Every time I drive across I-10 now, I think of the time the hawk flew along side the overpass next to me.

Goodbye, Imagine school. I'll miss the teachers we had, but not much else.

I've forgotten what quiet is like.

Yay. Three more yellow pills before (hopefully) increasing sanity.

let's see if I can make it to the gas station this morning.

*&%$!! Am I EVER going to feel rested again??!

Not sure how I've managed - but since 3:30 I got all my errands run, grabbed groceries with the kids, came home & made a balanced dinner while kids were showering, and am about to put kids to bed. Whatever jolt of got-it-togetheredness I got, CAN I HAVE MORE PLEASE??!

so, let's see how this thing works...

It's funny how you think when you grow up life is going to be different somehow. Less confusing, more happy... and really, it never changes. I don't want to stick my head in the sand; my mother is a good example of why not to live like that. And yet, I don't know what to do. I'm paralyzed by the enormity of the problems. I keep thinking "oh, well once THIS happens everything will be better..." but it never seems to work out that way.

I created a whole secret identity to blow off steam, but without some sort of responses it's like shouting into the ether. It's instructive now to go back and read about some of the things I was venting about, or whining about - some of which I'm still venting about to this day, amusingly. Or not amusingly, actually. But there's no great sense of release; no advisory responses, no commiseration - none of the human responses that help you when you're in an emotional crisis.

I used to not know who I was. For many years now, I've not had that problem - granted, I still don't really know what I want to do when I grow up, but I didn't feel centerless. I don't know if it's the depression that's grown over the structure that is "me" like kudzu, obscuring the lines and leaving only a shapeless mass that *might* be a person - or the stress - or, what the nasty voices in my head say: there was never anything there to begin with. While I know that's not true, dealing with it takes away precious (and scarce) emotional and mental energy that I desperately need for the REAL things that are going on.

I know that suicide isn't the answer. I couldn't do that to my children. Sometimes I think it'd be a blessing to my husband - he wouldn't be a single dad for long. But the emotional damage I'd probably do in bowing out like that would probably be pretty horrific. The part of me that knows he loves me doesn't want to do that to him. The part of me that knows he's tired of dealing with me wonders if he made a list of pros & cons at the moment, what he'd decide.

Lost

So I sit here, falling apart. Kids are watching a movie. Got hung up on by my mom when I told her that I wasn't going to be at the hospital to take care of dad for another half an hour to an hour. Worried I'm drifting away; I spend most of my free time trying to escape reality. Reality and neurotic worries not letting me rest today. Recent nightmares join with old hurts and push me over the edge. I'm so tired. Difference between now & 12 years ago - I can see that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I'm no longer worried that all there is for me is tunnel. However, I feel like I'm in a tunnel and out of control of my life. I'm living reactively, rather than proactively - letting other people and things control the speed of travelling through the tunnel. I'm losing myself. I think I have a path, a future - but how do I get there? Have I started? Am I going the right way? Or am I, as it seems so often, just treading water? My partner is living, learning - will I lose him? There's not much of me that's being shared, or worth sharing at the moment. Living in limbo, always waiting for something else to happen before I can do x, y or z. I think lately I've been looking for a house to buy because I'm desperately trying to find some aspect of my life that I control. Not doing a good job with my kids; they're almost always late to school, haven't been helping with homework or music practice; crappy at having lunches packed or making breakfast (or any meal), haven't been a good example of working around the house, haven't taken them outside enough. Just remembered I'm in a class; haven't done homework or read discussion board - completely forgot. At what point do I realize that I'm living now, and not waiting for some ineffable sign that my life has started? Will I always be this tired? Is it lack of sleep or depression? Or sleep apnea? Or laziness?

Very seldom do I drink myself to the point of unawareness. It's looking very attractive at the moment. I guess I'll do the next best thing, as I can't remove myself from my responsibilities today (too many other people need me for things for me to become incapacitated) I'll immerse myself in stupid facebook games and see if I can forget the things that are overwhelming me right now. Maybe meds will alter body chemistry enough for me to get control of the inside of my own head soon.

Another beginning of the month post

I notice the last time I posted was February first. Coincidental; I'm not trying to do once-a-month posts or anything.

Had a lot of fun this weekend; J & I took the kids down to Orlando to see They Might Be Giants. (We dropped into Magic Kingdom & Epcot while we were down there.) I think what I enjoyed the most, actually, was getting to chat with my babu on the car ride home.

Days have been strange for me lately. Other than this weekend, my schedule typically consists of getting up, getting kids ready & taking them to school, then heading over to the hospital to take care of dad. In the afternoon, I pick up the kids early if they've got something to go to (ballet, gymnastics, music lessons) but otherwise they stay in afterschool until 5:30. Sometimes Dad sleeps a lot - like today - so it's been really quiet. I'm beginning to think I'm spending too much time alone - my office (not that I've seen it in a while) is quiet, with nobody around. Here in the hospital, if dad's not awake, it's quiet and nobody else is around. During the day in the hospital I'm supposed to be either working on schoolwork or work-work. Notice I say "SUPPOSED to be" *sigh* Have had horrible willpower lately.

Just got a call from my academic advisor - I'd asked if we could go ahead and push back the next class's start date, which is no problem - I'd also asked about double-majoring. She informed me that for a double major, I'd have to take about 10 more classes; for a minor I'd have to take about six more classes. Considering a master's degree would take about the same amount of time, it looks like it'd make more sense to just go ahead & finish my bachelor's degree as is and then go for a master's. (As evidently it doesn't matter if my undergraduate degree is unrelated to my master's degree subject.)

Five o'clock sneaks up faster and faster every day. Might as well shut down and pack up.

Never thought I'd miss working at Burger King

It's times like this that I REALLY wish I had a walk-in freezer. You can scream as loud as you like in a walk-in freezer and nobody really hears you. It's a great way to let off stress. Isn't there a branch of psychology that does something called primal scream therapy?

Looking for pharmaceuticals

Okay, these 16-20 hour days are getting really, REALLY old. I can't quit just yet. Anybody have any ritalin? Or provigil? Or speed? Or something? I'm not sure I can manage without some chemical help at this point.

ugh.

Next time I think wistfully of rememberingy dreams, remind me of last night. Not only did I have a nightmare about my father-in-law cutting my son out of his will for something stupid & unreasonable, I also had a nightmare about an old ex-friend wherein we discussed what was going through her head during the time she was completely screwing me over.

I wish I could get rid of this headache. *sigh*

Great.

Okay, I'm going to try to reframe my thinking. The stupid little voice inside my head that colors everything grey was bitching that this morning had started off GREAT (/sarcasm) and instead, I'm going to concentrate on the good stuff.

I had a lovely shower, and conditioned my hair. (When you have this much hair, that's an event.) I'm going to try drinking the knox gelatin trick to strengthening hair & nails - it evidently worked for my grandmother's employer. Oven is preheating so I can make the biscuits, and then I just need to warm up the gravy. The kids' clothes are clean, and I think I even know where two matching sets of socks are. My pants are in the dryer, and my shirt just came out of the dryer.

Oh, there's the oven. Be right back.

Okay, so, biscuits are in the oven. My laptop isn't packed (obviously, as I'm typing on it) and I haven't got lotion on (winter dries out my skin terribly) but I can't see in the dark in the bedroom where my laptop bag & the lotion is, and I'm not ready to wake everybody else up yet.

I get to go back to work today - it'll be nice to make some money for a change. Kids go back to school, which I think is good for both them and me. My class has started, but my book's not arrived yet, so I'm not sure how that's going to work out. Hopefully my professor will be accommodating.

Hrm, wait, getting somewhat negative again... okay, thinking of the positive: the smoke alarm didn't go off when I opened the oven door! I have a lunch in the freezer to take to work.

OH CRAP, that's what I needed to be doing: packing lunches. (#@*&$@(#*$&@(#*%&@$

Thank goodness school starts tomorrow

I love my kids. Really, I do. And I would step in front of a bus to save them. But right now, I'd love for them to take a month's vacation somewhere without me.

My son has sadly inherited my temper. For reasons unknown to me, I'm also usually the only one on the receiving end of his tantrums. Some days I handle it better than others. Being constantly tested is wearing me down, however. I know he's intelligent, and I'm glad, but I'm getting tired.

I've checked out of almost everything in my life right now - have withdrawn back somewhat to the limits of what absolutely has to be done for survival. Am slowly trying to pick up the spinning plates that I used to have going, but I have to confess - I don't have the heart for it. I guess it's the depression, but part of my problem with getting all the plates spinning again is that I just really don't want to. I'm tired of my life, I want a different one. Anywhere take trade-ins?

And yet, in all this, don't think that I'm not grateful for everything I have. My husband, altho he's currently working too hard, is a wonderful man and the best partner I could ever ask for. My kids are healthy, and frequently nice. The federal program that pays for my position was renewed, so I still have a job. Work is also paying for me to get some sort of Microsoft certification (that may or may not be worth anything, but hey). My car still runs, I still have a place to live, and there's plenty of food in the pantry and fridge. My parents live in town, so we can help each other out. I have a few good friends, but I don't see them very often.

Right now the kids & I are doing the pomodoro method & trying to get this filthy cluttered apartment cleaned up some. I've got three more minutes to play, and then it's back to work. It worked pretty well yesterday.

Today, not as much.

With the extension of the $8000 tax credit to buy a house, I've been haphazardly looking for a place. I decided if we're going to go through the trouble of buying a house, it'll have to be worth it. At least 4 bedrooms. I found a place that I think we'd all really like - 5/3, on 3/4 of an acre, and affordable - only drawback? It's a 'manufactured home' and therefore hard as hell to finance.

I still need to sit down and write out the pros & cons of buying a trailer - you typically don't get equity, but we're renting now and not getting equity, so what the hell. It's a hell of a lot of space, too - over 2100 sq ft. We'd end up owning the property... I don't know. Part of me just wants to throw my hands up and go hide in the closet. That's probably why I'm sitting in front of the fire doing stupid shit on facebook with farms and islands and animals - hooray for avoidance.

Many hours later...

Okay, house still not anywhere near clean. Kids showered, teeth brush, girl lotioned & hair braided and both in bed - we'll see if they stay there. My wonderful awesome one of a kind irreplaceable husband is home (WOOHOO!) so I'm gone.

like walking into a place you lived long ago...

Between Facebook and Twitter, and my general insanity, I've not been here. Had nothing to say really that deserved an actual full blog post.

However, have been reading an acquaintance's blog, which in a roundabout way reminded me of mine. Since it's 2am and I'm neurotically wide awake, I figured I might as well babble somewhere and try to get control of the voices in my head. (No, I don't *really* hear voices; you know what I mean.)

I have to say, however, that typing this with one thumb on cellphone is reducing my desire to babble. I've finally gotten warm, so it's really not worth getting out from under the snug blankets to get the laptop.

I'll probably write more tomorrow. Later today. Whatever.

Up to a point, this evening was incredible. I hate the inside of my head.

Actually spoken in the course of my day

"I forgot he went to bed with wet hair - his hair's all Stewart Copeland, 1982"

Long day, weird evening, don't think I'll sleep yet...

So, at some point after 10pm the phone at my parents' house rings - it's my mother. She's calling from her hospital room to ask me to call the nurses' station, because her iv is occluded and needs to be reset, and the nurse call button isn't in reach and without the iv she can't get her pain meds.

I call the nurses' station, and am gratified to hear the woman say "Oh, no! I'll go down there right away!" Try to call mom back - and realize that the hospital blocks calls to patient rooms that late. Call the nurses' station back, and tell a new person what just happened, and that I tried to call mom back to tell her I'd talked to you guys, but of course couldn't get through, and could she please pass the message along to mom for her to call me if she felt like it or needed anything? Am less reassured by the tone of voice this response is given to me in.

About 30 minutes later, my cellphone rings - it's a family friend, who says "Is your mom okay? She just called me, and said 'Did I wake you up?' and when I said no, she asked if I could come to the hospital for a little while, and I said um, well, yeah... and your mom said "Are you sick?" and I say well, yeah, have been on & off for several days - then your mom says 'okay, nevermind, don't worry about it' and hangs up! Do you know what's going on?" Told her about call re: iv, say I'll call hospital & talk to nurses & mom and make sure everything is okay.

Call nurses' station; say "my mother just tried to call me but I missed the call, and of course I can't return the call to her - how can I get in touch with her to find out what she needed?" Nurse says "Well, would you like me to unblock her line?" I said yes, please! Nurse says okay, hold on - comes back a few moments later and says okay, let me transfer you. Couple seconds later she picks back up and says well, it's busy - let me go and make sure; maybe she's left it off the hook.... comes back in a little while, and says okay, here you go, and transfers me through.

Mom, love her though I do, is a rotten patient. I think part of it is because she's a bit of a control freak, and part of it is because she never got babied much (by either her parents or my father) so she likes to be taken care of. Admittedly, this was pretty major surgery, and she has 10 holes in her (one really big, rest small), and she has every right in the world to feel like crap. She's also in the post-anesthesia haze, and called the friend because she said she couldn't remember any other numbers. (I think at that point she'd already forgotten that she called me.) She's freaking out a little, and I think is a little confused, and is alone, and feels like shit (poor woman, she's had a nasogastric tube in since yesterday at 8pm, I can't imagine). I'd forgotten what she was like right after surgery; I was hoping she'd be mostly out of it and very groggy.

So I'm at my parents' house, because dad just got out of the rehab hospital a week or so ago, and isn't strong enough to be left alone; my kids are here with me, and as I can't be in two places at once, I am now in the very interesting mental place: feeling guilty that I can't be there to help mom out, and feeling relieved that I can't be there to help mom out.

How did it get to be 2:30am? I wonder if I'm going to be able to sleep on the loveseat, or if I should just go ahead and move to the recliner now...


This morning was entertaining. 6:30ish - little boy wakes up, climbs onto loveseat with me. Not really enough room, I eventually get off and move to recliner. Ten after 7, my cellphone rings - it's my aunt's caretaker; her car has broken down and she's not going to be there today. A little after 8 I give my husband a wake-up call, and dad is already out in the living room - he tells me to lie back down, he's in no hurry for breakfast. I can't go back to sleep anyway, so I get up and start making breakfast. While I'm making breakfast, I call my doctor's office to see if I could drop by today - I've evidently torn something in my calf (probably the soleus muscle) and while the hand-sized bruise has started to go away, stairs suck and by the end of the day even walking is difficult. It almost feels like I'm re-ripping something with every step at that point. They say sure, can you be here at 8:30? I look at clock, it's a little after 8, and say sure. I run out the door in an effing deluge; the sky is falling - go to doc's office (with no history of blood clots, he doesn't think it's a blood clot - if it's the soleus muscle, it could take 6-8 weeks to heal; if it doesn't start feeling at least a little better in the next two weeks though, come back and we'll take a closer look with an MRI. I say thanks, pay, run out, get my aunt breakfast & run by her apartment - give her food & meds and run back to parents' house. Stay there working on stupid grant (that I should have finished last week) until friend comes for dad, J takes the kids and I throw on clean underwear and a clean shirt that luckily are at my parents' house and run like hell to the hospital to see mom before she's taken down for surgery.

I missed her by less than 5 minutes.

Why am I avoiding sleep?

This is nuts. Am going to try to sleep. Wish me luck.

Well, let's see how this goes over with the professor...

I'm currently in my second online class, SOC 402: Contemporary Social Problems & The Workplace.

Our assignment for week one: "Summarize your views on how a specific contemporary social problem is having an impact on your workplace or on workplaces known to you. Identify the problem, and describe what you see as the causes, impacts, and possible solutions to the problem. Respond to at least two of your fellow students’ postings."

Second post on the discussion board? This:

As I ponder what to write I ask myself is this really a social problem or personal. As I ponder this I come to the conclusion that this is a social problem. To start with I will make this statement. Our nation is founded upon the beliefs in God, more specifically Jesus Christ and the values that are built within these beliefs. For decades it was normal for everyone to go to church. You would be scrutinized if you missed too many times. Also divorce was nearly unheard of. Sex was in the confines of a marriage period. Of course there have always been and always will have people that seek sex outside the marriage, either premarital sex or extramarital sex. Being a pastor was considered a high calling in life and pastors were held with a certain amount of respect.

The problems that we face begin with our nation losing site of God. A Christian can no longer stand up for their belief without being called a bigot or racists. A Christian speaking out against homosexuality is becoming a hate crime. As a Christian I cannot protest against abortion. I cannot bring Christ into a school with me but you can talk about evolution and other religions all you want.

Our constitution has statements that guaranty certain rights. Our Bill of Rights Amendment I states:

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. (para, 10)

I do not condone forcing any religion on any one person. However, it is against the Bill of Rights to prohibit me, or any other Christian, from speaking out about our faith and beliefs in what is clearly right and wrong. When society imposes a certain set of beliefs on its citizens you begin to have break downs.

Refernces

The Charters Of Freedom, (para, 10) Retrieved July 1, 2009, from
http://www.archives.gov/exhibits/charters/bill_of_rights_transcript.html

---

Thank you and I hope I didn’t offend anyone:

God Bless,

Well, here is my response:

Allow me to point out the fallacies in your argument:

Fallacy of Authority:

You state "Our nation is founded upon the beliefs in God, more specifically Jesus Christ and the values that are built within these beliefs."

The primary leaders of the founding fathers were not what you would call Christians, they were Deists. Jefferson, in his day, was considered an infidel by the clergy. Jefferson wrote his own version of the gospel, which eliminated all miracles attributed to Jesus and ended with his burial - it contained no resurrection. (You may purchase it at Amazon here if you'd like to read it: http://tinyurl.com/mvn2n9) His letter to Adams on April 11, 1823 is very instructive (you may read the full text here:http://www.stephenjaygould.org/ctrl/jefferson_adams.html), here is one statement from it: "And the day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the supreme being as his father in the womb of a virgin will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter."

Other founding fathers are discussed on this webpage, which does cite some sources of quotes for your further examination: http://tinyurl.com/ammte


You state "For decades it was normal for everyone to go to church. You would be scrutinized if you missed too many times."

I am unsure what decades you are talking about. As your preceding sentence was about the founding of our country, here is some information about church-going during that period of time:
"Not only were a good many of the revolutionary leaders more deist than Christian, but the actual number of church members was rather small. Perhaps as few as five percent of the populace were church members in 1776" (Schools They Haven't Got a Prayer, Elgin, Illinois David C. Cook Publishing, 1982, p. 81)
and:
"perhaps as many as ninety percent of the Americans were unchurched in 1790"
"mid-eighteenth century America had a smaller proportion of church members than any other nation in Christendom,"
"in 1800 [only] about one of every fifteen Americans was a church member"
(Anti-Intellectualism in American Life, New York Alfred A. Knopf, 1974, p. 82, 89)

There have been more recent decades where going to church was much more common, of course. However, if your point is that it was a cultural thing that we used to do but don't do anymore, which is bad, I can point out a myriad of cultural things that we used to do that we don't do anymore (or at least don't tolerate as "normal"), thank god: slavery, child abuse, wife abuse, lynching... just because the majority at one point did something, does not make that something good, please keep in mind. For example, a recent survey by the Pew Research Center found that the more often Americans go to church, the more likely they are to support torture of suspected terrorists. (the CNN article about it is here:http://tinyurl.com/ch54u3) That doesn't sound like a particularly good correlation, you know?


You state: "Also divorce was nearly unheard of."
In the colonies, divorce was expressly forbidden by England. "Once America gained its independence, the petitions for divorce greatly increased" In South Carolina, for example, divorce was only legal briefly from 1868 to 1895, and then wasn't legal again until 1949.

In fact, marriage wasn't even religious in some places! "Early New England regulations ordered that civil magistrates perform all marriages (instead of ministers), because they adopted the Protestant belief that marriage was a civil contract, not a sacrament."

Both above quotes from:
A history of divorce and remarriage in the United States. Claudia W. Strow, Brian K. Strow. Humanomics. Patrington: 2006. Vol. 22, Iss. 4; pg. 239 (There's some interesting stuff in there, it's available on ProQuest if you'd like to read it.)

I won't deny that the amount of divorce has gone up through the centuries, but I think attributing it to society "losing sight" of God is too simplistic by far.



And for the one response I saw before I started writing this, wherein the statement "I don't understand taking the god off the coins and the pledge of allegiance out of school", here is some information for you:
"under God," did not appear in the Pledge of Allegiance until 1954, when Congress put them in.
"In God We Trust" wasn't on paper currency prior to 1956. It had appeared on coins off and on, along with phrases like "Mind Your Business." The original U.S. motto is E Pluribus Unum ("Of Many, One") - which is not religious. The motto was changed in 1956 by Congress & approved by Eisenhower making "In God We Trust" the official motto. So the history of these two things are relatively short overall.



Fallacy of Dramatic Instance:

You state "A Christian speaking out against homosexuality is becoming a hate crime."

I assume you are referring to the amendment to include sexual orientation in the list of protected people under the very limited hate crime law of 1969.

The 1969 law covered crimes motivated by race, color, national origin, and religion (so Christians are protected, please note) but only applies if the victim is engaged in one of six federally protected activities (like voting, interstate commerce, etc.), and then only if the perpetrator is found guilty of the crime and it can be shown that the crime was motivated by a hatred of the victim's race, color, religion, ethnicity, or national origin.

The proposed law extends coverage to gender, sexual orientation, sexual identity, and disability.

Now, there is legitimate differences of opinion on whether there should even be a hate crime law, but as the law stands right now, only some people are protected by the hate crime law, and some are not - which is not in keeping with the American tradition of equal treatment. (Or at least the intention of America to treat people equally; our practice has had its faults.)

The other misconception is that by speaking out against homosexuality you could be judged guilty of committing a hate crime. The hate crime bill ONLY APPLIES IN THOSE CASES INVOLVING A CRIME OF VIOLENCE. Your speech IS protected by the First Amendment; you can say whatever you like. The only possible way I can see your speech could get you into trouble in regards to this hate crime law (keeping in mind I'm not a lawyer) is if you do the equivalent of yelling "fire" in a crowded theatre: if you stand up in front of a group of people, and start yelling about how God hates homosexuals, and they should all be eradicated from the earth, and then one of the people listening to you goes off and starts eradicating homosexuals from the earth, there might be some possibility that you could be held at least partially legally liable. (In my view, you would certainly be morally partially liable.)

For further reading and information about the hate crime laws, this website has some good information, with sources cited: http://tinyurl.com/mlfuf7


You state "As a Christian I cannot protest against abortion." - I have no idea where this idea came from. Protests are protected speech, like any other speech. I'm not crazy about the more recent "Free Speech Zones" but even those allow protest, they just allow the government to control time/place/manner.


You state: "I cannot bring Christ into a school with me but you can talk about evolution and other religions all you want."

Well, if the class is a class about religion, i.e. 'comparative religions' or 'religions of the world' or even 'Christian Tradition' and 'Gospel of Matthew' (those last three are classes taught at my local university) - then sure, bring as much information about Christ and your beliefs as you want.

Evolution is a scientific theory. Scientific theories do not address the existence of God; it is a completely different sphere. Complaining that you cannot bring Christ into a science class is like complaining that you can't dissect a pig in your english class. They have nothing to do with each other. You are welcome to believe whatever you like about how the universe was created.



Finally, you state that you do not condone forcing any religion on any one person. I agree. How offensive would it be to you if before every football game at your local college stadium, I stood up and praised Brahma, Visnu and Shiva for giving us this glorious day to play sports together? How would you feel if every day at school you, as a Christian, had to stand up and say "... one nation, under Satan, indivisible..." before class started? How would you feel if on the coins of the United States it said "In Yu-huang We Trust"? Because there are Hindus, and Satanists, and Taoists in the United States, and they are just as much citizens as you are.

Just so you know, I am not offended.

So, what do you think?


*******************************************************
His response:

Ceara, thank you for your response, but I will state as a fact our nation was indeed founded upon God. Here are some links to further support my statements.

http://www.biblestudy.org/basicart/was-united-states-founded-as-non-religious-nation.html

Was America organized and founded as a strictly secular (non-religious) nation? Not according to each state's constitution! All 50 states in the United States acknowledge God in their constitutions:

Alabama 1901, Preamble. We the people of the State of Alabama ... invoking the favor and guidance of Almighty God, do ordain and establish the following Constitution ...

Alaska 1956, Preamble. We, the people of Alaska, grateful to God and to those who founded our nation and pioneered this great land ...

Arizona 1911, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Arizona, grateful to Almighty God for our liberties, do ordain this Constitution ...

Arkansas 1874, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Arkansas, grateful to Almighty God for the privilege of choosing our own form of government ...

California 1879, Preamble. We, the People of the State of California, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom ...

Colorado 1876, Preamble. We, the people of Colorado, with profound reverence for the Supreme Ruler of Universe ...

Connecticut 1818, Preamble. The People of Connecticut, acknowledging with gratitude the good Providence of God in permitting them to enjoy ...

Delaware 1897, Preamble. Through Divine Goodness all men have, by nature, the rights of worshipping and serving their Creator according to the dictates of their consciences ...

Florida 1885, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Florida, grateful to Almighty God for our constitutional liberty ... establish this Constitution ...

Georgia 1777, Preamble. We, the people of Georgia, relying upon protection and guidance of Almighty God, do ordain and establish this Constitution ...

http://www.afn.org/~govern/Christian_Nation.html

Recently, many authors have debated whether or not the United States of America was founded as a Christian nation. I wish to provide a few historical quotes from our Founding Era that lend credence to the supposition that we indeed were founded as a Christian nation.

Granted, God is not mentioned in the Constitution, but He is mentioned in every major document leading up to the final wording of the Constitution. For example, Connecticut is still known as the "Constitution State" because its colonial constitution was used as a model for the United States Constitution. Its first words were: "For as much as it has pleased the almighty God by the wise disposition of His Divine Providence…"

Most of the fifty-five Founding Fathers who worked on the Constitution were members of orthodox Christian churches and many were even evangelical Christians. The first official act in the First Continental Congress was to open in Christian prayer, which ended in these words: "...the merits of Jesus Christ, Thy Son, our Savior. Amen". Sounds Christian to me.

Ben Franklin, at the Constitutional Convention, said: "...God governs in the affairs of men. And if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without His notice is it probable that an empire can rise without His aid?"

John Adams stated so eloquently during this period of time that; "The general principles on which the fathers achieved Independence were ... the general principles of Christianity ... I will avow that I then believed, and now believe, that the general principles of Christianity are as etemal and immutable as the existence and attributes of God."

I will concede there is just as much information stating that our nation was not founded upon God. Maybe a better term is that our forefathers and a strong majority were Christians.

As for divorce rates, It has increased dramatically since the mid 1900’s. Prior to that time it was not acceptable to get a divorce in societies eyes, why, because of the majority’s faith in God. The Scriptures teach us that it is not favorable to divorce.

When I went to School I was allowed to bring my Bible with me to class and leave it sitting on my desk. When I had free time I could read it. Today I would be expelled from school should I even bring it through the doors.

About your comment on prayers, do you watch NASCAR? Also why does congress open with prayer? If we are not founded upon God why does our government begin just about everything it does with prayer, or at least use to? As with everything discussed we both could go on and on but I do not see a need to continue.

All men, people, are created equal. So why do we have minorities? You stated I have listed fallacies in my post. We are all free to have our opinions and it is my opinion that these are not fallacies but a true statement of our society today. As a Christian I am discriminated against.

Thank you for your thoughts, comments, and opinions.

God Bless,

And his response to the other commenter:

Maria, thank you for your reply, I agree with what you said. Ceara commented on the pledge of Allegiance and about “In God We Trust.” She is right about when they were entered. My reply is that at one point it was added. The question is why, which no one wants to ask. The answer is simple; we are a nation that was founded upon God. Most people in our nation, at one time anyway, are or were Christians. We placed such an importance in God that we included him in all we did. Now that people are falling away they do not want to be reminded of our foundations…

God Bless,


So, not surprising. I must confess it irritated me, however.