I'm sure this is normal

I mean, I know everybody has this kind of stuff happen to them. I mean, heck, poor Dan is running from the cops. But to have Justin have heatstroke from mowing the lawn at the old house; for us to slide into a ditch on Lipona that required a tow truck and some ingenuity (I was sure the side panels would be all dented, but no, it didn't actually come up that high) - the only reason we didn't flip over into the ditch was because Justin knew at the point of no return to actually steer INTO the ditch rather than fight it (which is what I would have done); and to have a phone call from Sharif (who evidently does like it) offering us cash for our old house. (!!) It's either a) a scam b) one of those "buy houses cheap foreclosure guys or c) some rich guy named Sharif d) who may want to not go through a bank and therefore avoid that level of scrutiny. (In that order of likelihood, too.)

This is on top of a normal weekend with two kids under four - tantrums, playing, not enough sleep, going down the escalator, potty training...

Sleeping for a week. I very rarely have had a time in my life when I've not been willing to take that offer.

Off to research...

One of the milestones of parenthood

Taking the doorknob off our bedroom door to let the cat out, as we didn't notice the kids had been playing with the lock, and when we shut the door, it was locked. Oops.

Dangit, am talking with mom and missed the Daily Show. Crap.

Bless my husband, who is putting the children to bed. I really appreciate getting that break; by the end of the day I've lost whatever patience I had with the kids during the day, as a general rule.

and, like a bolt from the blue...

am catching up on over 500 newsfire rss feeds, and saw an item - rumour from the UK is that war with Iran is guaranteed, already planned, and we'll be in it within the year. (This from the same people who were saying that the war with Iraq was planned when the Bush administration was still saying "no, no, it's a last resort.")

Talking with J - and it hits me (yeah, I'm slow)

We went to war in Iraq so we'd have a place to attack Iran from.

I'm sure most of you are going DUH!

We've got flyover rights from Turkey, Azerbaijan, & Turkmenistan; we now have bases & troops in Afghanistan, Uzbekistan, and some "staging" in Turkmenistan; Pakistan is our "ally" (altho I'm not sure how stable) - but we needed something close by on their west flank that wasn't just friendly, but was ours. With Iraq, that's it. Iran is surrounded.

Shall we start a betting pool? I'll guess we'll be at war with Iran by early 2007. Place your bet!

I am stunned

The patheticness is unimaginable.

I'm surfing the television. I come across "Cheaters" - a television show made up entirely of video shot of actual people committing infidelities. The intro stated - and I quote - "This program is both dedicated to the faithful and presented to the false-hearted to encourage their renewal of temperance and virtue. " God help me, they have a website.

Later I come across "Who wants to be a Millionaire" and the question is "who was president of the United States during World War I?" AND THE DUMB BITCH HAD TO CALL HER FRIEND.

Fuck Jefferson weeping. I'M weeping.

How I'm keeping myself busy these days, besides the usual housework (mended J's pocket this morning, I feel so domestic), birthday plans for C, unpacking...

heeheeheeheehee okay, this will probably make mostly democrats laugh.

but the good ideas aren't sexy, so it'll never happen, like so many other things that will never happen...

This makes the point that I've been making since day one: this war cannot be won by the military, because they're fighting an IDEA, and people living by an idea... I mean, think of it this way: what if you were trying to get rid of the christians in the US. Imagine a large number of them were fundamentalists that believed enough to bomb abortion clinics, believed enough to strap bombs to themselves and walk into gay bars, or the like. Now imagine trying to kill them all. Doesn't that sound stupid? For every one christian extremist you'd kill, you'd create an untold number more - that person's children, or observers that hadn't quite decided to be THAT much of an extremist, but now had a reason... *sigh*

So let this be a lesson to you...

I've told myself for years not to care what other people think. I've done a really shitty job of it. Most recent example:

My mom (who has said in the past that when I say things like "Argh, the kids are driving me CRAZY today, they make me want to shut them in closets!" she worries that I would actually do it) sees me spank my daughter once (she was doing the flagrantly disobedient, laugh while she's doing it in my face stuff) and now cannot sleep from concern and wants to talk to me about it.

My mother-in-law says I'm doing an awesome job as a mother, and tells my sister-in-law that my son is brilliant, but other than seeing her at school when we were dropping off & picking up M, she's not spent any time with us, so how would she know?

I remembered that my counselor said I should spend less time with my mother. Since he's said that, I've spent more time with her, sadly. J & I never thought my parents would be the ones to spend this much time with our kids. Between that, the money we owe her, and the health problems I help her with (currently it's post-operative wound care kinda stuff) I spend more time with her now than I have in years. And while generally I get along with her better, she also has the ability to press my buttons better than anybody in existence. (Probably because she created most of them, come to think of it.)

I realized just the other day that part of what drives me crazy about my mom is that she thinks I'm brilliant, gifted, awesome, a person she'd be glad to be friends with even if I weren't related - all that gushy stuff. And yet she cannot seem to not treat me like an incompetent moron. I'm guessing it's the result of her fucked up home life, which is why I keep wishing SHE'D go to therapy - but that'll happen when pigs fly. (And don't tell me they're working on that in the labs.)

Add to that, day after tomorrow is my son's birthday. I've sort of put off planning anything - one because I procrastinate almost everything; two because we were still moving up until a few days ago; three because my sister-in-law is going to pop any day now... that reminds me, I've not heard from her in a couple of days, wonder if she's in labour yet?

I'm going to go peruse consumer reports type things about vacuum cleaners, because we're going to need one at this house. The old red one that we inherited from a roommate sometime in the last 4 years is, well, old. I've replaced the belt on it several times. (It doesn't do so well with long hair. Oops. Between living with me & our exroommates, long hair was sort of a staple floor covering...)

Ah, PMS. How I love your mental instability inducing hormones. I've not noticed that the new mood-stabilizing drugs do much, but it's only been a little over a week - I know antidepressants rarely show an effect before two or three weeks; this is probably no different.

OOO! Possible trip coming up... going to do research now.

Notes from the front

I've been avoiding the news for the last week or so in an effort to maintain my mental health. J did, however, read to me the Honourable Gentleman from Alaska Ted Stevens's reason for voting against the net neutrality. If you've not read it, check it out.

Anyway, J was reading it to me because he thought it was funny - I said "don't read that kind of stuff to me! It's not funny, it just makes me want to kill people!"

What do you guys think about sponsoring a mailing to the people of Alaska that include some choice quotes of Mr. Stevens and asking them in large print IS THIS REALLY WHO YOU WANT REPRESENTING YOU IN WASHINGTON?

Lord, if Jefferson could see this, he'd weep.

WHAT THE F&$# IS IT EVER GOING TO BE EASIER?

Okay, so mom's in the hospital. She originally went in to have a seroma removed, as it was grapefruit or more sized and was making it difficult for her to bend over. Not a big deal; not expected to go beyond the fat layer.

Turns out it had grown into the mesh that had been placed over the weak spot of a previous hernia surgery; between that and another hernia that seemed to be developing to the left, the surgery was more complicated than expected. She's in the hospital on a morphine drip. She is, and I say this with much love (and she'd agree with me) a CRAPPY patient.

Okay, so I'm in the hospital with a 3 1/2 yr old and a 2 yr old. That was a blast. Realized that they both desperately needed naps, and mom told me to go ahead and go home (I was originally going to make a pallet for them on the floor with blankets) - so now I'm at the old house; C is asleep and M, of course, never went down after I took her (asleep!) out of the car. Did I mention we're potty training M? She did very well today - she waited until we were in the hospital dining room, far away from my bag of clean clothes etc., to have an accident. Oy.

The power is getting cut off at this house day after tomorrow. We can't get the pressure washer we borrowed from my dad to start. (I fricking HATE small engine things. Lawnmowers, you name it.) I have to be at the hospital at 7am tomorrow so I can talk to the doctor. Our friend Sue (bless her soul) is going to come to our house at 8:30 to watch the kids, because J can't get off work until about noon.

I started mood stabilizer medication last wednesday or so - hard to tell if there's been any difference; I sure noticed the difference when I remembered to start taking my flax seed oil capsules. Regardless, the stress is beginning to get to me. Between my mother, the house, our finances, and my (#*&@(#$*@# feet (heel spurs, and I think I've pulled both calf muscles) and the fact that I have a two year old who's enjoying being 2, and a 3 1/2 yr old who is going through potty training - I'm about to cry for no discernible reason. Oh, and my laptop isn't working as well with Ubuntu as we hoped, so I'm going back to Mac OsX, assuming we can find a #(*#@$@#&( copy, as I've managed to find Justin's original laptop cds, but not mine)

Disobedient children. I'm right on the edge of losing it. Would anybody like to take my kids for a few days? They're stressed out because they've spent so much time at my parents' house and have had no schedule and haven't seen a whole lot of J and I...

Okay, fuck it, am taking the kids and picking up J. Never got M to sleep and she's getting into stuff. Hope all is well with all of you. I'll concentrate on remembering the half-full part of the glass. (Mom came out of surgery fine, the kids are healthy, J's got a steady well paying job, we're living in a nice house, we have a nice car...)

I made the jump!

Okay, it's almost 1:30 am - so much for getting to bed early.

Blew away Mac OSX and installed Ubuntu on my iBook today. Have been putting all my files back on, installing packages, tweaking kernel... so far the only letdown has been Flash problems. (Macromedia doesn't support me, wah!)

Exhausted. Have been for days. So much to do. I hate moving. Lots of news. J not celiac disease, yay! Heard Brandie was pregnant, congrats to her, I know she was trying. I wonder if she still finds being compared to Coulter amusing.

Hope all is well with y'all.

I love weather like this - it means I can get 94.5 FM. New address, phone #, etc. - want them?

A dinner I was proud of

Yesterday was John's birthday (hope he got my voicemail; I still have to take his present to him... hope he doesn't already have it!) and today is Erin's birthday... and last night I made a wonderful dinner and neither one of them got any; that doesn't seem right, somehow.

J had the idea to make stuffed bell peppers and as a treat for M, chocolate fondue for dessert. I made ground pork, rice made with ham stock, onions, fresh garlic, chopped up bell pepper bits (the tops of the red, yellow, & orange peppers we stuffed), pecorino romano cheese, and seasoned nicely.... mmmmmm.

And the fondue was a big hit. I should have gotten a picture of C; he wore quite a bit. He liked the strawberries, M liked the cheesecake (yes, she's my daughter) and J introduced me to Lorna Doone cookies. (bad bad bad bad bad - how have I not eaten these before?) I think J liked the bananas best.

Earlier in the day, I did some voice recording for P's office IVR system. I've discovered a new talent, and it pays... maybe if I get enough of these side hobbies I can actually make some money! Decorative cakes, face painting, voice recordings (I've always wanted to read books on tape...) Afterwards, giddy at having no children, P let me drive his car. WHEEEEEEEEEE! Man, I miss having a sports car. And I've NEVER had a sports car with that much power. *drool* And no, I didn't get pulled over, I didn't wreck his car, I DID momentarily give both him & J a heart attack, but that's just 'cause they're wusses and didn't realize that yes, I had plenty of room going around that car, thank you.

Ran into my old friend/ex-lover/whatever Jake at the comic book store. He looked great; this town is too small not to run into your past everywhere. (That's why I think longingly of moving elsewhere sometimes.) He's one of those people that I have equal numbers of fond memories and awful memories. *sigh*

I'm sitting here at the dining room table stressing out and trying not to. It's making me nauseated. I have to come up with $1235 by 6:30 tonight. It's probably going to mean me borrowing money from my mother again. God, I hate that. I can't wait until the house is sold and we can pay her back for good.

Okay, taking up way too much space on the blog...

I put together the entire conversation here and there have been a few additions since the original post.

Again, comments, opinions, etc. welcome.

And again I say, places to get information would be considered an early birthday present! If my friend here and I can't have a conversation that gets into detail on the Bush administration and what exactly has transpired and our opinions on it, I'm still wanting to have the conversation.

Stef, I respect your "I don't talk politics" rule - I'm sure it's saved you a lot of stress and quite a few friendships. ;) What do you read, then, when it comes to politics? I mean, the left has its Americablog et al, what blogs & news sources do you read that are more right oriented?

I need your opinion...

The following is an email exchange between me and a man I've known for years now.


{moved to webpage because it's taking up waaaaay too much space on this blog page}

He's not responded to that last one yet. The more I read it, the more disappointed I am, really. Prior to this email exchange I'd run into him in Home Depot and discovered that he supported Bush et al, and expressing disbelief I said we'd have to sit down & talk about it. He told me then that there were things I didn't know; that I had to remember he still had friends 'in the business' and that I shouldn't believe the media. When I spoke with him on IM at some point after that, I mentioned that I'd just returned from my first march (I joined FSU, TCC & FAMU students marching on the Capitol demanding justice for Martin Lee Anderson, the kid who died in the Florida boot camp due to "complications from sickle cell trait.") His (very condescending) response started out with "have you completely strangled your common sense?" and progressed to basically saying that this kid got what he deserved, and that he supported the death penalty, etc. I got pretty upset and called him a barbarian, so to be fair perhaps in this email exchange he's still feeling offended by how emotionally I reacted to the IM conversation. (Part of his logic about the death penalty was this: I didn't have a problem killing somebody to keep them from hurting myself, my family, my close friends, or a bystander - so why should the passage of time matter? To this day, I still cannot understand how he could not see the difference between me shooting a man to keep him from killing my husband, or electrocuting a man after he's already killed my husband. To me, the first is defense/preemption - the second revenge. Am I nuts here?)

I used to respect this man, and I made allowances for his overbearing behaviour, his condescention, his faint sexism and misogynism in his speech - I said he was older, he was military, he was a lawyer... but I don't know what to say to this.

After J read this email exchange (I BCC'd him copies) he called me from his office and told me that he was so angry that he was actually sick to his stomach. He said that he couldn't believe anybody that would profess to be a friend who cared about me would speak to me that way.

While that had occurred to me, I frankly have had that happen so often with 'friends' that it's not usually the first thing that comes to mind in situations like this. What I still keep coming back to is this: HE DIDN'T ANSWER ANY OF MY QUESTIONS. I don't understand that. He had no response, no explanation, no reasoning for why anything I mentioned or asked about was wrong, was reasonable, was sucky but unavoidable, etc. - his entire response consisted of patting me on the head and saying that I wasn't capable of having a conversation about it. (Is that what you get out of it, too? Am I reading too much into what he said?)

So I'm asking the general public. Pass it on. To those of you that don't know either of us, what do you think? And do any of you know of any places where the questions I raised ARE addressed? Because I honestly would like answers.

That's it, I'm done.

Was looking back through the calendar - the kids have been sick almost constantly since we moved in here. We're spending $400+ a month on gas, and it suddenly occurs to me that I didn't have such a horrendous snoring problem before moving here either...

Definitely selling the house.

I should be reading more Orwell

If you've not read "Not Counting Niggers" a 1939 essay by George Orwell, you should.

And then come tell me what you think about its resonance in today's news.

Dilemma

Praise Allah, my children are asleep.

So do I take a nap too, or finish what I'm working on?

I have a headache. Perhaps I'll see how much sleep I can get.

Am I thirty already?

Yes, you dope, and you're going to be thirty-one this year.

I was checking my email just a second ago and, getting nothing, (not even spam, amazingly) remembered when I was working for the Department of Labor... I was practically running a mailing list out of my cubicle. It had started off as a Gaelic language list, and a few of us had gotten too chatty, so we created a side list for off-topic conversations. I had a lot of what I would call friends on that list... one of them sent me a stained glass shamrock that I gave to Uncle Patrick this year. What sort of scares me is that I don't remember any of their names. In fact, were I to read my emails back and forth to them, not only would I not remember them, I wouldn't remember saying the things I'd typed.

I know this, not because I have any of those old emails, but because when I Google myself, I find myself popping up on messageboards and having conversations that I have no recollection of. NONE. Usually I'll remember having been active on that board, and having conversations/arguments - but none of the topics will ring any bells.

My brain works almost entirely on association. Take the trip home from swimming at Maclay today - we stopped at the grocery store; J & M went in - C was asleep in the back seat, so he & I just hung out in the car. I was entering data on the really nifty gift J had gotten as a handmedown technology gift and given to me (he knew I'd love it - it's an iPaq) and was entering John's info, having been thinking of him earlier (because he's a sweetie and is watching my kids for me while I go to a psych appt.) I actually had his birthday and his & Robin's anniversary in my phone calendar, and so then started entering Robin's info next. When J got back in the car, out of the blue (to him) I asked if Robin had gotten the Dean of Students job yet. Actually, I'm not even sure if I said "Dean of Students", I might just have said "job" - I forget that people I'm talking to haven't been privy to my train of thought. Needless to say, it took him a few moments of WTF? to catch up to where I was. The point of this little vignette was to show that for outsiders, even if it SOUNDS like I just made a comment out of left field on Mars, I actually DID have a path that got me there.

And the point of mentioning that was to say that even when I read these old arguments, 9 times out of 10 they don't trigger that kind of memory reflex. I'm thinking it might be scorched earth - times of extreme emotional stress blank out parts of my brain. I'm wondering if I'll ever get those memories back, or if they're gone for good...

Did I have a point? I'm not sure. I was a basket case last night and again this afternoon/early evening - I'm guessing it's PMS, as it's getting towards the end of the month. Last night I'd asked Patrick for a humongous favor - to let me practice face painting on him. (J having a beard, that kinda made using him more difficult.) I'd talked to Moira's teacher Nancy and since I used to draw things on the kids' hands every day at the end of school, but hadn't done it in weeks, I wanted to do something kinda special before they left - she said it would be great if I came Thursday and I could do painting then. So I've been perusing face painting sites; getting ideas and tips and looking at step-by-step instructions, and was getting kind of excited about it... which might explain why when Patrick basically laughed incredulously and said hell no, I was more upset than one would assume. (That and I had run out of patience earlier with children, and was getting somewhat emotional - not a good mix, that.) I forget if it were he or J that said that it just didn't sound like something that would be any fun for them. I said well, then the next time either of you asks me for a favor, if it doesn't sound like something that I might remotely enjoy, then you can both fuck off.

Emotional much? Yeah. I put the kids to bed and then stayed in the back by myself. J later told me that he was proud of me for telling him that I just couldn't be around people right now, and taking myself off the bench, so to speak - several years ago I wouldn't have been able to do that. He's right - not that it made me feel enormously better at the time, mind you. J said that game night with P went well and that they had a lot of fun, which I was glad to hear, because god knows I wasn't in the mood. [Stef, btw, I'm talking about Dungeons and Dragons gaming, I forgot I'd never clarified that for you. Yes, we are übergeeks.]

For those of you interested in face painting, there are some adorable and fricking amazing ones here.

It's now 2:07am, and I can't believe I'm still futzing around with my webpage and half watching old West Wings with J. I guess I'll sleep when I'm dead.

Blech

Got a phone call from school; had to go pick up Moira because there was some kind of electrical problem - no power.

I'm watching the video of the White House Correspondents' Banquet. I must say, the conspiracy theorist that lives in my brain says "hrm, interesting that Bush has offered to redo the press area, which means they'll have to move out this summer for some period of time... wonder if Bush et al is looking forward to the press not being as close?"

In reading more about the new book "Kingdom Coming: The Rise of Christian Nationalism" by Michelle Goldberg, I've become truly alarmed. Truly.

An excerpt:

A few days before Bush's second inauguration, The New York Times carried a story headlined "Warning from a Student of Democracy's Collapse" about Fritz Stern, a refugee from Nazi Germany, professor emeritus of history at Columbia, and scholar of fascism. It quoted a speech he had given in Germany that drew parallels between Nazism and the American religious right. "Some people recognized the moral perils of mixing religion and politics," he was quoted saying of prewar Germany, "but many more were seduced by it. It was the pseudo-religious transfiguration of politics that largely ensured [Hitler's] success, notably in Protestant areas."

It's not surprising that Stern is alarmed. Reading his forty-five-year-old book "The Politics of Cultural Despair: A Study in the Rise of the Germanic Ideology," I shivered at its contemporary resonance. "The ideologists of the conservative revolution superimposed a vision of national redemption upon their dissatisfaction with liberal culture and with the loss of authoritative faith," he wrote in the introduction. "They posed as the true champions of nationalism, and berated the socialists for their internationalism, and the liberals for their pacifism and their indifference to national greatness."

Fascism isn't imminent in America. But its language and aesthetics are distressingly common among Christian nationalists. History professor Roger Griffin described the "mobilizing vision" of fascist movements as "the national community rising Phoenix-like after a period of encroaching decadence which all but destroyed it" (his italics). The Ten Commandments has become a potent symbol of this dreamed-for resurrection on the American right.

True, our homegrown quasi-fascists often appear so absurd as to seem harmless. Take, for example, American Veterans in Domestic Defense, the organization that took the Ten Commandments on tour. The group says it exists to "neutralize the destructiveness" of America's "domestic enemies," which include "biased liberal, socialist news media," "the ACLU," and "the conspiracy of an immoral film industry." To do this, it aims to recruit former military men. "AVIDD reminds all American Veterans that you took an oath to defend the United States against all enemies, 'both foreign and domestic,'" its Web site says. "In your military capacity, you were called upon to defend the United States against foreign enemies. AVIDD now calls upon you to continue to fulfill your oath and help us defend this nation on the political front, against equally dangerous domestic enemies."

According to Jim Cabaniss, the seventy-two-year-old Korean War veteran who founded AVIDD, the group now has thirty-three chapters across the country. It's entirely likely that some of these chapters just represent one or two men, and as of 2005, AVIDD didn't seem large enough to be much of a danger to anyone.

Still, it's worth noting that thousands of Americans nationwide have flocked to rallies at which military men don uniforms and pledge to seize the reins of power in America on behalf of Christianity. In many places, local religious leaders and politicians lend their support to AVIDD's cause. And at least some of the people at these rallies speak with seething resentment about the tyranny of Jews over America's Christian majority.

"People who call themselves Jews represent maybe 2 or 3 percent of our people," Cabaniss told me after a January 2005 rally in Austin. "Christians represent a huge percent, and we don't believe that a small percentage should destroy the values of the larger percentage."

I asked Cabaniss, a thin, white-haired man who wore a suit with a red, white, and blue tie and a U.S. Army baseball cap, whether he was saying that American Jews have too much power. "It appears that way," he replied. "They're a driving force behind trying to take everything to do with Christianity out of our system. That's the part that makes us very upset."

Ed Hamilton, who'd come to the rally from San Antonio, interjected, "There are very wealthy Jews in high places, and they have significant control over a lot of financial matters and some political matters. They have disproportionate amount of influence in our financial structure."

And more:

Roy Moore and Rick Scarborough are Baptists, D. James Kennedy is a fundamentalist Presbyterian, and John Eidsmoe is a Lutheran. All of them, however, have been shaped by dominion theology, which asserts that, in preparation for the second coming of Christ, godly men have the responsibility to take over every aspect of society.

Dominion theology comes out of Christian Reconstructionism, a fundamentalist creed that was propagated by the late Rousas John (R. J.) Rushdoony and his son-in-law, Gary North. Born in New York City in 1916 to Armenian immigrants who had recently fled the genocide in Turkey, Rushdoony was educated at the University of California at Berkeley and spent over eight years as a Presbyterian missionary to Native Americans in Nevada. He was a prolific writer, churning out dense tomes advocating the abolition of public schools and social services and the replacement of civil law with biblical law. White-bearded and wizardly, Rushdoony had the look of an Old Testament patriarch and the harsh vision to match -- he called for the death penalty for gay people, blasphemers, and unchaste women, among other sinners. Democracy, he wrote, is a heresy and "the great love of the failures and cowards of life."

Reconstructionism is a postmillennial theology, meaning its followers believe Jesus won't return until after Christians establish a thousand year reign on earth. While other Christians wait for the messiah, Reconstructionists want to build the kingdom themselves. Most American evangelicals, on the other hand, are premillennialists. They believe (with some variations) that at the time of Christ's return, Christians will be gathered up to heaven, missing the tribulations endured by unbelievers. In the past, this belief led to a certain apathy -- why worry if the world is about to end and you'll be safe from the carnage?

Since the 1970s, though, in tandem with the rise of the religious right, premillennialism has been politicized. A crucial figure in this process was the seminal evangelical writer Francis Schaeffer, an American who founded L'Abri, a Christian community in the Swiss Alps where religious intellectuals gathered to talk and study. As early as the 1960s, Schaeffer was reading Rushdoony and holding seminars on his work. Schaeffer went on to write a series of highly influential books elucidating the idea of the Christian worldview. A Christian Manifesto, published in 1981, described modern history as a contest between the Christian worldview and the materialist one, saying, "These two world views stand as totals in complete antithesis to each other in content and also in their natural results -- including sociological and government results, and specifically including law."

Schaeffer was not a theocrat, but he drew on Reconstructionist ideas of America as an originally Christian nation. In "A Christian Manifesto," he warned against wrapping Christianity in the American flag, but added, "None of this, however, changes the fact that the United States was founded upon a Christian consensus, nor that we today should bring Judeo-Christian principles into play in regard to government." Schaeffer was one of the first evangelical leaders to get deeply involved in the fight against abortion, and he advocated civil disobedience and the possible use of force to stop it. "It is time we consciously realize that when any office commands what is contrary to God's Law it abrogates its authority," he wrote.

Tim LaHaye, who is most famous for putting a Tom Clancy gloss on premillennialist theology in the Left Behind thrillers that he co-writes with Jerry Jenkins, was heavily influenced by Schaeffer, to whom he dedicated his book "The Battle for the Mind." That book married Schaeffer's theories to a conspiratorial view of history and politics, arguing, "Most people today do not realize what humanism really is and how it is destroying our culture, families, country -- and, one day, the entire world. Most of the evils in the world today can be traced to humanism, which has taken over our government, the UN, education, TV, and most of the other influential things of life.

"We must remove all humanists from public office and replace them with pro-moral political leaders," LaHaye wrote.

As premillennialists grew to embrace the goal of dominion, they made alliances with Reconstructionists. In 1984, Jay Grimstead, a disciple of Francis Schaeffer, brought important pre- and post-millennialists together to form the Coalition on Revival (COR) in order to lay a blueprint for taking over American life. Tim LaHaye was an original member of COR's steering committee, along with Rushdoony, North, creationist Duane Gish, D. James Kennedy, and the Reverend Donald Wildmon of the influential American Family Association.

Between 1984 and 1986, COR developed seventeen "worldview" documents, which elucidate the "Christian" position on most aspects of life. Just as political Islam is often called Islamism to differentiate the fascist political doctrine from the faith, the ideology laid out in these papers could be called Christianism. The documents outline a complete political program, with a "biblically correct" position on issues like taxes (God favors a flat rate), public schools (generally frowned upon), and the media and the arts ("We deny that any pornography and other blasphemy are permissible as art or 'free speech'").

In a 1988 letter to supporters, Grimstead announced the completion of a high school curriculum "using the COR Worldview Documents as textbooks." Since then, there's been a proliferation of schools, books, and seminars devoted to inculcating the correct Christian worldview in students and activists. Charles Colson accepts one hundred people annually into his yearlong "worldview training" courses, which include meetings in Washington, D.C., online seminars, "mentoring," and several hours of homework each week. "The program will be heavily weighted towards how to think," Colson's Web site says. It's intended for those who work in churches, media, law, government, and education, and who can thus teach others to think the same way.

Those who don't have a year to spare can attend one of more than a dozen Worldview Weekend conferences held every year in churches nationwide. Popular speakers include the revisionist Christian nationalist historian David Barton, David Limbaugh (Rush's born-again brother), and evangelical former sitcom star Kirk Cameron. In 2003, Tom DeLay was a featured speaker at a Worldview Weekend at Rick Scarborough's former church in Pearland, Texas. He told the crowd, "Only Christianity offers a comprehensive worldview that covers all areas of life and thought, every aspect of creation. Only Christianity offers a way to live in response to the realities that we find in this world. Only Christianity."

Speaking to outsiders, most Christian nationalists say they're simply responding to anti-Christian persecution. They say that secularism is itself a religion, one unfairly imposed on them. They say they're the victims in the culture wars. But Christian nationalist ideologues don't want equality, they want dominance. In his book "The Changing of the Guard: Biblical Principles for Political Action," George Grant, former executive director of D. James Kennedy's Coral Ridge Ministries, wrote:

"Christians have an obligation, a mandate, a commission, a holy responsibility to reclaim the land for Jesus Christ -- to have dominion in civil structures, just as in every other aspect of life and godliness.
But it is dominion we are after. Not just a voice.
It is dominion we are after. Not just influence.
It is dominion we are after. Not just equal time.
It is dominion we are after.
World conquest. That's what Christ has commissioned us to accomplish. We must win the world with the power of the Gospel. And we must never settle for anything less...
Thus, Christian politics has as its primary intent the conquest of the land -- of men, families, institutions, bureaucracies, courts, and governments for the Kingdom of Christ."

Whatever happened to "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"? or "Love thy neighbor as yourself?"

I'm in the middle of changing medication so my mental resilience is less than normal - and it's not very good normally anyway.

After an interesting exchange with my mother today, I've had enough. What do YOU think?

4:54:36 PM mom: can i have a couple of hours on sunday night?
4:55:10 PM mom: just 8th grade - shouldn't be too bad
4:55:27 PM cearashoffstall: I don't know if J has something planned for Sunday, you'll have to ask him
4:56:55 PM mom: don't have his im addr4ess
4:57:00 PM mom: what is it
4:57:38 PM cearashoffstall: he's not online at the moment, but you can call him at his office I would guess
4:59:38 PM mom: let me get this straight
5:00:40 PM mom: i need to ask your husband if it's okay for you to come over to help me with the proof reading, is that it?
5:01:26 PM cearashoffstall: it's Mother's Day and I heard him talking with the kids and making plans, so yes, you need to ask MY PARTNER if he has something planned so I don't plan something without asking him because THAT WOULD BE RUDE.

she dropped it at that point.

Moira is currently having a meltdown because she wants a diaper and I'm not giving her one. *sigh* I guess this is the equivalent of struggles other parents have with bottles or pacifiers, both of which we avoided.

Pathetic

I've lost track of how many times in the last week I've thought "Ooh, I should make a blog entry about that so as not to forget/see what people think/because it's nifty" and by the time I'm near my computer I am so tired that whatever it is has long since escaped my head....


J picked up Patrick on the way home yesterday - I took him home around 1am and promptly got caught in the high wind - hail - constant lightning - blinding rain trying to get home. I made it half a block before I said the hell with this and turned around to wait it out at his apartment. Considering I'd already been so tired I was falling asleep while driving, this wasn't helping. Fortunately I only had to wait half an hour. Not long enough to watch the Crossing Jordan P TiVoed for me, dangit.

J & I have both lost our keys, so let me know if you come across them.

C is entirely too awake. I'm going to try for more sleep.

Oh, I heard Mamaw & Papaw are coming down soon! That should be fun. Maybe we'll get in a skip-bo game. *grin*

Uber-geek

I Am A: Chaotic Good Elf Bard Ranger


Alignment:
Chaotic Good characters are independent types with a strong belief in the value of goodness. They have little use for governments and other forces of order, and will generally do their own things, without heed to such groups.


Race:
Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.


Primary Class:
Bards are the entertainers. They sing, dance, and play instruments to make other people happy, and, frequently, make money. They also tend to dabble in magic a bit.


Secondary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.


Deity:
Hanali Cenanil is the Chaotic Good elven goddess of love, beauty, and art. She is also known as the Heart of Gold and Lady Goldheart. Her followers delight in creation and youth, and work to spread happiness, love, and beauty. Their preferred weapon is the dagger.


Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy ofNeppyMan (e-mail)




J was a Chaotic Good Elf Monk Druid. We're well matched. {grin} P was a Lawful Good Half-orc Ranger Fighter. (yes, he's interesting like that.)