Remember when I said that I'd kept saying "It's not a bad day....

..... because nobody's died"? Well, I was wrong. I just didn't find out about it until today.

My friend Sarah's (who was Maid of Honor at my 1st wedding, and my best friend throughout most of high school) father (well, step-) died on her birthday last tuesday. Ken was a professor at FSU, he was smart as hell, smart-aleck, funny, patient with us... Sarah said he'd gone downhill a lot in the last year, and was just sick of it, so three weeks ago he stopped eating and drinking.

I have a hard time imagining what it's like to watch that. I get teary-eyed just thinking about it.

So, that puts my kvetching into perspective.

I'm going to go start packing and cleaning and whatnot. (Yes, we're moving again. No, I don't want to hear it.)

Nobody died, so today was okay.

I just need to change my metrics and my days will markedly improve.

My sister-in-law has very graciously agreed to watch my little monster during my psych appt. in the morning. (As hubby is going to be at work all night until some obscene time this morning due to a catastrophic crash.)

My other sister-in-law (and her husband and two kids) will be back in town with a spiffy new job in January for him, which is way cool. All the cousins can finally play together again.

My father was not sent to the ER again. He's on IV fluids and hopefully will take this as a lesson: yes, the thick liquids are nasty. You still have to drink, or you get this dehydrated again and you'll be in trouble.

Filled out my application for readmission to FSU - depending on financial aid, I'm going back to school to finish my bachelor's degree.

Our financial situation has not gotten any worse.

My aunt is in the doughnut-hole period of medicare prescription coverage and hasn't had her antidepressants in two weeks or so - can't afford them. However, I think I might have somebody to call tomorrow that could get her some help.

My children are healthy and intelligent.

The Greek Food Festival is this weekend!!!

So how have you been?

There's my exercise for the day

We walked down to Jr. Museum & met Aunt Logan & her boys. The neighborhood kids were playing next door, and I yelled "hey, we're going to the Junior Museum, y'all wanna come?" They were thrilled. So I finally got to use my passes! Four of them and four of us and Logan's 2 - we were a crew. It wasn't as cool as I'd hoped outside, but it wasn't bad either. I wore the wrong shoes, however, that I've not worn for months, so my feet are killing me. Pulled the kids around the park in the wagon that Logan has let us have for an extended period of time - it was hysterical, evidently the animals get fed by people pulling around red wagons, because the turkeys chased us all around the deer walk - some of them even got airborne! - and the otters followed us the whole way across, standing up on their back legs and looking through the low peep windows.

I've decided that if we're this broke the heck with it, I'll apply for financial aid and see if I can go back to school. J & I can repeat family history and go live in Alumni Village!

Hey, by the way - 3 bedroom 2 bath in Killearn Acres - make offer. Spread the news.

As I sit in the hospital

CNN is on the television. Bleah.

Dad seems to be doing amazingly well, considering he's had a stroke. His right side is weak, but still functional. There doesn't seem to be any cognitive loss - he's a bit more emotional, but hell, who wouldn't be? The trouble swallowing is probably the worst result - at the moment he can't drink anything but nectar-thick liquids (and I can't imagine what nectar-thick coffee is like, ew) and is eating a pureed diet.

So, looking at him, you'd never know he's had a stroke. Dad is made of iron. I hope I've inherited that toughness...

Frustration levels rising

If I get stressed out enough, is it possible that I might explode?

Update if anybody cares

Consultation with another doctor has sent dad back to the hospital. He's been waiting in central registration for a few hours now, and mom says they've been told there's a bed available in 5 minutes. This doctor thinks dad has had a stroke. His continued weakness, especially on right side, tends to back that up. The clear CT scan from the ER puzzles me, however. Oh well, I'm not a doctor.

My eye is better, thanks. It's not swollen shut today, which is nice - it's really hard to drive around when your good eye isn't available. Everything's blurry and not as far away as you think it is.

Today, like the last week or so, has been a day of either doing TWENTY THINGS AT ONCE or falling into a chair and passing out - and before falling asleep thinking "aren't I supposed to be doing something? Wasn't I in the middle of something?..."

Hopefully tonight I will get some decent sleep.

Gotta go pack stuff up for mom at the hospital - now where did I put that list down?....

if any of you out there pray

Please keep my dad in your thoughts. He's been sent to the hospital with the possible symptoms of a stroke.


***UPDATE***
It's a little after midnight and I've just gotten home from the hospital. The doctor thinks dad had a TIA (Transient Ischemic Attack), as the tests have come back clean. This means dad is much more likely to have a real stroke in the next year, which is unpleasant, but there shouldn't be any long term bad effects from this episode, which is good.

In a truth-is-stranger-than-fiction moment, as we happened to be taken into the back of the ER to wait in a bed next to the wall, I see my brother-in-law the cop. :) It was wonderful timing, as I started to break down at that point watching my father FALL APART. I have NEVER seen my father cry like that. Mom was telling the doctor that in 33 years of marriage she'd never seen him like this. Mike gave me a much needed hug, and talking to him helped me get myself back under control. I think having a man in uniform asking the nurse if they were aware that we were concerned dad was HAVING A STROKE got us faster attention than might have otherwise appeared. (Since at that point dad had been waiting in the ER waiting room for 3 hours.) And although I'm not a religious person, I got teary eyed when right before he left he asked dad if he could pray with him. Dad being an old-school baptist, I'm sure it meant a lot to him too.

And totally unrelated to anything, I have conjunctivitis. *sigh*

In discussing porn

J & I were lying here discussing what we do & don't find sexy, and I realized part way into the conversation that we were talking exclusively about pictures of girls. So out of curiousity, I'm flipping through "sexiest men alive" webpages to see if there are pictures of guys that would do it for me - most male porn stars are hired for the length of their schlongs, which does nothing for me (if I wanted to see a foot long penis, I'd go to a barnyard, thanks) and they look, well, like dogs. I'm wondering how many of the famous men have naked shots the way most famous women seem to now...

So I'm making a list of who I find attractive, and I'll go from there.
Antonio Banderas. (NICE ASS)
Johnny Depp
Alan Rickman
Vince Vaughn isn't bad
Daniel Craig has possibilities
Dougray Scott, but I've not seen him in much
Val Kilmer, although I think he's a little hit or miss
Clive Owen (definitely; I thought he was sexy looong ago)
Brad Pitt is hit or miss for me
George Clooney, but I'm not sure how much of that is mental
oooo, Jake Gyllenhaal...
Heath Ledger isn't bad either
Orlando Bloom
Ethan Hawke (whatever happened to him?)
Russell Crowe very rarely does it for me
Benjamin Bratt
Duh, how could I forget Pierce Brosnan?
I used to find Bruce Willis adorable in Moonlighting, but it's been a while...
Jerry O'Connell
Tim Curry
John Travolta is more of an "awe, he's cute" occasionally
when Mel Gibson - or I - was a little younger, I think I liked him... hard to remember now
Matt Damon
Keanu Reeves has his moments, but I always worry that he's a moron, and stupidity turns me off
Occasionally Denzel Washington pops up on my radar
Matthew McConaughey has a few times that I've gone ooo, but isn't consistent
Christian Bale
Hugh Grant has something that makes me look twice, but after that, I'm not sure I want to keep looking...
Stuart Townsend as Dorian Grey was sexy, but I've not found him attractive otherwise...
Eric McCormack
Sting (how could I forget?)
Sean Bean
I like Hugh Jackman in his wolverine makeup, does that count?
maybe one out of a hundred Leonardo DiCaprio pictures look good to me
I think of Sean Connery it's the voice I find sexy
Elijah Wood (ooooo)
Ben Affleck comes & goes
Tobey Maguire
Mark Ruffalo isn't bad
Ewan McGregor
Viggo Mortensen (or did I just get wrapped up in Middle Earth? But no, he writes poetry!)
Joseph Fiennes
Harrison Ford
Ralph Fiennes
many years ago, maybe Tom Hanks? Nah.
John Cusack


My list is already much longer than I was anticipating. I'm going to bed.

What an absolutely lovely day...

J had the brilliant idea to go down to the ocean today. We originally went down to Mashes Sands. Saw horseshoe crabs mating, how cool! However, the water was pretty full of stuff and once I got down there I kinda wanted to actually get in... so we drove down and said "what the hey" and ended up on St. George Island. Absolutely perfect weather, gorgeous water, J saw the largest stingray ever... other than the new bathroom buildings, which SUCK, it was wonderful. We came out of the water hungry enough to eat entire horses, and drove over to Apalachicola... asked a local for a good seafood restaurant that wouldn't break the bank nor quibble over our appearance (rather sandy & bedraggled by that point) and he sent us to Papa Joe's.

I ate the BEST OYSTERS EVER tonight. EVER. I can't wait to go back. The cheese grits were to die for. The hushpuppies, wow! The shrimp & grouper were great too. So heads-up to any of you in the area - check them out. Decent prices and seafood fresh enough it practically slaps you.

On the drive home, the kids fell asleep in the backseat, J & I got to flip around the dial listening to music, and the full moon rose reddish orange, then yellow, then white, shining its path on the water as we drove by. All in all, a beautiful, very restful day. I didn't stress out about anything, it was great. Maybe we'll do this more often! :)

This is amazing

I'm watching Bill Moyers' On America right now, about the Abramoff scandal - it is doing a LOVELY job of explaining things, and holy cow what a bunch of crooks. Take a look.

My mental voice to myself sounds a lot like this guy writes

"And I think to myself, "holy shit. That's it. This is the conversation that led to the August 6 PDB being put in print. The C.I.A. was literally covering their ass and for damn good reason (not that it did them any good) as the president remarked so caustically to his briefer down on the ranch. They had a pretty damn good idea what was coming and therefore put it into print and sent a briefer down to the ranch. "

Thanks, I needed a laugh

1. After reading about how the EPA is closing down its libraries, people defending Mark Foley and the actions of his party, Tom Coburn's refusal to allow the Breast Cancer Environmental Research Act come to a vote because "we're spending enough money on breast cancer" (even though enough women die from breast cancer to account for the equivalent of 13 September 11th attacks a year), the House of Representatives has now made it more difficult to attempt lawsuits challenging unconstitutional government actions advancing religion, the teacher who I believe has been fired for showing her students nudity in a museum (!!OMG!) I came across this.

The phone calls I get...

My aunt left me a message today. She said she wanted to install some software she had just gotten, and in attempting to follow the instructions that say "please make sure all other programs are closed" she wanted to know if that meant windows, too, and if so, how did she close windows? It automatically opened every time she started the computer up.

*sigh*

Is there a resource for people this illiterate? I mean, where can I send her, besides me? Because it's been years that I've been getting questions like this one (how do I save attachments, where did my attachments from AOL save to, I did so and so last time but this time it's not working, how do I save a file, how do I save a picture, how do I cut and paste, I know you already explained this to me once but can you tell me one more time) and I've been running perilously close to the FUCK ALL OF YOU edge for the last year or so and it's getting worse daily. I wonder if computers for dummies comes in an audiobook...

And don't get me started on the questions that mom asks J, which are slightly less idiotic.

That's funny, I keep asking this question too

A quote:

from a radio address he (President Bush) made just a few weeks ago:

The security of the civilized world depends on victory in the war on terror, and that depends on victory in Iraq.

The security of the civilized world! I'd say that's pretty important, so the President must be giving our military every possible resource to accomplish its goal, right? Even if it involves calling for sacrifice, perhaps suspending tax breaks for the wealthiest 1% of America, or encouraging big business to pitch in to the war effort, or simply publicly asking Americans to join the military? Since I don't see any of that happening, I guess our troops have must everything they need. Wait . . . they don't? They don't??

The pressures that the conflict in Iraq is putting on the Army are apparent amid the towering pine trees of southeast Georgia, where the Third Infantry Division is preparing for the likelihood that it will go back to Iraq for a third tour. Col. Tom James, who commands the division’s Second Brigade, acknowledged that his unit's equipment levels had fallen so low that it now had no tanks or other armored vehicles to use in training and that his soldiers were rated as largely untrained in attack and defense.

So between not training them in the first place, and then not funding their health care, I'm amazed my ex-armed forces friend (or anybody else) still thinks this president isn't a retarded sycophant.

Happy October

We spent our evening at a birthday party at the home of a man who has his own fricking wikipedia entry.