So let this be a lesson to you...

I've told myself for years not to care what other people think. I've done a really shitty job of it. Most recent example:

My mom (who has said in the past that when I say things like "Argh, the kids are driving me CRAZY today, they make me want to shut them in closets!" she worries that I would actually do it) sees me spank my daughter once (she was doing the flagrantly disobedient, laugh while she's doing it in my face stuff) and now cannot sleep from concern and wants to talk to me about it.

My mother-in-law says I'm doing an awesome job as a mother, and tells my sister-in-law that my son is brilliant, but other than seeing her at school when we were dropping off & picking up M, she's not spent any time with us, so how would she know?

I remembered that my counselor said I should spend less time with my mother. Since he's said that, I've spent more time with her, sadly. J & I never thought my parents would be the ones to spend this much time with our kids. Between that, the money we owe her, and the health problems I help her with (currently it's post-operative wound care kinda stuff) I spend more time with her now than I have in years. And while generally I get along with her better, she also has the ability to press my buttons better than anybody in existence. (Probably because she created most of them, come to think of it.)

I realized just the other day that part of what drives me crazy about my mom is that she thinks I'm brilliant, gifted, awesome, a person she'd be glad to be friends with even if I weren't related - all that gushy stuff. And yet she cannot seem to not treat me like an incompetent moron. I'm guessing it's the result of her fucked up home life, which is why I keep wishing SHE'D go to therapy - but that'll happen when pigs fly. (And don't tell me they're working on that in the labs.)

Add to that, day after tomorrow is my son's birthday. I've sort of put off planning anything - one because I procrastinate almost everything; two because we were still moving up until a few days ago; three because my sister-in-law is going to pop any day now... that reminds me, I've not heard from her in a couple of days, wonder if she's in labour yet?

I'm going to go peruse consumer reports type things about vacuum cleaners, because we're going to need one at this house. The old red one that we inherited from a roommate sometime in the last 4 years is, well, old. I've replaced the belt on it several times. (It doesn't do so well with long hair. Oops. Between living with me & our exroommates, long hair was sort of a staple floor covering...)

Ah, PMS. How I love your mental instability inducing hormones. I've not noticed that the new mood-stabilizing drugs do much, but it's only been a little over a week - I know antidepressants rarely show an effect before two or three weeks; this is probably no different.

OOO! Possible trip coming up... going to do research now.