Speechless

So much has happened lately. Both personally and nationally.

The United States tortures. While this doesn't exactly surprise me, it does make me feel ill. What makes me well and truly angry are the people who defend it as being worthwhile because of the intelligence we got as a result. I've got a response for them: THE END DOES NOT JUSTIFY THE MEANS.

I won't talk about that more because I honestly can't handle it yet. I get too upset.

Personally, it's been interesting.

My aunt hasn't kicked the bucket yet. And as of yesterday, she's in the infamous "doughnut hole" so all her prescriptions are now totally out of pocket. Which means that the almost $300 a month anti-depressant is not going to work; I get to talk to her doctor and see if we can go back to her previous medications (which costs less). This conversation is going to include him saying that ritalin is a stimulant, and that somebody with congestive heart failure shouldn't be taking it - and I'm going to have to do the same thing I did with the provigil argument: it's a quality of life issue, if she doesn't have much longer left anyway, what the hell difference does it make?

Fortunately we've got most of the day covered by either CNAs or an experienced caretaker - when one of the original nurses had her day job schedule changed and suddenly was unable to be there, mom & I were it for evening shift. I'm glad we've found someone to cover that, because the stress of mommy not being there (and being tired & stressed when she WAS there) was beginning to show in the children.

I still get the occasional 2am "I've gotten out of bed to poop and now I can't get off the beside commode, can you come help me get back to bed?" call. For a little while there it was REALLY common and I'd decided if I was going to be a night-time toilet rescuer that I wanted a cape and an outfit, dammit.

On a flattering-but-kinda-weirds-me-out note, my father-in-law evidently thinks I'm awesome. I volunteered to answer phones one morning during this year's public radio pledge drive (I figure if I have no money to give, I can give time instead) and ironically when he called in, I was the one who answered the phone. So his challenge that he wanted read on the air? 'For all fathers or father-in-laws to show their appreciation for their daughters/in-laws who give back to the community.' He called me yesterday to tell me that one of the things he really likes about me is that I'm a nice daughter. When I laughed he clarified that by explaining that when my mother asks for something I help, rather than telling her that she's got to take care of it herself. I (and my husband, I'm sure) would argue that I err on the side of being a little TOO helpful, that sometimes I SHOULD tell my mother no, dammit, do it yourself - but I can't wrap my head around the idea of my family (or friends, either, actually) REALLY needing help, and not attempting to help somehow. The reason my father-in-law's admiration weirds me out so much is because he's historically been kinda rough on his children. When they were younger, anyway. He just retired, and the lack of stress seems to have changed his interaction with the world significantly (and for the better).

The other day my father fell in the bathroom and was rushed to the hospital. I'm so glad his next door neighbors were home - his "I've fallen and I can't get up" button calls her, mom, & me. She came right over and found him face down over the edge of the bathtub (thank god there was no water in it), and decided to call 911 so the experts could make sure there'd not been another stroke or somesuch. She couldn't move him. While she was outside waiting for the ambulance, the other neighbor - my chorus director, actually - happened to come out to get his mail, asked her if everything was okay, and when she said no & explained, he went in and picked dad up so he'd be upright. Dad was ragdoll-limp, and while he's not big, he's still a good 120lbs of deadweight - yes, my conductor is buff. He & his wife were there with the other neighbor until my mom got there and she & dad left for the hospital in the ambulance. The neighbors then very nicely locked the front door behind them. Unfortunately, they locked the bottom lock - which nobody has a key to. We all use the deadbolt above it. So when mom & dad got home from the hospital around 1:30am, they had to call me to go around to the back of the house to unlock the door and let them in.

Nothing is ever simple, you know?

Dad's diagnosis - he'd been feeling nauseated all day and hadn't eaten or drunk anything. He's had problems with being dizzy lately, and the combination of that, lack of food/water, and congestion reducing his oxygen input (he has COPD and emphysema), there's really no surprise he went over. So far the tests seem to say that everything is fine.

My awesome husband has started teaching me python. So far, it makes sense - I've not had a whole lot of spare brain cells to give it lately, unfortunately. I'm hoping I'll be able to retain at least a LITTLE of it! Work has been kinda nutty - I have a major deadline on the 30th, and two days ago found out that I have another major deadline on May 12th. The thing due on May 12th? Last time they had to do it at work it took them a month. I'm hoping that because I'm there now it will go faster. (Not to be smug or anything.) The OMGHAIRONFIREINEEDTHESENUMBERSBYTODAY that got thrown at me and 3 other people yesterday or the day before? Found out today 'Nevermind, finance department screwed up and we don't actually have any money to spend, don't need those numbers after all.'

*sigh*

On the bright side, at least I got my new laptop at work. The old one was making me absolutely crazy. This one? Muuuuuuuuuch faster.

The most exciting thing that's happened to me personally, though?

I'VE GONE BACK TO COLLEGE!!!

Registered today, and am now filling out all the financial aid paperwork. According to the advisor (I hope to god he's right and not blowing smoke) I should be totally covered. So I'm finally going to finish my bachelors degree. (online) Am currently aiming for "social science" - a history/polisci focus. So all that free time that I had (bwahahahahahahahahaha) I've now got something to do with! It was really cool that both friends I told today were not only incredibly excited as well, but they said if there was anything they could do to help me to just let them know.

I didn't get any pictures from my most recent facepainting adventures. It's just as well, because now that I have two classes to cover, holidays are slammed trying to get to everybody. Well, more than two classes, actually - not only do I have both of my kids' classes, but since I work at a school, I get the teachers there asking if I can do it for their classes too. This means the cheek art has gotten MUCH simpler - hearts on valentine's day, 4-leaf clovers on St. Patrick's day, and decorated eggs right before easter. Not much worth taking pictures of.

I was going to do facepainting for the March of Dimes walk, but the dress rehearsal for my choral concert was rescheduled and there was no way I could miss it. :( I felt really bad cancelling on them relatively last-minute - I hope they'll keep me in mind for their next event.

Speaking of that dress rehearsal? We were singing The Creation by Haydn. (In english, thank goodness - I've been too busy to try to do it in german.) It's about 2 hours long. Or more. And the soloists do quite a bit of singing without us, the chorus - so we have chairs to sit in. Now imagine this: about 200 people, sitting down in folding plastic & metal chairs. SQUUUEEEEAAK! You should have seen the look on my director's face. He's a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to his music. So here's me in a nutshell - the next dress rehearsal (we had two) I brought a can of WD40 and tried it on my chair. It seemed to work, so after rehearsal, I spent an hour on my knees spraying the 4 joints of almost all of 200 chairs. I couldn't get to all of them before the people in the church had taken them down & put them away, but I hit most of them! Yes, I'm a bit of a perfectionist, or obsessive-compulsive, or both, why do you ask? So when we're all standing there the next day warming up before the concert, we've not sat down yet, and I'm DYING to know if the chairs still squeak. We're about to go into the back so they can open the house, and I ask our assistant director (he's a PhD student, and very inspiring) if we can sit down & stand up because I want to know if it worked! (I think he did too.) So he gets everybody's attention and says "Okay, sit down everybody. (everybody sits) Okay, stand up. (everybody stands) If you notice a difference in how your chair sounds, thank her, she sprayed them all with WD40 yesterday." Everyone started applauding, and he made me stand up and take a bow.

I have had a very gratifying life lately. :)

Both my kids have gotten into a local charter school that looks REALLY COOL, and I'm really excited about it. It's not that far away from where we live, either, which is a bonus.

Babbling I am! I'm almost out of battery as well, so I'm going to quit now. I'm sure you now have heard more than you ever wanted to about the minutiae of my life, but it's been a while since I've written, and I'm out of practice.

Hope all is well with all of you out there in cyberspace!