but I'm running low on emotional endurance. Part of it is the physical tiredness; it makes my available emotional energy lower than standard anyway - but the rest is emotional fallout.
I really appreciate all the work that Kaye & Joan put into cleaning out our old place and setting up the garage sale. However, I think I now know where Megan gets her "let's throw everything away!" impulses. It amazes me, because Kaye told me how glad she was that I rescued the first baby blanket that she made for her first grandchild, when Megan threw it out on the street... here's some of the things I found in the trash:
more than $80 worth of cut, polished, loose opals
our wedding certificate
my bankruptcy paperwork
some divorce paperwork
random pieces of childrens toys (large lego pieces, little people, a miniature toy tea set, etc.)
5-10 books, notebooks, 3 ring binders, legal pads, etc.
several pairs of jeans, some t-shirts, a bunch of my underwear, the tops of two of my pajama sets, a silk dressing gown...
the leather lederhosen Justin wore as a child that we're passing on to Christian
aforementioned Capital Children's Chorus tape
the red & white knit footie outfit from Germany that J wore as an infant that we're passing on
one of my silver eeyore earrings (I hope the other one is in the house somewhere... *sigh*)
some diary pages
some photographs
lots of plug covers and other random items
Okay, so YOU tell ME - wouldn't you be pissed? Out of a pile of garbage bigger than our Ford Explorer, there were maybe THREE BAGS that did NOT have something in it that I wanted to keep.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I see Kaye tomorrow when I drop off Moira at school. I didn't say anything this morning, because I could understand how a folded up marriage certificate and a cassette tape could get thrown out in a mad rush... but the sheer number of things thrown away has just blown my mind. I'm afraid if I try to get into a conversation with her I'll just totally lose it and say something like "what the hell?! Thanks for all your incredibly hard work, but F*&#!!! ALL I asked of you was that you ASK ME FIRST. How would you like it if I went through YOUR stuff and started throwing away stuff??!!" AAAAAARRRRRGH
Okay, gotta go pick up J from work - we're going to Patrick's house for dinner & the Scorcese special about Bob Dylan. WOOHOO!
mostly pointless meanderings
Monday, September 26, 2005
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- So much going on
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2 comments:
i can't even imagine. i would surely bubble over with horror.
i am sure you will handle it better than i would, but i certainly understand.
preface for the less informed: Ceara is my sis-in-law-in-law (as she's married to my wife's brother). Therefore, our Mother-in-law is the same person.
Yo Gurl - just for clarification... the "first baby blanket" Kaye made for Caleb (the first grandchild) was not exactly as it seems. Kaye stitched together several little blankets for Caleb when he was about 2½ that had a satiny border and flannelly cloth in hopes that the sensory stimulation would help him cope with a raging case of budding independence. He didn't really take to them after the initial novelty wore off... and when we moved to Minnesota with only what we could fit in our Chevy Cavalier, sacrifices had to be made.
Now, before I go any further, let me say that legal paperwork, keepsakes, and wearable clothing were certainly discarded with a degree of carelessness that you do not deserve nor should you tolerate without frustration.
But, there's a philosophical difference here (please know that I'm not flaming, just discussing). That blanket that got tossed wasn't what he came home from the hospital in (we have that one). It didn't have his name stitched in it (we've got that one, too). It wasn't handed down or made with longevity in mind. Occasionally, downsizing is virtue enough. Even though there might be a good reason to keep X, getting rid of one more thing may be enough of a reason to toss X.
So I get why you're upset - but I just think it's worth it to consider different perspectives. Again, allowing for the carelessness that saw some valuables get pitched, I'm thinking that straight-up frame-of-mind can be blamed for the bulk of it. Personally, if I'm trying to ditch stuff, empty 3-ring binders or unused legal pads are on the dump list. I can replace those for minimal cost if I need them. Ditto on plug covers and "random items". This isn't rhetorical, I'm just saying that there were probably some things (that is, a lot of things) that seemed like no-brainer trash candidates to Kaye that were big-brainer tough decisions for you.
Whew... that was a lot of Mother-in-law defense. I'm going to go watch some football and not make my kids go to church. ;)
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