{moved to webpage because it's taking up waaaaay too much space on this blog page}
He's not responded to that last one yet. The more I read it, the more disappointed I am, really. Prior to this email exchange I'd run into him in Home Depot and discovered that he supported Bush et al, and expressing disbelief I said we'd have to sit down & talk about it. He told me then that there were things I didn't know; that I had to remember he still had friends 'in the business' and that I shouldn't believe the media. When I spoke with him on IM at some point after that, I mentioned that I'd just returned from my first march (I joined FSU, TCC & FAMU students marching on the Capitol demanding justice for Martin Lee Anderson, the kid who died in the Florida boot camp due to "complications from sickle cell trait.") His (very condescending) response started out with "have you completely strangled your common sense?" and progressed to basically saying that this kid got what he deserved, and that he supported the death penalty, etc. I got pretty upset and called him a barbarian, so to be fair perhaps in this email exchange he's still feeling offended by how emotionally I reacted to the IM conversation. (Part of his logic about the death penalty was this: I didn't have a problem killing somebody to keep them from hurting myself, my family, my close friends, or a bystander - so why should the passage of time matter? To this day, I still cannot understand how he could not see the difference between me shooting a man to keep him from killing my husband, or electrocuting a man after he's already killed my husband. To me, the first is defense/preemption - the second revenge. Am I nuts here?)
I used to respect this man, and I made allowances for his overbearing behaviour, his condescention, his faint sexism and misogynism in his speech - I said he was older, he was military, he was a lawyer... but I don't know what to say to this.
After J read this email exchange (I BCC'd him copies) he called me from his office and told me that he was so angry that he was actually sick to his stomach. He said that he couldn't believe anybody that would profess to be a friend who cared about me would speak to me that way.
While that had occurred to me, I frankly have had that happen so often with 'friends' that it's not usually the first thing that comes to mind in situations like this. What I still keep coming back to is this: HE DIDN'T ANSWER ANY OF MY QUESTIONS. I don't understand that. He had no response, no explanation, no reasoning for why anything I mentioned or asked about was wrong, was reasonable, was sucky but unavoidable, etc. - his entire response consisted of patting me on the head and saying that I wasn't capable of having a conversation about it. (Is that what you get out of it, too? Am I reading too much into what he said?)
So I'm asking the general public. Pass it on. To those of you that don't know either of us, what do you think? And do any of you know of any places where the questions I raised ARE addressed? Because I honestly would like answers.
6 comments:
I got the same thing (i.e. ambiguous claims that you are ignorant/immature/incompetent but no discussion of why he thought this) out of it.
I have learned that the right and the left in this country are increasingly living in totally different worlds. We look at different datasets, we discount different things out of hand. The only thing that I am sure of is that we are all being manipulated, and anyone who is standing firm and shouting from the hilltops while on these shifting sands without massive resources and access for verifying information is mad.
as the devil's advocate:
sometimes when a subject means so much to one person and that person just doesn't have the drive or energy to argue, yet again, with someone they either feel won't honestly listen to them the way they feel they should be or they feel the person is already too jaded to listen openly.
he definately shut you down but he could have emotional/exhausted reasoning for it. belittling you, well, not as an excuse, but he may feel that way about you on the subject. many people who are extensively educated on a subject and "KNOW" they are right tend to take a stand like that.
friend or not, it shouldn't be surprising, honestly and perhaps sadly.
I don't discuss politics with people for many reasons, and my tendency to act as this man is one of them. I honestly feel that people don't look at all of the information and live in a world of sound-bytes and bolded text. reguardless of what side I am wrong, i believe most people are completely misguided in the way they form their opinions and i sense a ton of that in "his" email as well.
umm.. that was supposed to read:
"what side i am on."
not "wrong".
Yo Stef - I've not had a political discussion with you in forever, I'm curious as to whatcha think about the current kerfluffle etc. Ding me next time you're on IM!
And yes, I can understand being weary of arguing a topic - as he's a lawyer here in a BLUE city/county, I'm sure he's had to put up with quite a lot.
I agree with you that far too much is left to soundbites and bolded text (great way to put it) which is why I'm trying to converse about it to get a little deeper.
(And I translated "wrong" to "on" when I read it, no worries ;) )
I mean this with all sincerity. I don't talk politics with anyone. Well, let me refrain that. I talk with an extremely small number of people about politics. Mostly, it's about political theory, though. As these email-posts are proof, it's a slippery slope that puts and end to friendships and mutual respect.
There are a many other things I will talk with you about, though
:-)
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