main office) so I grumble a little but walk all the way down the sidewalk to the other end of the building and press the intercom button. I tell the nice voice on the other side my name, and that I was told to come sign my daughter M out, and the voice says to come up the stairs on the left. At that point, the door is supposed to be buzzed unlocked. I tried the door in front of me. Still locked. The door next to it? Locked. Walked over to the other two doors about 6 feet away - those locked too. At this point, I completely lost my patience and decided to leave. It was cold outside, I was sick, M was sick, I was tired - the hell with it. To my dismay, we run into the principal AGAIN as we're almost to the car, and M, the helpful little angel, says "The door was locked!! We couldn't get in!" *GROAN*

Ms. Principal and I then proceed to get into it, her saying that there's been a suspected kidnapping or something at a local middle school, and that I have to follow procedure. I tell her that I told them over the intercom, that the door didn't unlock, and that I've already signed my daughter out in her classroom. The argument continues; I inform her that I've got a bad knee, and what does she do for handicapped parents? They can't go upstairs to sign out, and there's no elevator! She says yes, it's an old building, and I say well, isn't that illegal? She says she didn't know I had a bad knee and I respond I didn't know I had to wear a sign. I told her I'd ALREADY complained about this before, and she said well, not to me! And I said no, I wasn't aware I needed to come to you; I assumed that if I complained to one of your employees that the next time that employee talked to you, she'd say "Hey, you know, I had a parent come to me today and say they had trouble making it up the stairs to sign their child out; what are we going to do for disabled parents?" (Hell, I was thinking "Nitwit, you should have thought of this yourself ANYWAY when you first instituted this policy!") At one point I actually looked up to the sky and said ARGH! She then says (with this 'tone') that I'd picked M up early somewhat frequently lately, and why was I picking her up today? I snapped at her BECAUSE THEY CALLED ME, BECAUSE SHE'S SICK. (Like it fucking matters why I'm picking up my daughter early? She's my child. Bite me. And I haven't picked her up early often lately, have I?) So she says "well, I hope she feels better soon" and turns on her heel and walks away.

This doesn't really get the whole feel of the interaction; I hate that my memory seems to fritz out when my emotions run high. Hey, THAT'S why my memory sucks - not just because I chronically was running low on sleep, but because I'm a very emotional person! Damn damn damn.

My husband, sweetheart that he is, gave me a hug when we went to visit, and told me that he's got my back. Awwww. He said "this is kind of the wrong time for you to have to argue with stupid people anyway, you know?" Oy vey, that's right - technically my period starts in 4 days (of course, it probably won't, as I'm now on the shot, but we're still figuring out exactly how the new hormone balance is working). I told J I'm betting $50 that I'm going to receive a letter from her soon that says "because of my unwillingness (or inability) to follow the safety procedures set up at the school, that she feels it would be best if my daughter attend somewhere else." Any takers?

The bad thing is that my mother-in-law is probably going to get flack over this. I was willing to go sign M out; I was willing to walk all the way down the outside of the building to the opposite end in the cold to get buzzed in; I was willing to drag myself and my two children up the stairs, even. But when the door didn't unlock, something just snapped, and I ceased to be patient or accommodating. All I wanted was to get out of the cold and go the hell home.

On the bright side, Kia just called - holy cow, they have fixed my van! Third transmission's the charm, as the guy said. Mom's on her way home and then I'm going to head over to the rental place to return the car. Woo!

Indulging in gown watching at the Golden Globes

Okay, not like my opinion of fashion counts (I mean, wow, have you seen what I wear?) but I just love to take notes while perusing the red carpet photos.

Becki Newton - color looks good on her, dress doesn't impress me. If the inside color of the fabric is different than the outside, and you're going to have a slit, please make sure the dress is lined or something so you can't see the obvious inside hem.

Jennifer Lopez - cool!! I like it a lot. Wish I could see the entire back.

Evangeline Lilly - neat dress! Unique, and form-flattering.

Shonda Rimes - it's okay; can't decide if she could have done something besides that waist bow. I'm sure it's hard to find haute couture in plus sizes. Heck, I couldn't even find jeans at Target for myself.

Angelina Jolie - very classy. Looks great when she's moving. I probably wouldn't have worn gold with it, though.

Nicollette Sheridan - I'd like it better if it didn't have the black ties around the chest and knees. It's an "Eh" dress - doesn't make me want to vomit, doesn't make me wish I could wear it. Kinda reminds me of Barbie.

Rachel Weisz - looks good in red. Nice classic dress.

Jennifer Love Hewitt - what a nifty dress! Love the vines. Would probably like it better without the waist bow; would show off her curves nicely - waist bow unnecessary.

Jennifer Hudson - looks kind of unfinished. I mean, there's this nice gathering and draping of fabric from between ample breasts - but nothing else. Maybe the back of the dress completes it.

Ali Larter - okay, if I wanted to see the skin beneath your breasts, I'd look for you in a bikini. I cannot STAND these dresses that are open to practically the navel. Ugh. However, were her dress's cleavage pulled together for about 3 inches or so, it would be very nice.

Rinko Kikuhi - weird. Black bows on the shoulders need to go, but otherwise it's nice in that "I look different" kinda way.

Penelope Cruz - pretty! I think I'd like it in something besides black more - a dark burgundy, say. But I do like it.

Kate Winslet - Eh. Okay. Nice and simple. Drapes nicely. Doesn't flatter her shape somehow. That might just be this picture (the angle and whatnot).

Tina Fey - again with the skin under the boobies! Pull that top together a little bit more - just an inch, dangit! - and it's a nice dress. (Kinda cocktail-partyish, though, isn't it, for a formal award ceremony?)

America Ferrera - pretty. When I saw just the bodice without the skirt I said ugh, but altogether it's nice.

Vanessa Williams - okay, when I can stop looking at the hair... I like the fabric. I'm not a fan of this style dress, but it looks okay on her.

Reese Witherspoon - doesn't do anything for me.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus - something seems slightly off about the bodice. The beading is nice, the gold fabric nice... just... something... Otherwise I like it.

Mary Lynn Rajskub - did she ride to the award ceremony in a convertible? I like the dress, although it looks like it's too low on her chest - either she has a very long distance between the top of her shoulders and her breasts, or the dress could be hiked up some. Cute pink with nice fabric draping.

Yunjin Kim - I REALLY like this dress. Again, wish the dress cleavage was just a LITTLE higher, but otherwise, YUM. Love the way the fabric is pulled into the waist; love the black flowers that make the waist, and love the way the dress just flows to the ground.

Sheryl Crow - I like this one! Sort of Grecian looking, with the draping. Flowers at the bodice with the fabric flowing from that to the ground - very nice.

Katherine Heigl - it's a nice dress for that style - but I'm not a fan of this style, nor generally do I go for asymmetrical hemlines. Eh.

Lorraine Nicholson - very nice dress; perfect for an award-hander-outer as it's classy and yet not attention grabbing.

Jennifer Garner - does she have no breasts? Dress doesn't do much for me. It's ok.

Courteney Cox - Unless it looks better from the side, or the back, or when she moves, or something, all I have to say is NO. Looks like somebody got lazy or freaky with layering black tulle over flesh-colored fabric.

Naomi Watts - I think if the medallions across the bust and down the sides were a different color, or the dress a different color, I'd like this dress. As is - eh. That blue looks nice on her, anyway.

Sienna Miller - I like the top, I like the bottom... somehow they seem a little disconnected. If perhaps the designer had run some gold down the skirt from the points from the bodice, it would have looked more cohesive. Oh, and the back is pretty, too.

Beyoncé Knowles - Oh. My. God. Burn it.

Eva Longoria - the beaded straps are nice, but they seem to go across the bust in the wrong place. They don't accentuate her breasts; either the dress isn't designed right for a band across there, or the dress isn't in the right place, or something. This dress does nothing for me. And having now seen a picture of the back of the dress, I like it even less. Ugh.

Jessica Biel - You know, I wouldn't think I'd like this dress, but I really do. It helps that it fits her body so perfectly. The stripes go horizontal at JUST the right point, and stop at the right point too... very nice.

Toni Collette - haven't I seen this dress already? Well, no, but similar. It's a beautifully done classic draped bodice with the fabric flowing down, and the blue color is nice.

Cameron Diaz - I have to try to look past the woman wearing the dress, as I think she's one of the most unattractive stars out there. But even looking past her (and what the hell did she do to her hair??) I loathe this dress.


- Off the subject, having just turned on the TV briefly, I saw the "Snapalope" commercial from Slim Jim. Heeheeheeheehee! -


Felicity Huffman - I really like this! I like the color, I love the way it drapes from the bodice all the way down to the ground - I'd like to see what it looks like from the back, actually.

Drew Barrymore - I can tell the dress is pale pink (which looks great on her) - but I'm having trouble seeing details of the dress. I think it's another one of those classic draped bodices and skirt, which as far as I can tell, is very nice. Maybe I can find more pictures. Found a couple more pictures - the draping is beautifully done.

Salma Hayek - DANG! The dress is gorgeous, and shows off her assets beautifully. Both assets. ROWR.

Hilary Swank - When I first saw this dress, I said ICK. Weirdly enough, it's growing on me. Like I said, I'm not generally a fan of the fishtail dresses, and the way the bows cross on her they make it look like she's a wrapped present.

The chick with Aaron Eckhart - intriguing beaded bodice - it's unique, which is nice. I can't tell if it's just the way she's standing or if she's really not very well endowed boob-wise, but I think this dress would probably look better on some nice large breasts. (It'd hang nicely.)

Sofia Milos - I love a dark haired woman in a red dress. From what I can tell, I like this dress too. The one-shoulder with a slight ruffle around the top is a nice start, and it shows off the curves on the way down. I can't tell if the skirt is just straight, or has a funky train, or what, but what I see I like.

Jada Pinkett Smith - I'm wondering if I can find a picture that shows the skirt, because all I can see now is what looks like a pink ribbon wound around her like a mummy wrapping.

Maggie Gyllenhaal - I've only seen one picture, but I'm wondering why she wore a belt around a drop-waist gown? From what I can seen of the dress, it's a pretty blah black dress, but I can't see a whole lot.

Meryl Streep - I'm looking at just one picture that doesn't show the whole dress, but I think the top looks cool - a gauzy draped over the shoulder look, with what looks like a ribbon wrapped around the torso; very kore-like.

Renée Zellweger - the green looks good on her. I'm trying to figure out exactly what the dress looks like; the picture I've got is from a bad angle. It looks like from between the breasts an outer layer of the dress opens up. The dress shows her shape okay; the bodice is very well fitted.

Jenna Fischer - Looks like it's black lace over pink? Peach? satin. It's a pretty dress, and it might just be the angle of the photo, but it doesn't seem to flatter her curves the way it should.

Kyra Sedwick - The top of the bodice is okay, I'm having trouble seeing what the middle/bottom is like, and why is there a dark something tied around it? Okay, nothing great from what I can see.

Sosie Ruth Bacon - This dress is ADORABLE! Absolutely gorgeous. Perfect on her.

Isla Fisher - I don't know what the front looks like, but the back is gorgeous.

Emily Blunt - It shows off her curves nicely. I have to say, it looks like another dress was grafted on around knee-level. I wish it had just stayed tight & formfitting. Or something.

Cate Blanchette - straight off, I have to say I have very rarely found a dress attractive that does this short-in-the-front-long-in-the-back thing. This one is no exception.

Teri Hatcher - ignoring for the moment her freakish looks... only picture of the dress I've seen so far is from the back. The draped back is very nice, and the skirt works. She's described as playing a 30's screen star, so I can only guess at the front of the dress. Having now seen the front, I like it, mostly. It would probably look better with more boobage to fill out the front. Statuesque gown, I like the lines quite a bit - but Hatcher's just slightly too bony to wear it well.

Hayden Panettiere - The photo is washed out so I can't see much detail of drape and fabric. White dress with wide metallic belt. Eh, okay.

Sara Ramirez - another brunette in red - so far, so good. Have only seen picture of back, which looks okay - there is evidently some beading going on that might be nice in the front. From what I can see from the back, no problem.

Ellen Pompeo - Okay, I saw the side of this dress somewhere but now can't find the picture. (The picture I'm looking at now is just from about mid-thigh up, with a guy in the way.) I remember thinking when I saw it that it looked somewhat futuristic, and the curvy swoops on the sides were unique... I'll look for other shots.

Mary J. Blige - okay, it's a brunette in a red dress. From what I can see of this red dress, however, it doesn't do a whole lot for me. We'll see what a full shot makes me think.

Chloë Sevigny - this looks more like a beach wrap that goes over your bathing suit than a gown.

Ginnifer Goodwin - ugh. Might just be the photo.

Jeanne Tripplehom - okay little black dress, looks more cocktail dressy than formal award ceremony to me.

Patricia Arquette - is the top of that dress leather?? Odd, but not ugly.

Rosanna Arquette - the dress is nice, I like lace overlay when done right. I think this dress would have looked a lot better if rather than a V-neck cleavage it had been a more curved or straight-across strapless underdress beneath the lace.

Elizabeth Mitchell - I can't tell what this dress looks like for sure because the only picture I've got is from the side - the color is okay for her, but the dress looks eh.

Abigail Breslin - Okay, I realize this is a child, but goddammit people, this dress doesn't even look like it fits the poor girl. Not sure what the rest of the top looks like under the little sweater she's wearing.

Giuliana DePandi - definitely flatters her curves, I like everything except perhaps whatever the deal is with the front of the bodice. I can't quite figure out if those ribbon like things are attached or what.

Okay, I've done tons of people, some of whom I've never even heard of, and I have more important things to do.

Oh good, I needed a laugh!

J went to put on the Pulsar watch his dad got him for Christmas, and looked at the day/date display, and says to me "What month does VIE stand for? Is it French?" Laughing the entire time I look up stuff online and realize it's the day of the week - Friday in Spanish. Only J's dad could manage to buy a Spanish watch.

We finally got a rental from Kia. Saturn Ions are pretty comfy. Although honestly, any modern 4-door car that didn't smell like ancient ketchup would be comfy at this point.

Well, that chapter is over

So the house goes up for auction today. I wonder how much they'll get for it. There was more stuff there that we were keeping than I thought. I think we got home at 2 something. Robin let us borrow her truck again. I'm going to start buying lottery tickets, so if I win I can get her something nice. :) That's probably the only way she'd accept a gift, heh.

Got a call from FSU today; she's mailing me the packet to do the individual class medical withdrawal from Summer 1999. I'm wondering what kind of documentation they'll need, and quite frankly, I'm wondering if I can get it at this point. They may not think a suicide attempt and week-long incarceration in the psych ward is sufficient, in which case I don't know what I'm going to do. I'll have to do something to bring up my GPA - but I don't know if that's possible after already finishing my AA, you know? Perhaps it just means attending an online college like U of Phoenix. That doesn't help part of the reason for going back to school, that being to meet some intelligent like-minded people for us to spend time with.

Amazingly enough, this page is still up after who knows how many hours - it's almost midnight. I'm starting to get wheezy and have a slight cough - I hope it doesn't go any farther than this. Had a very productive day today, even with M staying home. I even made dinner for everybody, and managed to have everything done at the same time! J said it was the best meatloaf he'd ever had, and he's sorry I'd not made one for him before now. (I'd not made one before because he's always said he wasn't a big meatloaf fan. He said if he'd known my meatloaf was like this, he'd have asked me to make them. :) Nice ego boost, there.) Between J's approval and my dad's (he cleaned his plate) I had a good evening.

The evening was only slightly dampened by listening to the President's speech. I have to say, I'm glad I'm not the only one who picked up on the phrasing wherein he said that they would interrupt and destroy any networks supplying weapons, training, etc. supplied by Iran or Syria. That quite possibly means WITHIN Iran or Syria. Add to that the "I recently ordered the deployment of an additional carrier strike group to the region." statement, and... I know people have been pushing for us to attack Iran for years now, but this is a step closer than I really like to be, honestly.

Oh, and did any of you see that clip of Tony Snow where he says "The President has the ability to exercise his own authority if he thinks Congress has voted the wrong way.” WTF???!! Gee, I think Congress voted the wrong way on something, so I won't obey the law. Where the hell in the Constitution did you get that, George? Probably the same place he got the idea that signing statements were any more than a comment by himself.

Must go to sleep.