mostly pointless meanderings

Thursday, December 28, 2006

More on my platform

On the Iraq war:

Partially because I paid attention to history, and partially because I'm aware of certain psychological issues that make a difference to people, I knew that going in and taking out Saddam Hussein had a one in a million chance of working. Add to that our dumb-ass cowboy president and his stupid defense secretary who MADE NO PLANS FOR POST INVASION, and it was doomed from the start. I sincerely doubt I would have voted to give his sorry ass permission to invade in the first place. I'm not sure what kind of 'evidence' of WMD the people up on the Hill were shown; perhaps it would have convinced me - but I doubt it. So, if it were up to me, we probably wouldn't be there in the first damn place.

However, having said that - we're there now. I honestly have no idea how to "fix" it. Part of me thinks we should just take all our troops out immediately. Part of me thinks we should go back in the files and pull out the Marshall Plans and actually rebuild the fucking country the right way - which includes stringing war profiteers up by their thumbs, the bloodsucking cockroaches. If it's been proven that you're purposefully overcharging the army for supplies, you don't get future contracts. That should be a given, don't you think? I agree with Eisenhower - the military-industrial complex is a sneaky horror that has sucked enough money and blood from this country over the decades. I haven't read the Iraq Advisory Group's report, but from what I've heard of it, it makes sense. Personally, I think our entire foreign policy should get a major overhaul. That requires a whole lot more detail than I can go into right now. My hand already hurts from typing.

More to come when I'm feeling like it.

Can I have a vacation?

"But you don't have a job!" you say? Well, aside from my job as mommy, wife, and daughter to elderly parents, I want a vacation from reality.

Last night while putting together one of those wire mesh cube thingies that you can use to store things in, I think I broke something in my left hand. Today, J takes the van to work because the buick's gas tank was empty - and the transmission dies. So I go pick him up, take him to work (he's sick, btw), come back to the van, and call Kia. While I'm waiting for the tow truck to come get it, I'm cleaning it out and loading as much as I can fit in the buick. (The van was still full of stuff - we hadn't unloaded it because frankly there was no room in the house for it. Literally.) So at some point I'm going to have to find a place to put some of the stuff out of the buick this afternoon because I have to go pick up J from work. I may or may not have to take the kids with me, which will involve unloading even more stuff. *sigh*

But it's a gorgeous day! And I got to drive alone with my babu to his office. I'm attempting to cook something my kids will actually eat, and then it's naptime for them. Wish me luck!

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Putting together my platform

Were I to run for office...

Well, to start on a totally fluffy note, I think Tom Petty's I Won't Back Down would be my theme song. Heh.

I was reading Joe Klein's Politics Lost: How American Democracy Was Trivialized By People Who Think You're Stupid last night and had this thought: people today are sick and tired of politicians who say what the focus groups tell them will fly; they want someone who is genuine and yet not a freak or unstable. What would happen if a politician stepped forward and said "These are the things that the consultants and focus groups tell me I should say. I don't want to say what these people think you want to hear. I know what _I_ think is important - I want to know what YOU think is important. Here's my phone number. Here's my email address. Here's my mail address. Tell me what YOU think is important. We live in a great republic that was put together so that you could pick leaders to represent you in making decisions for our nation. I, for one, am tired of those representatives in Washington only hearing the people who pay the most."

Back to parenting and unpacking. More later.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Merry sort-of Christmas

Both the kids have been sick, and now pawpaw has come down with it - not to mention we're still living out of boxes - so we've postponed christmas (and M's birthday) this year. Until last night, we had exactly enough floorspace in our room for two twin mattresses and two sleeping bags. Now we've rearranged and moved things - granted, now most of it is piled in the living room next door, but what the hey. The kids were so excited to have open floor; they were running around in circles laughing and giggling. (They've also been cooped up in here for too long.)

So J went back to work today. Blah. It's amazing how quickly I get used to having him around. Last night he reached maximum density with my mom (& dad, to some extent), today it's my turn, I think. Between that and M having an absolute meltdown over everything, I'm rather low on my emotional fortitude.

On the bright side, there is a beautiful male cardinal in the pyrecantha bush outside the window, and for a brief moment anyway, it's not raining. We've got all the bookcases put up, so now I can start putting things away on them.

Hey Kaiser, I hope we didn't miss you entirely - and if we did, dammit! J & I were really looking forward to seeing you while you were in town. Next time, then.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Okay, I'm not fond of this family tradition

So, Moira was sick for her birthday. I say was - still is. Now C's got it too. We're taking bets on who gets it first, me or J.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Happy December Holiday!

That should cover all bases.

We finished at the old house today - even swept the ceiling fans and wiped down the baseboards. The witch that's taking care of it for our out-of-town landlord will probably never notice, and will probably find other things to complain about, but our landlord has been such a sweetheart that I wanted to do all I could.

So J sees these commercials for PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) and comes home and says "hey, you have to check this out - go to understandpmdd.com and see if they have anything useful to say." So I'm looking - their list of treatments include birth control pills and anti-depressants. Okay, doing that already, thanks. But I guess it's nice to know that it's not that we're crazy, but that there's something really wrong. Even if "something really wrong" means "you and your hormones don't get along but we have no further information at this time." At this point I'm curious about what part of my insanity is hormonal, and what part is bipolar. Or if I'm not bipolar at all, and it is borderline personality disorder. Or if the borderline personality disorder was brought on by the hormonal mood swings and slightly odd family life. Oy. I keep wishing for the Star-Trek era medicine, where they scan you and tell you that you have too much magnesium in your body and that's why you're feeling crappy, or whatever.

I've now become tired and don't feel like telling you about the christmas party the kids and I went to tonight, or the company christmas party J & I went to Saturday night. Or much of anything else, really. In case I don't write anything more before then, for the tiny population of people that read this, I hope you have a great and relaxing holiday season.

Monday, December 11, 2006

It's Monday of the last week of moving

aaaaaaand the week before my period. Let the meltdown begin.


Oh, and we decided that we needed just a bit more room in our storage unit, so this week I'm also moving all the stuff two buildings over.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Whatcha think, Bill?

I read this, and heard the quote by Arlen Specter on NPR's Justice Talking (he was bitching about signing statements) wherein he mentioned that Conyers was drafting impeachment papers - I've heard the "I-word" a lot more publicly recently, think there's a snowball's chance in hell? Talk to me of political realities, man!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Actually Spoken During the Course of My Day

"Hey, whaddaya know? Both gay AND Egyptian!"




I almost wish I was still friends with Erinn, who would get that joke.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

A day in the life

So I wake up this morning at 5am; M is calling me. I go in there, she says she doesn't feel good, would I read to her? So I'm reading to her for about twenty minutes and then she starts throwing up. So I clean all that and her up, read to her some more, tuck her in, and go lie back down next to C, who is starting to stir. About half an hour later, the sound of retching jerks me out of sleep. (I swear, they should make alarm clocks that sound like your cat or child throwing up - you wake up with this surge of adrenaline, it's unreal.) So I run in there, take care of her again, clean everything up, more clean sheets, etc. Tuck her back in. This time I go lie down in the recliner, so if she starts throwing up again I won't wake up C jumping out of bed. Sure enough, around 6 something? (I've lost track at this point) poor thing starts again. I'm in there, cleaning her up, getting her hair out of her face, etc. - J wakes up, as it's about time for me to start getting M ready for school - I ask if he can get M a blanket, because C is starting to wake up, so I run in there to get him re-settled, and then I think we all go back to sleep - it's kind of fuzzy at this point. Anyway, I vaguely remember him telling me goodbye, he was going to work.

So later, after C wakes me up, I fix him & M breakfast (she says she's hungry, that's a good sign) and we're cuddling up watching a movie. My day starts to go downhill from there - here's the conversation I had with my husband.



10:49 my day has gone from bad to worse
10:49 during a fight my laptop got yanked off the table
10:49 M had a poopy diaper, and for some reason wouldn't let me look at it, I had to basically pick her up to check it
10:49 so went and put her in the bathtub
10:49 then C wanted to get in the bathtub
10:49 and said he was poopy
10:50 so he walked up to me, both of us taking his diaper off at the same time
10:50 turned out he was poopING (so he could get in the bathtub) - had to clean his poop off the bathroom floor - but no biggie, it's solid!
10:51 finished rinsing butts, got M out & dried her, was in the process of prying C out of the tub because he didn't want to come when M comes running back in and says "I pooped!"
10:51 I look down the hallway and there's this big puddle of diarrhea
10:51 so I tell her to get back in the bathtub, turn the water back on, hand them the spray handle, and close the curtain
10:52 I can't get it all out of the carpet without a carpet cleaner
10:52 my hands now smell like orange peels, vomit, and shit, so I'm not sure how I'm going to eat my grits (which I'm sure are cold by now)

10:59 I just had to go back there and check on the screaming - M had pooped in the shower, and C had closed the bathtub drain
10:59 so I empty out all the poopy water, tell M if she thinks she has to go again to try to make it to the potty
11:00 as I say "do you understand?" she poops again.
11:00 so I wash C off, take him out, and dry him off and get him dressed. M is in the shower by herself now.



This is why when I fill out forms that ask for my employment I don't put "unemployed" - I put "Stay-at-home-mother" - because this is a job, dammit, and if I were doing this for money you'd have to pay me an awful lot.

I'm going to go try to make more progress towards moving out of this house. As J put it, the kids are still alive, so it's okay. Nothing else is really all that important.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

I'm making up retorts in my head

After all this stress, all this... and they don't show. No phone call, nothing. I'm already composing things to say when I do hear from the realtor. My initial reaction when I answer the phone? "Oh my god, are you okay? Are you in the hospital? Because I was expecting you at my house XXX HOURS AGO."

Grumpy does not even begin to describe me. I could have spent all this time much more productively sorting and packing, dammit. And not so stressed out that I was stressing out my husband and children, and having mini nervous breakdowns.

Ah, well. Time done and gone. I've discovered a new movie that I'd never seen before that I really enjoy. I have no idea where it came from, but Sinbad was in our group of kids' movies that I finally put in the other day. Wheeeee! Goofy, unrestrained, comedic-romantic adventure. Just my kind of thing, especially when stressed.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Stolen from Dan (a great writer)

What Kind of Reader Are You?
Your Result: Dedicated Reader
 

You are always trying to find the time to get back to your book. You are convinced that the world would be a much better place if only everyone read more.

Literate Good Citizen
 
Book Snob
 
Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm
 
Fad Reader
 
Non-Reader
 

Yay for Depo!

Soon, no more periods! That'll be nice. The lack of hormonal cycling should make life a little more even for me; we'll see how it goes.

On a totally different note, I got the letter from FSU the other day. The whole "thanks for submitting your application, it's denied" letter. *sigh* Okay, I know nothing is simple, especially nothing worth getting, but goddammit I was hoping THIS at least would be simple right now! ARGH! So going back to school and finishing my 4 year degree will take a little longer to get restarted. Oh, well. When I'm done moving and trying to sell my house before it's foreclosed I'll get back on that.

Back to packing! Two weeks left! Oh, and we have to show the house this Sunday to the people who are taking it. So I wonder, if they change their minds, do we still have to be out by the 15th? I mean, why else would they want to look at it again? They've seen it before, they've seen pictures - they just want to do a walk-through. I got smart-ass with the realtor when she said they wanted to see it again; I said "tell them it looks exactly the same except the carpet is dirty."

What am I doing blabbing in here? Gotta run! Hey, if any of you would like to watch the kids for a little while in the next two weeks, any sort of babysitting would be wonderful. I love them to death, but they're killing me.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Webcomic addiction strikes again

Irregular Webcomic is one of my favorites, because of days like this one.

Where are you?

Just for fun, thought I'd go ahead and put one of these in.


Okay, I'm done with this.

I have a doctor's appt. tomorrow morning. I'm going to discuss with him the pros and cons of ceasing to menstruate, because this is sucking. J & I think we've discovered what the spike of insanity is that happens right around now in my cycle - I'm ovulating. (And my body would like to make it known that we can thank the right ovary this month. Ouch.) That spike of estrogen sends me off the deep end every time. I seem to suffer from excess estrogen (according to the list of symptoms here, anyway) - I'd love to actually have some testing over time to see what my hormone levels actually are.

Gotta get to work. No kids at the moment, yay!

Wheeeeee!

Went and saw Casino Royale tonight. Loved it. (Funnily enough, my friend Patrick evidently went to see the same flick tonight with some buddies - I have no idea if he was in the same theatre or not. heh.) This is my favorite Bond movie, and I've seen them all. I wonder if they'll do more like this? Actually going by the books, that is...

As I start to come home, I start getting a bit sad, thinking that I'm coming home to two screaming kids, and a messy house that we're packing up, etc... having just spent two hours looking at glamour (and violence, yes, but violence in very trendy, expensive places), it's a bit of a mental readjustment for me to come back to reality. And then it hits me - I'm going home to my Vesper Lynd. I married my best friend, and he's there for me when I come home - what more do I want? Bond would give a body part for that.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Not sure what to do with this... have I mentioned this already?

Every time Moira goes potty, and I ask her if she wiped (because she forgets) I get this LOOK, and she says "Don't talk to me."


Is it friday yet? Altho that's a double edged sword - fridays sort of mean I get J home more, but it also means it is that much closer to when we've got to be moved out.

I'm going to finish my champagne. Night, all.

Is it just me, or does Big Bird sound different?

I had read this comic at Somethingpositive.net (not your mother's comic strip) and now I'm wondering, as I sit here at my parents' house and my son watches "Journey to Ernie"... I'm going to go see if Carroll Spinney is still okay. I'm sure if he died there would be a big deal made about it (at least as big as OJ) - come on, this is BIG BIRD!

AHA, mine ears did not deceive me! From Wikipedia: "In recent years Spinney has had to minimize his time performing Big Bird, due to his age. The literally heavy responsibility of performing Big Bird has gone to Matt Vogel, who performs the character in the regular "Journey to Ernie" segment, and to a very limited extent, Rick Lyon."

The world turns, and our time upon this stage is so brief in the grand scheme of things.

Anyway, as soon as I'm done with breakfast, and looking to see if there are any studies at Shands for hormone imbalance type things, I'm going to get to work here at my parents' house. Wish me luck, I'm fighting years of packrat piling.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

I must be crazy.

(and you all are going "well, DUH, is this news?")

Our landlord called. There are some people interested in the house that looked at it before we moved in. They need it by Dec 15th, however. So in exchange for us not having to pay the first two weeks in December and our entire security deposit back, we're going to be out by the 15th.

I think it's amazingly nice of her, seeing as how we're breaking our lease to begin with. She really likes us; I chatted with her for over half an hour yesterday. Anyway, so we have less than a month to get out now. I've decided that not everything will probably be sorted, and that's okay. The sorted boxes will be on the outside edges of the storage unit, and the unsorted ones in the middle - I can always sort through it a box at a time in my spare time.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA



Okay, what was I saying? I wonder what I have to do at FSU now to get the ball rolling... THAT is going to have to wait until the new year, I believe, as between moving and rearranging my parents' house, my plate is more than full for a while. That goes on the back burner. (My stove has about fifty burners right now.)

I really wish my daughter wasn't so fond of Cinderella. The Disney version has really started to get on my nerves lately. Just, bleah, you know?
And before I buy a watch online I'm going to go try some on in stores - the watch I'm wearing right now is evidently VERY small, and even a ladies' digital/analog watch (that rarity beyond measure) is going to be larger.

OH - my friend Khang sent me this link that just BLOWS my mind. I'm seriously, seriously considering trying to get my hands on some of this stuff. Part of me worries about what kind of mental chemistry mess I'd create - since I'm already a bit funky somehow now - but DAMN, could I use some... especially now!

Monday, November 20, 2006

Okay, okay, YES, I'm picky

My wristwatch is getting rusty (wtf?! I thought Timex had lifetime guarantees or something?) so I'm looking for a watch again. This time, I'm not compromising - I know exactly what I want, and what I need, and I'm willing to pay for it (especially if it won't start rusting or pitting after a year or two).

I just can't find it.

You know those men's watches that have everything? You know how hard it is to find a women's version of that? I'm fat, but I'm short and underneath the fat have relatively fine bones - I don't want a huge watch banging around on my wrist.

I need a watch that

keeps time (duh)
has alarms (4 daily alarms and 1 snooze seems common, I could really use that)
a countdown timer (the 24hr one - the ones that only go up to 60 minutes are useless)
preferably has hands (analog)
has a date (day and date a bonus)
is water resistant (I'm a mommy)
indiglo backlight thing useful
is metal (none of these goofy sports watches with rubber bands, I'm done with those.)

if it's got a nice leather band, I could stand that too.


I don't want time zones in 27 cities, a stopwatch, telememo pages, changeable face color plates, or any of that other stuff. Help! I'm going to peruse Froogle tonight while lying in bed, maybe it'll come up with something.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Well, whatever

Damn realtor woman who is going to show the house after Thanksgiving wouldn't really take no for an answer and is probably coming by tomorrow. I worked this weekend. House still looks like a battle zone. Between packing, sorting stuff that's been thrown in boxes through four previous moves (I refuse to move boxes of shit anymore, it's all getting gone through - unless I run out of time, of course. *sigh*) the house looks like hell. It looked like hell before, too. She wants to do a walk-through to see what needs to be done to "market" the house. The carpet will need washing, lady. You'll need to do some paint touch up. What the fuck do you want? So I'm stressing the hell out that the house is not clean. Having just tried to put C to bed, I have now gotten to the "fuck everything" mode and am sitting here in the recliner trying to get the world back into perspective while J works on bedtime for the kids. They both have picked up on my stress level lately (and I have to say, having this woman come by during the week & a half/two weeks that I'm a complete emotional wreck, right before Thanksgiving, while I'm packing up my house - I just want to smack her) and have been increasingly harder to put to bed.

Speaking of stress levels, while J & I were at Publix (Where Shopping Is A Pleasure But Working Sucks) getting stuff for mom & dad, what blast from the past should we run into but our old friend S. She said she found my blog - small world. I forgot to ask her how. She looks a lot happier than the last time we saw her - leaving E-net probably helped; that place would suck the life out of Shirley Temple. I hope the men in her life are treating her better, too. And her mother, that crazy bitch. Anyway, her kids are adorable (I never got to meet her daughter, and her son has grown up) and she lives on the north side, so we'll probably run into her grocery shopping all the time once we move up there. She looks at me like on some level she wouldn't mind if I drowned, and looks at J differently, but I honestly expected that. She always had a thing for J anyway, and I pissed her off. Who knows if we'll do anything but pass in the bakery.

J's mother once again couldn't watch the kids - this time she didn't have previous plans or anything; she thought she'd contracted scabies, and was going to be disinfecting the house and getting it ready for her parents, who are coming next week for Thanksgiving. I'm just going to stop asking her. I remember when her other two grandsons lived in town - even before they were planning on moving far away, she'd take them both for the day, or they'd go to her place for sleep-overs... but she doesn't ever have time for my kids. I don't know if she's just decided she needs to take time for herself or what, but when I'm particularly stressed out and could really use the help I get cranky about it. I never thought when J & I were going to have a child that she was going to spend the most time with MY mother.

I am going to go play a mindless online game and pretend the rest of the world doesn't exist for a little while. Hope the rest of you are having fun.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

OOOOOOOF

I now understand why they call sheet rock, sheet ROCK.

DAMN that stuff is heavy.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Must...resist....urge...

my wonderful thoughtful caring husband has found yet another incredible resource for me.

I knew you could get podcasts from universities on their classes, there are lots that aren't password protected or anything. I had no idea how MANY. And I know this isn't all of them...

J said "try to keep it to THREE. The rest of them will still be there when you're done."

As I sit here, going absolutely apeshit (I clicked on one, and then went up a folder, and suddenly found myself looking at ALL OF UC BERKELEY'S PODCASTS) J looks up, amusedly concerned, and says "Should I have not given you this gift? And you did take your medicine?"

Okay. So I'm picking three. In order, so as not to get confused.

Geez, and don't even get me started on the "other things people that subscribed to this podcast also listened to" list....

Okay, bouncing off to work! :D

Things I'm doing when I should be packing

Microsoft Word suicide letter wizard? Hey, somebody out there still using Windows, try this out for me.
LED lightbulbs are on clearance!!! But wait... now there's LEC wallpaper????!!! OMG!
A Stonehenge pocketwatch? Cool, hadn't seen that before... maybe can afford it by our anniversary for ya, J
Once again, my husband has found and sent me some of the oddest, and yet incredibly beautiful, artwork. And suggested I try it out. (I guess my combination of anal-retentiveness and oddity would work well with this art form.)
Don't try this. If you get sucked into games like I do, don't try this at all, either. Damn thing can't keep up with my speed.
This is what I'm seriously considering going into politics or public administration to do something about.

AAAAAUUUUUUGGGGHHHH
I quit. I'm going to bed.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

I'm tired

I say that a lot, don't I? Well, the sleep study is next week. We'll see if sleep apnea is increasing exhaustion, or if it's just depression.

Altho I know why I'm tired today - I was up until 2:30am doing this:













for Miss Wilma's birthday at school. I left before anybody had a chance to see it, I hope the darn thing didn't fall over before anybody got to eat it...

Dad got his hearing aid this morning, and mom and I are VERY excited - evidently dad said "I think I'll like this." WOOHOO! It'll be SO NICE to be able to have conversations with him again! He'll actually be able to hear what his grandkids say. :) He went into the kitchen because he kept hearing something that sounded like water running - finally figured out it was the refrigerator - he'd never heard it before. heeheeheehee

J is at work for a meeting, and if I don't hear from him in the next 45 minutes I'm under orders to come get him, as he was feeling awful and only went in because he had to. (Honestly, I'm not feeling great either. We're all on antibiotics, hoping not to come down too badly with the raging strep that J got.) I think I have a fever. I wonder if we could talk the kids into taking a nap when we get back from getting J....


Oh, and I can't believe I didn't mention this:

BOOYAH! A giant thank you to everybody who went out and voted. As soon as everybody in the family is well, we're going to throw a party or have drinks or something.

And an idea percolating around in my brain - Bush just said last week that he wasn't replacing either Cheney or Rummy, and now Rummy's gone.... what are the odds that Cheney will go too?

Hey, a girl can dream, right?

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

WOW I'm tired.

Probably because of J's snoring. He has raging strep (bad enough that when the doc looked at it yesterday, he said "WOW!" and stepped back - said it was the worst case he'd seen, and he'd been seeing quite a few recently.) and I'm desperately trying to keep the kids (and myself) from getting it. His throat is so swollen that he keeps gagging on his uvula. (Ew.) And I'm trying to pack up my house. And clean it, because the landlord is going to start showing it. And cleaning and rearranging my parents' house, so we have someplace to move in to.

Maybe that's why I'm tired.

But I'm still going to go vote! Get yourselves out there, people!

Friday, November 03, 2006

I just had a thought

and as I think it, the hysterical laughter bubbles up inside of me...

Am browsing the news. Can't get away from the latest example of hypocrisy, Ted Haggard, and his gay-prostitute masseuse and meth distributor. Came across this blurb:

"What people may not know is that Ted Haggard is George Bush's spiritual advisor. We do know that Haggard has weekly conference calls with that great exploiter of homophobia, Karl Rove. But Colorado Springs locals say he flies to Washington several Mondays a month to pray with the president."

What if Bush is gay?

Patience in the face of history

After having an impassioned conversation with my dad the other day, I remembered the advice that my husband gave me once when I was weeping and incoherent with rage and frustration over the problems in the world. He said that change happens in very small steps. He told me to be glad that at least now we're talking about the horrible things happening; a hundred years ago most of them would have been simply accepted, if not encouraged.

I have a hard time thinking that long term. As I read headlines now, I find myself wondering what history will say about this time. Will my opinions be vindicated? Will my friend's opinions (he who supports Bush & Cheney *shudder*)? And when all is said and done, will the world have taken another incremental step forward? Will humanity be any better off?

It's things like this that keep me awake at night. Sad, huh? I mean, in addition to the normal things - bills, kids, elderly parents...

I'm now watching Christian who has found a plumbers' wrench and is "working on" pawpaw's chair. I really need to get this kid some take-apart/put-together toys. Or we're going to find our stuff dismantled.

So, things to do and places to be. BTW, Hi, Aunt Robin! I forgot to tell you that you looked really nice today.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

God help me

Justin tells me that last night Moira was lying there in bed and said to him "I'm fat." Justin was understandably shocked, and said no, no, you're not fat at all.

She's NOT EVEN FOUR. What the hell????

So I'm now going to be extra special triple careful not to say anything about myself being fat, and I'm going to tell Mom to lay off the "fat old lady" comments.

On the bright side, she just woke up to go potty. Yay! Last battle of potty training, there.

Have you seen this? I laughed so hard - come on, let's head downtown with a clipboard and a hundred dollar bill! People should be doing this all over the country, this is a trip.

And the beat goes on

Chatted with an old lover of mine today... he and his wife are trying poly, and he wanted my advice. I wished them all the best, and gave him some hard-learned lessons that hopefully they won't have to repeat. I still don't hold out much hope for it being a long-term success, though.

Forgot I was supposed to come to my parents' house today - yesterday mom stayed home and day before that I had volunteered long ago to paint faces at my daughters' school so I'd not been here since Monday - so I get this verbal bitch slap voice mail from my mother that pretty much derailed me. I'm recovering, slowly. It's making me question my sanity in deciding to live here. However, dad does need some help (case in point, he didn't quite make it to the bathroom just a little while ago) and we certainly need a chance to recoup some financial losses... there are honestly about as many reasons for as against. *sigh*


And I just remembered I have a conference with M's teacher this afternoon, so I'd better fly. Damn nonexistent personal secretary.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Remember when I said that I'd kept saying "It's not a bad day....

..... because nobody's died"? Well, I was wrong. I just didn't find out about it until today.

My friend Sarah's (who was Maid of Honor at my 1st wedding, and my best friend throughout most of high school) father (well, step-) died on her birthday last tuesday. Ken was a professor at FSU, he was smart as hell, smart-aleck, funny, patient with us... Sarah said he'd gone downhill a lot in the last year, and was just sick of it, so three weeks ago he stopped eating and drinking.

I have a hard time imagining what it's like to watch that. I get teary-eyed just thinking about it.

So, that puts my kvetching into perspective.

I'm going to go start packing and cleaning and whatnot. (Yes, we're moving again. No, I don't want to hear it.)

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Nobody died, so today was okay.

I just need to change my metrics and my days will markedly improve.

My sister-in-law has very graciously agreed to watch my little monster during my psych appt. in the morning. (As hubby is going to be at work all night until some obscene time this morning due to a catastrophic crash.)

My other sister-in-law (and her husband and two kids) will be back in town with a spiffy new job in January for him, which is way cool. All the cousins can finally play together again.

My father was not sent to the ER again. He's on IV fluids and hopefully will take this as a lesson: yes, the thick liquids are nasty. You still have to drink, or you get this dehydrated again and you'll be in trouble.

Filled out my application for readmission to FSU - depending on financial aid, I'm going back to school to finish my bachelor's degree.

Our financial situation has not gotten any worse.

My aunt is in the doughnut-hole period of medicare prescription coverage and hasn't had her antidepressants in two weeks or so - can't afford them. However, I think I might have somebody to call tomorrow that could get her some help.

My children are healthy and intelligent.

The Greek Food Festival is this weekend!!!

So how have you been?

Saturday, October 21, 2006

There's my exercise for the day

We walked down to Jr. Museum & met Aunt Logan & her boys. The neighborhood kids were playing next door, and I yelled "hey, we're going to the Junior Museum, y'all wanna come?" They were thrilled. So I finally got to use my passes! Four of them and four of us and Logan's 2 - we were a crew. It wasn't as cool as I'd hoped outside, but it wasn't bad either. I wore the wrong shoes, however, that I've not worn for months, so my feet are killing me. Pulled the kids around the park in the wagon that Logan has let us have for an extended period of time - it was hysterical, evidently the animals get fed by people pulling around red wagons, because the turkeys chased us all around the deer walk - some of them even got airborne! - and the otters followed us the whole way across, standing up on their back legs and looking through the low peep windows.

I've decided that if we're this broke the heck with it, I'll apply for financial aid and see if I can go back to school. J & I can repeat family history and go live in Alumni Village!

Hey, by the way - 3 bedroom 2 bath in Killearn Acres - make offer. Spread the news.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

As I sit in the hospital

CNN is on the television. Bleah.

Dad seems to be doing amazingly well, considering he's had a stroke. His right side is weak, but still functional. There doesn't seem to be any cognitive loss - he's a bit more emotional, but hell, who wouldn't be? The trouble swallowing is probably the worst result - at the moment he can't drink anything but nectar-thick liquids (and I can't imagine what nectar-thick coffee is like, ew) and is eating a pureed diet.

So, looking at him, you'd never know he's had a stroke. Dad is made of iron. I hope I've inherited that toughness...

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Frustration levels rising

If I get stressed out enough, is it possible that I might explode?

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Update if anybody cares

Consultation with another doctor has sent dad back to the hospital. He's been waiting in central registration for a few hours now, and mom says they've been told there's a bed available in 5 minutes. This doctor thinks dad has had a stroke. His continued weakness, especially on right side, tends to back that up. The clear CT scan from the ER puzzles me, however. Oh well, I'm not a doctor.

My eye is better, thanks. It's not swollen shut today, which is nice - it's really hard to drive around when your good eye isn't available. Everything's blurry and not as far away as you think it is.

Today, like the last week or so, has been a day of either doing TWENTY THINGS AT ONCE or falling into a chair and passing out - and before falling asleep thinking "aren't I supposed to be doing something? Wasn't I in the middle of something?..."

Hopefully tonight I will get some decent sleep.

Gotta go pack stuff up for mom at the hospital - now where did I put that list down?....

Monday, October 09, 2006

if any of you out there pray

Please keep my dad in your thoughts. He's been sent to the hospital with the possible symptoms of a stroke.


***UPDATE***
It's a little after midnight and I've just gotten home from the hospital. The doctor thinks dad had a TIA (Transient Ischemic Attack), as the tests have come back clean. This means dad is much more likely to have a real stroke in the next year, which is unpleasant, but there shouldn't be any long term bad effects from this episode, which is good.

In a truth-is-stranger-than-fiction moment, as we happened to be taken into the back of the ER to wait in a bed next to the wall, I see my brother-in-law the cop. :) It was wonderful timing, as I started to break down at that point watching my father FALL APART. I have NEVER seen my father cry like that. Mom was telling the doctor that in 33 years of marriage she'd never seen him like this. Mike gave me a much needed hug, and talking to him helped me get myself back under control. I think having a man in uniform asking the nurse if they were aware that we were concerned dad was HAVING A STROKE got us faster attention than might have otherwise appeared. (Since at that point dad had been waiting in the ER waiting room for 3 hours.) And although I'm not a religious person, I got teary eyed when right before he left he asked dad if he could pray with him. Dad being an old-school baptist, I'm sure it meant a lot to him too.

And totally unrelated to anything, I have conjunctivitis. *sigh*

Sunday, October 08, 2006

In discussing porn

J & I were lying here discussing what we do & don't find sexy, and I realized part way into the conversation that we were talking exclusively about pictures of girls. So out of curiousity, I'm flipping through "sexiest men alive" webpages to see if there are pictures of guys that would do it for me - most male porn stars are hired for the length of their schlongs, which does nothing for me (if I wanted to see a foot long penis, I'd go to a barnyard, thanks) and they look, well, like dogs. I'm wondering how many of the famous men have naked shots the way most famous women seem to now...

So I'm making a list of who I find attractive, and I'll go from there.
Antonio Banderas. (NICE ASS)
Johnny Depp
Alan Rickman
Vince Vaughn isn't bad
Daniel Craig has possibilities
Dougray Scott, but I've not seen him in much
Val Kilmer, although I think he's a little hit or miss
Clive Owen (definitely; I thought he was sexy looong ago)
Brad Pitt is hit or miss for me
George Clooney, but I'm not sure how much of that is mental
oooo, Jake Gyllenhaal...
Heath Ledger isn't bad either
Orlando Bloom
Ethan Hawke (whatever happened to him?)
Russell Crowe very rarely does it for me
Benjamin Bratt
Duh, how could I forget Pierce Brosnan?
I used to find Bruce Willis adorable in Moonlighting, but it's been a while...
Jerry O'Connell
Tim Curry
John Travolta is more of an "awe, he's cute" occasionally
when Mel Gibson - or I - was a little younger, I think I liked him... hard to remember now
Matt Damon
Keanu Reeves has his moments, but I always worry that he's a moron, and stupidity turns me off
Occasionally Denzel Washington pops up on my radar
Matthew McConaughey has a few times that I've gone ooo, but isn't consistent
Christian Bale
Hugh Grant has something that makes me look twice, but after that, I'm not sure I want to keep looking...
Stuart Townsend as Dorian Grey was sexy, but I've not found him attractive otherwise...
Eric McCormack
Sting (how could I forget?)
Sean Bean
I like Hugh Jackman in his wolverine makeup, does that count?
maybe one out of a hundred Leonardo DiCaprio pictures look good to me
I think of Sean Connery it's the voice I find sexy
Elijah Wood (ooooo)
Ben Affleck comes & goes
Tobey Maguire
Mark Ruffalo isn't bad
Ewan McGregor
Viggo Mortensen (or did I just get wrapped up in Middle Earth? But no, he writes poetry!)
Joseph Fiennes
Harrison Ford
Ralph Fiennes
many years ago, maybe Tom Hanks? Nah.
John Cusack


My list is already much longer than I was anticipating. I'm going to bed.

What an absolutely lovely day...

J had the brilliant idea to go down to the ocean today. We originally went down to Mashes Sands. Saw horseshoe crabs mating, how cool! However, the water was pretty full of stuff and once I got down there I kinda wanted to actually get in... so we drove down and said "what the hey" and ended up on St. George Island. Absolutely perfect weather, gorgeous water, J saw the largest stingray ever... other than the new bathroom buildings, which SUCK, it was wonderful. We came out of the water hungry enough to eat entire horses, and drove over to Apalachicola... asked a local for a good seafood restaurant that wouldn't break the bank nor quibble over our appearance (rather sandy & bedraggled by that point) and he sent us to Papa Joe's.

I ate the BEST OYSTERS EVER tonight. EVER. I can't wait to go back. The cheese grits were to die for. The hushpuppies, wow! The shrimp & grouper were great too. So heads-up to any of you in the area - check them out. Decent prices and seafood fresh enough it practically slaps you.

On the drive home, the kids fell asleep in the backseat, J & I got to flip around the dial listening to music, and the full moon rose reddish orange, then yellow, then white, shining its path on the water as we drove by. All in all, a beautiful, very restful day. I didn't stress out about anything, it was great. Maybe we'll do this more often! :)

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

This is amazing

I'm watching Bill Moyers' On America right now, about the Abramoff scandal - it is doing a LOVELY job of explaining things, and holy cow what a bunch of crooks. Take a look.

Monday, October 02, 2006

My mental voice to myself sounds a lot like this guy writes

"And I think to myself, "holy shit. That's it. This is the conversation that led to the August 6 PDB being put in print. The C.I.A. was literally covering their ass and for damn good reason (not that it did them any good) as the president remarked so caustically to his briefer down on the ranch. They had a pretty damn good idea what was coming and therefore put it into print and sent a briefer down to the ranch. "

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Thanks, I needed a laugh

  1. After reading about how the EPA is closing down its libraries, people defending Mark Foley and the actions of his party, Tom Coburn's refusal to allow the Breast Cancer Environmental Research Act come to a vote because "we're spending enough money on breast cancer" (even though enough women die from breast cancer to account for the equivalent of 13 September 11th attacks a year), the House of Representatives has now made it more difficult to attempt lawsuits challenging unconstitutional government actions advancing religion, the teacher who I believe has been fired for showing her students nudity in a museum (!!OMG!) I came across this.

The phone calls I get...

My aunt left me a message today. She said she wanted to install some software she had just gotten, and in attempting to follow the instructions that say "please make sure all other programs are closed" she wanted to know if that meant windows, too, and if so, how did she close windows? It automatically opened every time she started the computer up.

*sigh*

Is there a resource for people this illiterate? I mean, where can I send her, besides me? Because it's been years that I've been getting questions like this one (how do I save attachments, where did my attachments from AOL save to, I did so and so last time but this time it's not working, how do I save a file, how do I save a picture, how do I cut and paste, I know you already explained this to me once but can you tell me one more time) and I've been running perilously close to the FUCK ALL OF YOU edge for the last year or so and it's getting worse daily. I wonder if computers for dummies comes in an audiobook...

And don't get me started on the questions that mom asks J, which are slightly less idiotic.

That's funny, I keep asking this question too

A quote:

from a radio address he (President Bush) made just a few weeks ago:
The security of the civilized world depends on victory in the war on terror, and that depends on victory in Iraq.

The security of the civilized world! I'd say that's pretty important, so the President must be giving our military every possible resource to accomplish its goal, right? Even if it involves calling for sacrifice, perhaps suspending tax breaks for the wealthiest 1% of America, or encouraging big business to pitch in to the war effort, or simply publicly asking Americans to join the military? Since I don't see any of that happening, I guess our troops have must everything they need. Wait . . . they don't? They don't??
The pressures that the conflict in Iraq is putting on the Army are apparent amid the towering pine trees of southeast Georgia, where the Third Infantry Division is preparing for the likelihood that it will go back to Iraq for a third tour. Col. Tom James, who commands the division’s Second Brigade, acknowledged that his unit's equipment levels had fallen so low that it now had no tanks or other armored vehicles to use in training and that his soldiers were rated as largely untrained in attack and defense.




So between not training them in the first place, and then not funding their health care, I'm amazed my ex-armed forces friend (or anybody else) still thinks this president isn't a retarded sycophant.

Happy October

We spent our evening at a birthday party at the home of a man who has his own fricking wikipedia entry.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Good news

J's biopsy results were clean, it's not malignant. WHEW. Because it's slightly odd that a male of his age has this growth (evidently if he were a girl, growths near/on the thyroid like this would be typical, which is weird to me) they're going to check him every six months to make sure it's not doing anything funky.

So now that little core of stress that I'd buried deep enough to not realize it was still there is dissolving.

Were I not a mother of two with responsibilities, I think I'd probably go out drinking with my husband tonight. Maybe this Saturday when the kids are at brammah's...

Monday, September 25, 2006

Another article by RFK Jr.

So, Princeton has created a hack & shown how easy it is.... there has been analysis from Johns Hopkins and Rice universities which came to this conclusion: "This voting system is far below even the most minimal security standards applicable in other contexts," the scientists concluded. It was, in fact, "unsuitable for use in a general election.".... a report by Science Applications International Corporation that said (even tho SAIC was part of an industry group that promotes electronic voting machines) that Diebold's machines were "at high risk of compromise"... RABA Technologies (commissioned by Maryland Legislature) "discovered a major flaw: Diebold had built what are known as "back doors" into the software that could enable a hacker to hide an unauthorized and malicious code in the system"..... "William Arbaugh, of the University of Maryland, gave the Diebold system an "F" with "the possibility of raising it to a 'C' with extra credit - that is, if they follow the recommendations we gave them.""..... a division of Homeland Security, the U.S. Computer Emergency Readiness Team released a tiny security bulletin that stated "A vulnerability exists due to an undocumented backdoor account," the alert warned, adding, this could allow "a malicious user [to] modify votes.".... a report by the Brennan Center for Justice (peer reviewed by the National Institute of Standards and Technology) concluded "Electronic voting machines widely adopted since 2000, "pose a real danger to the integrity of national, state and local elections."... heck, a report by the Government Accountability Office talked about how crappy the voting machines are! (reports GAO-04-766T, GAO-04-975T, GAO-05-956)

Okay, so given all that, I'm still getting emails like this:

"If all you have been reading and listening to has been media-generated...my advice, in this election year, is to be ruthlessly skeptical. I too have been reading and listening - more than a little comes from folks actually "there" in the markets, in the areas of foreign conflict and international events, in the political analysis/impacts business, I read newspapers and websites not just published in and by USA publishers but also in and by Germans and Brits and Danes, and a LOT of just raw numbers like earnings reports and where the money is and where the money is going (US and European and Taiwanese banks and markets) and which COngressional bills get passed and which ones don't...things like that, IN ADDITION TO , The Democrat, the WSJ, magazines, MSNBC, Fox, CNBC, network news, and a variety of websites and blogs.

Yes I do still support this administration. I spent last Saturday in fact personally helping "get out the vote" as part of a call-bank effort. This administration is not perfect by a long shot, but I find it's still worthy of respect and support, especially as opposed to the other choices currently vying for replacing them. The Leftists and Bush-hating Rantiacs offer plenty of scorn, but they're a bit short on solutions, plans, and foolishly naive about world history and world events - and astonishingly fast and loose with their assertions of "facts". Senator Lieberman is the only Democrat I can think of at the moment that I can genuinely admire. The only one - and that in itself is deeply scary. Of course, the Republican camp doesn;t have a long list of admirable people either - but there are a few - including the President and Vice-President.

The whole situation has me deeply concerned. "We" are (remember it's an election cycle), I think, so gripped up in screaming and pissing over who's going to be "in charge" that we are not paying adequate attention to "in charge of what?" and I am completely convinced that the Democrat Party will say and do anything to regain power - lie, cheat, steal, kill, enslave, sell their damn souls - the bare-knuckle contest is both disgusting and terrifying. This has a direct impact on me personally as a taxpayer, an investor trying to save something for retirement, and a citizen who does not feel as "safe" as I did even a couple of years ago. Idealism aside, and admitting politics is and always has been a Blood Sport, even so - I understand and appreciate some of what else is going on in the country and the world, and the radical deconstructionism and pretentious foolishness of the Left scares the heebie-jeebies out of me.

I have recently read a couple of recently published books on Islamic history, and 20th century world history, because I felt I needed a "refresher" from when I worked in the offshore subject and the geography 25 years ago. The historians I chose don't seem to be writing with a grind or an agenda - if you'd like to borrow/read let me know - it might make for some good analytical chats with you about what the history of events means for us now. There are certainly some clearly repeating patterns in human events and human conduct...that human horror is so repititous still bewilders me, but the pattern and the reasons are there for anyone to see that takes the time to look. I just don't want to be on the next train to Dachau..."

And it's the DEMOCRATS who will do anything to maintain power? I hadn't noticed that they had a whole lot of power lately. I mean, yes, to a large extent all the politicians in Washington would rather have the status-quo than have us grass roots people throw them all out and institute some real changes, but give me a break!

This guy has bought into the clash of civilizations bullshit - and given his history, I can understand his biases. He fails, however, to even contemplate human psychology as it ties into international politics - I don't understand how to explain to an otherwise intelligent human being that yes, the United States' policies overseas have in many cases been AWFUL for other people, (and sometimes not all that great for us, even) and there is a lot of JUSTIFIED anger at us. If we really wanted to do something about terrorism, we'd be working on eliminating the anger that drives so many of them.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that there wouldn't always be nutjobs out there that want to blow shit up - heck, look at Oklahoma City - they were home-grown, not islamic fundamentalists. There are still christian fundamentalists who want to blow things up. Some of them do. (Abortion clinics, anyone?) But what this gung-ho jock (and many like him in the government) don't seem to understand is that by going over there and shooting people, you are just digging a bigger hole. In a war there is always collateral damage, right? Well, in a war like this, you have a large percentage of friends and family of that 'collateral damage' deciding that maybe their fundamentalist friends have it right - that the U.S. really is invading to stay, that it's a religious war, and they have nothing left to lose - so what the hell, let's strap bombs to ourselves and walk up to an american GI. Or, even easier, not report the many people who are bombing - it requires nothing but apathy, which is easy to come by when your country has been destroyed, your job evaporated, your loved ones killed...

ARGH!

Saturday, September 23, 2006

I'm going to miss cable

I think it's going to get cut off tomorrow, and I'm going to miss a few things. Olbermann, Jon Stewart, Steven Colbert...

wow, that makes me a raging lefty, doesn't it. ;)

As I watch Olbermann interview former President Clinton, it reminds me of a bumpersticker I saw a while back that I think I'd like to get: "I miss Bill"

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

just wanted to share this

The Sad State of Atheism Today

RJ Eskow

Roll over Carl Sagan, and tell Voltaire the news: Some of today's atheist spokesmen have hijacked its noble intellectual tradition in favor of flawed logic, appeals to bigotry, and a deliberate refusal to study the facts before forming an opinion. You don't have to look any further than the Huffington Post for evidence of atheism's moral and intellectual decline.

I spent some time this afternoon debating Gary Bauer and Sean Hannity on the Hannity show, on the topic of prejudice against Muslims among Christians in the West. Now I'm spending the evening writing about prejudice against Muslims by self-described "progressive" atheists.

Finally, there's common ground between these two groups: they both kick Muslims around, and they both disagree with me! (And they say miracles don't happen ...)

Marty Kaplan does a fine job deconstructing Sam Harris' latest screed. Harris is now ready to pimp GOP talking points in order to make his case. My God (oops - sorry!), is there nothing this man won't say to advance himself and his fundamentalist strain of atheism?

I met Sam when we both participated in a group seminar on faith and progressive politics. He seemed pleasant enough, but when I cited the exhaustive works of research that have been conducted on fundamentalism in Islam and other religions he pointedly refused either to discuss them - or even to express willingness to look at them.

How can anyone argue for the virtue of knowledge and reason over faith and emotion, yet refuse to either examine the data or subject one's own arguments to logical challenge?

Specifically, Harris would not acknowledge the research of Martin E. Marty and the Fundamentalism Project, whose complex multidisciplinary study found several intriguing patterns in the distribution of fundamentalism throughout all faiths.

Among the Project's findings was the discovery that fundamentalists, who average roughly 20% of any major faith today, all seek to acquire power using similar techniques and belief systems. Their beliefs share much more in common with fundamentalists of other faiths than they do with their co-religionists, a finding that challenges the notion that Islam is an especially evil religion.

This finding challenges an assumption that is deeply cherished by Harris and his ilk, and equally beloved by Bauer and the Christian Right: that Muslims are more extremist than other people. That makes great fodder for recruiting wavering Christians to atheism, or convincing Americans who question the Iraq invasion that we're at war with a world of "Islamofascists."

Besides being willing to do Karl Rove's dirty work, the Harris crowd revels in using anti-Muslim bigotry to promote their conception of atheism. Bertrand Russell would no doubt be appalled at their faulty reasoning, their disinterest in acquiring new knowledge, and their unwillingness to engage in reasonable debate.

Nothing would disappoint Russell more, however, than their calculated appeals to bigotry. Russell, the foremost atheist of his time, was a tireless campaigner for peace and for the dignity of all peoples and faiths. Comparing Russell and Harris is like comparing Martin Luther King and Jerry Falwell.

I'm a person of faith who has no problem reconciling reason and knowledge with my form of belief - but then, I don't believe the way fundamentalists do. I don't believe in the kind of God who is a superpowerful person, or a "being " in the literal sense. Yet I've met Jews, Christians, and Muslims who believe as I do, and I've learned from all of them.

My "Higher Power's" relationship to this universe is not that of a dictator and his subject. It's more like the relationship between a beautiful piece of music and the notes of the song. But even those who believe in a more literal God vary in their forms of belief, as this study explains.

How can atheists work with people of faith to create a better society if they won't even read and learn about their fellow human beings? Yet some still refuse, because knowledge might interfere with their own cherished beliefs - not to mention their sales pitch.

If previous posts on this topic are any indication, I'm about to be flooded with a wave of bitter, harsh, and personal comments - about my beliefs, the absurdity of Christianity, and the vile nature of Muslims. This, from the "pro-rationality" crowd.

And speaking of illogic and bias ...

Here's Martin Lewis on Islam: "When was the last time agnostics or atheists got offended and went on the rampage when someone trashed - or even questioned - their beliefs?"

You could've said the same thing about blacks after the Los Angeles riots, couldn't you? "When was the last time white people got offended and went on the rampage when someone got let off for a crime against them?"

I'm not defending rioters. I'm simply pointing out some inherent biases in the comment. Ultra-Orthodox Jews have rioted in Israel, and one of them killed the peacemaking Prime Minister. Christians have rioted, too. People tend to riot because they feel powerless, not because they're inherently evil. (Killing's another matter - it's always indefensible.)

And less than one Muslim in 43,000 has ever participated in a riot. Far more Americans have been child molesters, percentage-wise, yet it would be bigotry to say we live in a nation of pederasts.

I don't know if Martin's an atheist or not, but this is a favorite trick of Harris's - to make insinuations that only Muslims have engaged in this sort of behavior. It smacks of piling on to a hate-fest against a persecuted minority in the west. A study released today showed a 30% increase in anti-Muslim hate crimes in the U.S. between 2004 and 2005. Is this really the kind of misinformation we want to keep spreading?

This piece is particularly disappointing to me, given Martin's moving reflection on 9/11 and Cat Stevens. I'm a longtime admirer of Martin's work, and therefore that much sorrier to see him engage in this kind of rhetoric.

Martin, check out this video of hardliner Communists rioting in Russia in 1993. (Note: the video's accompanied by loud Russian punk music.) They're angry because the new government is dismantling their treasured system. Every single one of these rioters is an avowed atheist.

"But," some will say, "they're not rioting because they're atheists. They're rioting because they have other grievances, or because that's what people do over there when they're unhappy -- or maybe just because they're difficult people."

Right. Same with Muslims. Despite what the haters say, belief in forced conversions and the like is not intrinsic to Islam. Neither is terrorism or rioting. Those behaviors are based on other beliefs, issues, and motivations. Just as with Christians, or Jews, or other groups.

Harris' variation on this theme is to describe somebody about to blow up a roomful of innocent people, then asking you to guess their probable religion. "Muslim" is the expected answer - one that's accurate today. Thirty years ago, however, the answer would have been "atheist," because most terrorists were Communist members of the Red Army Faction and the Baader Meinhof gang.

Sixty-plus years ago the answer might have been "Jewish," during the days of the Stern Gang in Palestine. Even today, the answer could also be "Christian," since Christians have blown up the Federal Building in Oklahoma City and abortion clinics. (Some say the anthrax terror hunt came too close to the extreme right and that's why the Administration dropped it - although, to be fair to them, they couldn't catch Bin Laden either.)

I haven't changed my opinion since I wrote "The Evangelical Atheists." I respect atheists and will passionately defend their rights, even though some of them belittle and distort my own beliefs in return. The Harris-variety atheist can't - or won't - distinguish between believers in a "Daddy God," those for whom God represents the underlying beauty and music of the universe, or anyone in between. If they did, they might have to acknowledge that theirs isn't the only position for intelligent people to take.

The enemy isn't Islam or Christianity or Judaism or atheism -- it's fundamentalism, those rigid believers who over-identify with a "religion" and authoritarianism, not with the Transcendent or a belief system. That identification makes them want to impose their beliefs on others by force or bullying. I put the Evangelical Atheists into that category.

There are still brilliant and compelling atheist thinkers, like Daniel Dennett and Michael Schermer. I don't agree with them, but I feel we could have a civil and stimulating discussion.

(I'm not a big fan of Richard Dawkins' harsh brand of evangelism, however - and the "Selfish Gene" idea strikes me as rank anthropomorphism, like the filmstrips called "Your Friend The Atom" we watched as schoolkids in the 50's and 60's.)

"Those who can make you believe in absurdities can make you commit atrocities," said Voltaire. That's as concise and brilliant a condemnation of extremism as has ever been written. Think, challenge, discover, say the Buddhists, the Sufis, the Vedantist Hindus, the enlightened Christians and Jews.

"There shall be no compulsion in religion," says the Quran. Some Muslims have forgotten that injunction, just as some atheists have forgotten what Bertrand Russell said: "I shouldn't wish people dogmatically to believe any philosophy, not even mine. "

Sam Harris apparently aspires to be the Rick Warren of atheism. If he's the best representative atheists can find, God help them.

Monday, September 18, 2006

had the weirdest dream last night...

Dreamt I was a flower girl in a wedding on Halloween for some woman who was a friend of Jon Stewart's. In the dream I was 10, 12.

Here's a good read: What to talk about when you talk about Iraq. It answers some of the questions I'd been wondering how to answer, and very succinctly, too. Think any of the Dems will start using it?

Friday, September 15, 2006

Yes, I'm reading when I should be working

Good news from Chile:
Any teenage girl over the age of 14 will now be able to directly ask her doctor for a prescription for birth control, without authorisation from her parents, and the contraceptives must be provided free of charge by the public health system.

The new decree complies with the sexual and reproductive rights approved at the 1994 United Nations International Conference on Population and Development in Cairo.

The most controversial aspect of the Health Ministry decree is that it not only covers traditional birth control methods, but also emergency contraception, which up to now was only available free of charge in cases of rape, although it was available by prescription in the country’s pharmacies.

Although it is popularly known as "the morning after pill", emergency contraception can be taken up to five days (120 hours) after unprotected intercourse. The pill works by providing high levels of synthetic hormones, which interfere with ovulation and change the lining of the uterus, significantly reducing the likelihood of pregnancy.

The World Health Organisation (WHO) clarifies that emergency contraception is "not effective once the process of implantation has begun, and will not cause abortion."

But archbishop of Santiago Francisco Javier Errázuriz said the decision by the centre-left government was a blow to marriage, the birth rate, and the Chilean family.

A response from a blogger I occasionally read:
I never cease to be startled by men who openly state that if women have a choice to delay childbirth or limit their family size, that’s it for marriage and babies. In other words, they’re openly stating that they fear that if women aren’t forced into this life, they will never choose men and babies for themselves.

She then mentions how schitzo our attitude towards sexuality is in this country, and points out this article in Salon, which is no surprise to me but still makes me a little ill, here's a quote:
But have you seen these Bratz dolls and their provocative underwear sets? These little pink and purple numbers include padded "bralettes" to better enhance your 6-year-old's cleavage. According to a piece in Saturday's Australian Herald Sun, these sets are for girls who are 6 and 7 years old. That's kindergarten, first grade, second grade, folks. And don't let the diminutive "bralette" fool you. These are brassieres. For Broadsheet readers who may not have experience with this: Girls that age do not typically wear bras. At all. Because they do not have breasts. Because they are children.

A spokeswoman from Bratz distributor Funtastic told the Herald Sun that the notion that the bras might sexualize children was silly. "The idea of the padding is for girls to be discreet as they develop ... It is more about hiding what you have got than showing it off." A Target spokesperson likewise argued that the padded bras "give girls modesty and style as they go through development changes." The message is that everyone should calm down: No one's trying to make your little girls voluptuous by selling them padded bras. They're just trying to make them feel shame about their bodies six years before puberty!



On a totally unrelated note, wasn't it Marx that said something about religion being the opiate of the masses? Maybe we could update it and say today's religion is the whiskey of the populace... check this out:

Gruber and Hungerman found that when states eliminated blue laws, church attendance declined while drinking and drug use increased significantly among young adults. Even more striking, the biggest change in bad behavior mostly occurred among those who frequently attended religious services, they report in a working paper published by the National Bureau of Economic Research, "The Church vs. the Mall: What Happens When Religion Faces Increased Secular Competition?"

..... Before the shopping ban was lifted, about 37 percent of people in a state on average attended religious services at least weekly, Hungerman said. "After the laws are repealed it falls to 32 percent" -- a drop "not driven by declines in religiosity prior to the law change."

Instead of going to church, many of the faithful apparently were going astray. Marijuana use increased by 11 percentage points among church attendees, compared with those who never went to services, after the shopping ban was lifted. Cocaine use increased by nearly 4 percentage points, and heavy drinking increased by about 5 1/2 percentage points among churchgoers compared with those who never went to services, with frequent attendees even more likely to go on benders.



Well, I guess this is what happens when you use external things to replace your will, or self esteem, or rational view of the world, or whatever. Take away the external thing, and poof! I guess that's why right wingers are always trying to legislate morality - because they know that if their followers don't have somebody on the outside telling them what to do, that they'll go nuts.


I've watched the Princeton movie based on their study showing how they hacked a Diebold voting machine. I don't understand why we don't use what we've used here in Leon County - bubble scans. It's good enough for your SAT, isn't it? Heh. Anyway, they're very simple, and by their very nature there is a paper trail. And if you have halfway intelligent poll workers who can catch problems (like the dumbass voter filled in two bubbles rather than just one, or whatever) then there's no issue. Why is this even discussed? ARGH!!


And again, I say, we'll be in Iran by the end of 2007. Podhoretz thinks so, as does Krauthammer. I'm trying to figure out who was beating the drums before Iraq to see if they're saying the same things now about Iran. *sigh*

Woooohoooo!

I hope this is the beginning of them taking the gloves off, so to speak:


Landrieu:

"In light of the rantings that went on for 30 minutes by two colleagues from the other side, I'd like to state for the record that America is not tired of fighting terrorism; America is tired of the wrongheaded and boneheaded leadership of the Republican party that has sent six and a half billion a month to Iraq while the front line was Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. That led this country to attack Saddam Hussein, when we were attacked by Osama bin Laden. Who captured a man who did not attack the country and let loose a man that did. Americans are tired of boneheaded Republican leadership that alienates our allies when we need them the most. Americans are most certainly tired of leadership that despite documenting mistake after mistake after mistake, even of their own party admitting mistakes, never admit they do anything wrong. That's the kind of leadership Americans are tired of."

She concluded,

"I'm not going to sit here as a Democrat and let the Republican leadership come to the floor and talk about Democrats not making us safe. They're the ones in charge and Osama bin Laden is still at loose."

Thursday, September 14, 2006

So many things to read...

There are over four hundred items in my newsfire thing, with more being added every few minutes. There are some amazingly intelligent people out there blogging about politics. (There are some mind blowingly stupid ones too, of course. Bell curve, and all that.) During the 9/11 media blitz bullshit, one of the things I heard was on the Diane Rehm show, asking people how their lives had changed since the attack. I was thinking about it - I've become more political, more politically active. Hardly a week goes by that I'm not emailing somebody about something. (I have my congressman's number in my phone memory, how's that.) I've always been a registered independent, but I'm actually thinking of changing that now. While I still think the two party system is flawed and crappy, it's what we've got right now, and if I stand on the outside saying "hey, it would be better to do it THIS WAY" but don't actually get in and work with the current system to make a difference... that's less than helpful. (And besides, I'm tired of not being able to vote in the primaries, dammit. Unless I move to Wisconsin or something, I'm pretty much out of luck there.)

I have to say, tho, Bush's administration has made it easier to become more politically active. I've never become so incensed so frequently. If I didn't spew about it here, my head would have exploded by now. So the links I put here the other day are just a tiny example of the stuff I skim on a pretty much daily basis. If anybody's interested in the list of what I read, don't hesitate to ask. There's some great stuff out there. At some point I'll finally have my website back up with all the

OH MY GOD IS THAT ACTUALLY THE HUNGARIAN AMBASSADOR?

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Linkfest continued

I wonder if I can get this in a poster?

I bet this has a whole lot less inaacuracies than the ABC crapu-drama that just aired. Wonder if anybody in town wants to set up a viewing.

I need to keep this link available the next time I bother trying to talk to MB about the idiocy of this war. (I've been tempted to email him and ask if he's heard more from his "friends on the inside; those guys who are still in the business"... but I can't keep myself from making snarky comments, and besides, if in the last conversation all he could respond with is that I didn't know enough to converse with him about the topic, then fuck him. That still makes me angry.)

Hey, those of you who own a TiVO or DVR or whatnot? Please consider this as a great way to give feedback to ABC if you're as cranky as I am. This list is a little more complicated, but still has some things that the uber-busy mensch can fit into their day of trying not to fall under the wheels.

Saw this quote today from an older article:
... the national-security choice for ordinary Americans in the post-September 11th era is... "Who's going to keep me from getting blown up by terrorists?" And that's the question Dubya makes sure to answer clearly (... "defeat the terrorists abroad so we don't have to face them here at home").
Yes, it's bullshit, but at least he's answering the core question in a way that phrases like "liberal internationalism" never will.
So, my advice to my fellow Democrats is this: Stop trying to articulate a progressive foreign policy vision. Instead, tell Americans why Dubya's foreign policy is going to get them blown up, and what we need to do to prevent that.
That still does seem to be the issue. Trying to explain nuances of international policy and the psychology of human beings to some people seems to be a lot like teaching a pig to sing.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Linkfest

I wish I'd learned better how to knit before Megan moved north. I'm going to have to save these instructions for later.

Wasn't there a website like this that let you do church signs? If not, we should make one.

This makes my month. It's things like this that change the world a few people at a time. The guys are now reading rather than comparing dick lengths - progress!

This is disturbing in an amusing way. Think we're heading here?

I'm not sure why, but this made me think of my bro-in-law Monster...

I'd love to see a brain scan of President Bush to see if it's similar to what's talked about in this article.

I treasure articles like these that still make me laugh - even if it's a sick, tired kind of laugh - about the insanity going on in our government.

This just amazed me.

More to come, I have about a hundred tabs open in firefox. (That might be why my poor iBook is running slowly...)

Friday, September 08, 2006

Note to self: Books to read when I'm not drowning in life and have brain cells to spare:

Insurgency and Counter-Insurgency by Ahmed Hashim
Conservatives Without Conscience by John Dean
The One Percent Doctrine by Ron Suskind
The Price of Loyalty by Ron Suskind
Chain of Command: The Road from 9/11 to Abu Ghraib by Seymour M. Hersh
The Politics of Truth: A Diplomat's Memoir by Joseph Wilson
Imperial Hubris: Why the West is Losing the War on Terror by Michael Scheuer
Through Our Enemies' Eyes: Osama Bin Laden, Radical Islam & The Future of America by Michael Scheuer
What Liberal Media? The Truth About Bias and the News by Eric Alterman
The Professors: The 101 Most Dangerous Academics in America by David Horowitz
Machiavelli on Modern Leadership: Why Machiavelli's Iron Rules are as Timely and Important Today as Five Centuries Ago by Michael Ledeen
Freedom Betrayed: How America Led a Global Democratic Revolution, Won the Cold War and Walked Away by Michael Ledeen
The Bush-Haters Handbook: A Guide to the Most Appalling Presidency of the Past 100 Years by Jack Huberman
Articles of Impeachment Against George W. Bush by The Center for Constitutional Rights
Losing America: Confronting a Reckless and Dangerous Presidency by Senator Robert Byrd
Crimes Against Nature: How George W. Bush and His Corporate Pals are Plundering the Country and Hijacking our Democracy by Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
An Inconvenient Truth by Al Gore
Take Back the Right: How the Neocons and the Religious Right Have Hijacked the Conservative Movement by Philip Gold
After the Neocons by Francis Fukuyama
America at the Crossroads: Democracy, Power, and the Neoconservative Legacy by Francis Fukuyama
Rise of the Vulcans: The History of Bush's War Cabinet by Jim & James Mann

And for my kids: Is There Really a Human Race? by Jamie Lee Curtis


there are many more. Maybe I'll add them as I think of them. (that "people who bought this book also looked at this one" link at amazon is dangerous)

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Things I wanted to share that I've found lately...

From Crooks & Liars:

Let’s play a game of "Name That Representative"

In August of 1966, a young Republican Congressman from Illinois gave a lengthy speech about the need for Congressional oversight over Vietnam war related contracts.

This congressman insisted that only "an investigating committee to be controlled by the minority, can assure vigorous investigation . . ."

By the way, the company that had obtained the contracts that this congressman railed against was Brown and Root - which later became Kellogg, Brown and Root, the subsidiary of Halliburton that is now the largest contractor in Iraq.

Facing South :

As a Republican congressman from Illinois in 1966, [he] raised questions about the 30-year association between Halliburton’s chairman and then-president Lyndon Johnson. "Why this huge contract has not been and is not now being adequately audited is beyond me," [he] said. "The potential for waste and profiteering under such a contract is substantial."

The name of that Congressman questioning long term relationships with war profiteers and demanding minority party oversight?

DONALD RUMSFELD

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From A Tiny Revolution:

Two Disney Movies, Two Titles Containing "9/11," Two Strangely Different Outcomes

Why is the U.S. media such an eternal catastrophe? My standard explanation is that 99% of the disaster can be explained by the fact the media is (mostly) giant corporations, required by law to make as much money as possible. No conspiracy is required.

But...maybe I need to revise the 99% estimate downward:

ABC, after exploring all advertising avenues, has decided to show its upcoming two-part U.S. film, "The Path to 9/11," commercial-free when it airs next week...

In yet another surprise move, ABC has revealed it will also offer both parts of the film as a free online download at Apple's iTunes Music Store and stream the miniseries on its own Web site, ABC.com.

So..."The Path to 9/11" cost $30 million and was written and directed by conservative ideologues. Factually speaking, it's predictably craptastic. And yet Disney is glad to lose at least $30 million on it.

By contrast, this was Disney's treatment of another political movie—one that eventually grossed over $200 million:

The Walt Disney Company is blocking its Miramax division from distributing a new documentary by Michael Moore that harshly criticizes President Bush, executives at both Disney and Miramax said Tuesday...

A senior Disney executive elaborated that the company had the right to quash Miramax's distribution of films if it deemed their distribution to be against the interests of the company. The executive said Mr. Moore's film is deemed to be against Disney's interests not because of the company's business dealings with the government but because Disney caters to families of all political stripes and believes Mr. Moore's film, which does not have a release date, could alienate many.

''It's not in the interest of any major corporation to be dragged into a highly charged partisan political battle,'' this executive said.

So, right wing movie: Disney happily loses $30 million by running directly into a "highly charged partisan political battle."

Left-wing movie: Disney refuses to make gigantic amounts of money because they're so very scared they'll "alienate many."

Hmm. This would almost make me believe the media is conservative rather than liberal. Thank god we got the dispensation on this one that allows us to ignore all evidence forever.

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From The Agonist:
The Reconstruction of New Orleans vs. the Reconstruction of Lebanon

Immediately after the war in Lebanon ended, I predicted that Hezbollah would do a better job rebuilding southern Lebanon than the US government (federal, state and municipal) had done with New Orleans. Joyce Chediak has done a comparison:

In New Orleans, the people who could not self-evacuate the city, including the sick and people too poor to afford cars, were left to their own devices when the waters rose. Many of the most vulnerable drowned in their homes.

The tens of thousands of old, sick and infirm people who the city encouraged to gather in the Superdome until the storm passed were left there for five days. They had no medical attention, no sanitation, little water and food. Many died. Thousands of other flood survivors stranded at the Convention Center suffered the same fate.

All day the television networks showed footage of people stranded on roofs waving hand-made “help me” signs and others in the Superdome begging for water and medicine for dying seniors. Yet FEMA head Michael Brown said he didn’t realize the extent of the crisis until four days after the levees collapsed. Then he took another four days to rescue the survivors.

In Lebanon, Hezbollah, the force fighting and defending the villages, at the same time started helping the population as soon as the Israeli bombing began. The Lebanese resistance provided the ambulances and scores of searchers who pulled people from the rubble. They helped organize getting tens of thousands of refugees to schools, public parks and private homes (Christian Science Monitor, Aug. 16).

In Beirut alone, Hezbollah organized 10 mobile medical teams that cared for 14 schools each, in two-day rotations, helping 48,000 people. Another 70,000 were treated in houses by other professionals.

In a Hezbollah kitchen near downtown Beirut, volunteers prepared 8,000 hot meals a day — part of a daily total of 50,000 they distributed across Beirut, reported the Monitor.

So. They handled things better during the disaster. How about after?

On Aug. 14, Hezbollah leader Sheik Hassan Nasrallah said he would give money for “decent and suitable furniture” and a year’s rent to any Lebanese who lost their home in the war. Beginning in the very poorest community of Dehiya south of Beirut, the resistance is distributing $12,000 per family, a huge sum in Lebanon where monthly rents average $300 (New York Times, Aug 16).

A year later after the New Orleans flood, “Thousands of people are living amid ruins that stretch for miles on end. ... All you see is debris, debris, debris. ... The reminders of death are everywhere” (New York Times, June 21).

Little to nothing has been done to rebuild the 9th Ward. This majority African-American community is filled with rubble, coated with mud and mold. Advocates point out that much damage, such as advancing mold, could have been stopped if the area had been cleaned early on. Many residents would have gladly organized their own cleaning brigade, but they were banned entry for the first four months after the flood.

In Lebanon, on Aug. 14, the very day of the cease-fire, while Israel was withdrawing its troops from Southern Lebanon, there were reports that hundreds of Hezbollah members spread over dozens of villages across southern Lebanon began cleaning, organizing and surveying the damage. Men on bulldozers were busy cutting lanes through giant piles of rubble. Roads blocked with the remnants of buildings were, just a day after a cease-fire began, fully passable....

...In September, the home insurance giant Allstate refused to reimburse New Orleans homeowners who had flood insurance policies. The company claimed the homes were destroyed by the wind, not by flood (MarketWatch, Sept. 20, 2005).

In October, the Bush administration reneged on its promised to provide thousands of mobile homes as temporary housing for returning refugees (New York Times, Oct. 31, 2005).

After promising New Orleans federal housing loans to repair and rebuild, it became apparent that no special loan provisions had been made for victims of the flood and that the White House was pushing for hurricane disaster-recovery loans at a higher rate than any other administration in the last 15 years (USA Today, March 15)....

...Meanwhile in Lebanon, a Hezbollah spokesperson announced, “We have full information on all the buildings that have been destroyed or damaged. … “We will either pay for new flats or rebuild the buildings that were destroyed”
(Aljazeera.net, Aug. 19)....

...“There are people from Hezbollah coming regularly to check on us and give us bread and other basic items,” said Mohammad Bazih, 30, from the village of Baakline. Residents of Zabqine, where tobacco is cultivated, told the press that Hezbollah was providing them with basic services (Beirut Daily Star, Aug. 22).

Bottom line. Hezbollah is more competent than the US government, the State of Louisiana and the municipality of New Orleans. It is also better at fighting wars than the US (who is 0/2 where Hezbollah is 2/0) and, based on actions, not words, it cares more about the people it rules.

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From AMERICAblog:

GOP Congress blocked Clinton push for anti-terror legislation
by John in DC - 9/04/2006 11:10:00 AM

CNN, July 30, 1996

Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, emerged from the meeting and said, "These are very controversial provisions that the [Clinton] White House wants. Some they're not going to get." ....[Hatch] also said he had some problems with the president's proposals to expand wiretapping.
So Bill Clinton, rather than just breaking the law as Bush did (then again, perhaps this is why Bush broke the law - he knew from history that the Republicans controlling the congress would oppose his efforts to expand wiretapping), decided to go to the Republican congress in 1996 and ask them for increased authority to do more eavesdropping in order to stop the terrorists - stop September 11. Senior Republican Senator Orrin Hatch, one of the GOP's top picks for the Supreme Court and a GOP committee chair, objected.

The Republicans stopped President Clinton from getting all the tools he needed to stop the next September 11 - well, no, actually they opposed giving President Clinton all the tools he needed to stop the actual September 11. Could September 11 have been stopped if the GOP had given President Clinton the tools he requested to stop Osama and Mohammad Atta from killing 3,000 people in New York, Pennsylvania and Washington?

Maybe we need to ask the Republicans up for re-election why they wanted to appease the terrorists?
President Clinton urged Congress Tuesday to act swiftly in developing anti-terrorism legislation before its August recess.

"We need to keep this country together right now. We need to focus on this terrorism issue," Clinton said during a White House news conference.

But while the president pushed for quick legislation, Republican lawmakers hardened their stance against some of the proposed anti-terrorism measures.
There's even an audio clip of President Clinton practically begging the Republicans to give him the tools he needed to stop Osama and the terrorists. Trent Lott said no. Orrin Hatch said no. Do these men really deserve to run the Congress during a time of war?

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