WHAT THE F&$# IS IT EVER GOING TO BE EASIER?

Okay, so mom's in the hospital. She originally went in to have a seroma removed, as it was grapefruit or more sized and was making it difficult for her to bend over. Not a big deal; not expected to go beyond the fat layer.

Turns out it had grown into the mesh that had been placed over the weak spot of a previous hernia surgery; between that and another hernia that seemed to be developing to the left, the surgery was more complicated than expected. She's in the hospital on a morphine drip. She is, and I say this with much love (and she'd agree with me) a CRAPPY patient.

Okay, so I'm in the hospital with a 3 1/2 yr old and a 2 yr old. That was a blast. Realized that they both desperately needed naps, and mom told me to go ahead and go home (I was originally going to make a pallet for them on the floor with blankets) - so now I'm at the old house; C is asleep and M, of course, never went down after I took her (asleep!) out of the car. Did I mention we're potty training M? She did very well today - she waited until we were in the hospital dining room, far away from my bag of clean clothes etc., to have an accident. Oy.

The power is getting cut off at this house day after tomorrow. We can't get the pressure washer we borrowed from my dad to start. (I fricking HATE small engine things. Lawnmowers, you name it.) I have to be at the hospital at 7am tomorrow so I can talk to the doctor. Our friend Sue (bless her soul) is going to come to our house at 8:30 to watch the kids, because J can't get off work until about noon.

I started mood stabilizer medication last wednesday or so - hard to tell if there's been any difference; I sure noticed the difference when I remembered to start taking my flax seed oil capsules. Regardless, the stress is beginning to get to me. Between my mother, the house, our finances, and my (#*&@(#$*@# feet (heel spurs, and I think I've pulled both calf muscles) and the fact that I have a two year old who's enjoying being 2, and a 3 1/2 yr old who is going through potty training - I'm about to cry for no discernible reason. Oh, and my laptop isn't working as well with Ubuntu as we hoped, so I'm going back to Mac OsX, assuming we can find a #(*#@$@#&( copy, as I've managed to find Justin's original laptop cds, but not mine)

Disobedient children. I'm right on the edge of losing it. Would anybody like to take my kids for a few days? They're stressed out because they've spent so much time at my parents' house and have had no schedule and haven't seen a whole lot of J and I...

Okay, fuck it, am taking the kids and picking up J. Never got M to sleep and she's getting into stuff. Hope all is well with all of you. I'll concentrate on remembering the half-full part of the glass. (Mom came out of surgery fine, the kids are healthy, J's got a steady well paying job, we're living in a nice house, we have a nice car...)