*sorta collapses into bed*

Did I mention I had a really bizarre dream night before last that I seduced Mel Gibson & he fell for me? 'Course, I was way hotter in my dream than I am in real life at the moment. I looked like my 19 yr old self. Ironically, when I was 19, I had a mental impression of my body that I was fat & unattractive. Now that I'm 30, every time I look in the mirror I am shocked that I don't look like the 20 yr old that the inside of my head still expects to see... I look more like the mental impression of myself that I had when I was 19. What a gyp.

Anyway, today was interesting. Stayed up way too fricking late reading comics, news, setting up NewsFire, etc. last night. M woke me up around 6 or 7... I think I managed to get both of them back to sleep at about 10. We were all originally going out to dinner to celebrate my dad's 85th birthday, but Sue's husband Jim (who also just had a birthday) was sick and so they couldn't go, and mom said she had too many papers to grade, and it's parents' weekend at FSU and there's a football game, so it would be hell at any restaurant, etc. - so J says he wants to go cook dinner for dad instead.

Some of J's boss's family lives in New Hampshire, and he'd given us homemade dark maple syrup (damn, is it good), so J made a pecan crusted pork loin that had been brined in Strongbow cider & maple syrup. Black eyed peas, greens, dad made cornbread (yes, we asked the birthday boy to make the cornbread - nobody else's is as good), J & I made this absofuckinglutely DIVINE salad - roma tomatoes, yellow tomatoes, shallots, roasted garlic clove antipasto, some sweet onion, lemon juice, and salt/pepper/spices - I'm drooling just thinking of it. Italian creme cake for dessert (dad really liked it; I was proud of picking out something different for him this year rather than a german chocolate cake like always - this might even become a new favorite!) and then we got out the music.

It was a wonderful evening. M was dancing to Tom T. Hall, Boots Randolph, the Louvin Brothers, Dylan (played Bear Mountain Picnic Massacre for mom, who laughed out loud at it), Marty Robbins... J sat down with dad and played him some great music, which I loved to see.

After dinner and dessert, while J & dad were listening to music in the living room, I actually remembered to take the compost can out for dad - however, either the liner of this can is leaking, or something had slipped between the liner and the can, because when I lifted it out it was positively COATED in eggs and maggots. EEEEEWWWW. Fortunately I'm not squeamish, so I picked up the handles and was taking it outside when one of the handles came off and the can crashed to the floor. It remained upright, so there wasn't rotten produce to clean up - but a whole lot of maggots had gotten shaken loose onto the floor. EEEEEWWWWW So I'm now trying to figure out a way to get maggots off a linoleum floor. It's a bamboo green color, and mom couldn't see the maggots, so I was trying to get them up - let me tell you, best method I found: broom and dustpan. Maggots are kinda cylindrical, so they roll into the dustpan like little squirmy rice grains. (Once they were in the dustpan mom could definitely see them, and was massively grossed out.) Mom jokes about it being an ending to a wonderful evening - and then the phone rings.

It's the 2nd grade teacher at mom's school (who, btw, was MY second grade teacher, and whose birthday is the same day as mine) who mom (indeed, my entire family) has been friends with for years. I'm in the living room, and I hear mom say in that voice that is not like any other, "Oh My God... Oh My God..." So I drift towards her to make sure she's okay and to find out what's up.

Most of you probably don't know this, but I used to tutor children. Math and science, mostly. Jeremy was a kid I tutored in science - he was smart, could be a sweetie, could also be somewhat ignorant - came from a conservative family, I think - anyway, not Nobel Peace Prize brilliant here, but definitely had potential. Lazy and disorganized, so I kinda identified with him. ;) He was a ninth grader this year. He was riding in the back or on the side of a pickup truck, and fell out - he has massive brain damage and they're not sure if he's going to survive.

I used to think I was cold & unfeeling. I've never had anybody REALLY close to me die - kids I'd gone to school with, friends of my parents, my ex-husband's grandmother... and while it was sad, I never really felt deeply touched. First time I saw my dad cry was pretty rough... and when Daniel's dad died in a car accident I felt awful for Daniel, but didn't really know his dad... but none of it was personal. Perhaps it's because I'm now a mother; I have a son. I knew Jeremy's mom. I'd kidded her about keeping Jeremy on his toes with his homework, prodding him to be organized... I'd chatted with Jeremy and two girls he hung out with/dated, and gotten an interesting glimpse into the life of a young adult... I can't imagine what his mother is going through right now, but in some ways, I can...

And after leaving my parents' house, both J & I admitted to having premonitions that dad won't make it to his next birthday... hell, I had the feeling he wouldn't make it to tomorrow morning. I hope we're wrong on that one.

So, off to soothe my son back to sleep for the 2nd or 3rd time tonight... having a stuffed up nose sucks, poor guy.