Sitting inside on a rainy day

A thought just occurred to me.

In all the kerfuffle about the McCains lying about how Mother Teresa herself implored Cindy to take two babies to America for medical treatment, I just realized - Cindy McCain brought TWO babies to the United States. One she adopted and is now Bridget McCain - whatever happened to the other one?

The strange thing about all this is the lie itself. Cindy McCain goes over there, one of the nuns 'persuades' her to take some kids home for medical treatment that they wouldn't be able to get locally, Cindy agrees. How does lying about it being Mother Teresa herself asking you make you look better? I mean, the nun has to persuade you to take this poor child for medical treatment when you're a multi-millionaire - the idea didn't occur to you on your own to use your money to help these less fortunate, you had to be 'persuaded'? Good for you for bringing them to the US, good for you for adopting one. You have 7 houses (two more that other people live in) - you could have paid for a thousand children to be adopted by other people around the world who want children. Don't expect too much in the way of acclaim. A quote from one of my favorite movies: "You have been born to privilege, and with that comes specific obligations."

heading out to get my prescriptions

This is the reason I got the prescription for xanax, or whatever it is.

http://thinkprogress.org/2008/07/02/hitchens-after-being-waterboarded-believe-me-its-torture/

I'm finishing up reading this article, and my three year old son came in, and asked me (pointing at the picture) "Who's that?"

I said "That's a reporter... experiencing being... waterboarded."

And then it hit me, and I started to cry.

THIS is the country that I am bringing up my son in. A country that does this to people.

A good rule of thumb:

If you have to preface your statement with "It's none of my business, but" then IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Don't even say it.

AAAARRRRRGGGGHHH

Surrounded by children

Am sitting here in the living room.

Which is now cleaned out and cleaned up and not stacked chest high with stuff anymore, by the way. Thank you, darling husband.

Listening to mom & dad in the kitchen.

Dad was looking in the meat compartment. Bitching out loud to himself, as usual. (Usually it's yelling at the television - yesterday he was watching something talking about Obama & Hillary and he was shouting bible verses - the one about those with ears let them hear - at the tv. I called the doctor and have a prescription for xanax now.) Anyway, dad was looking for lunchmeat. Turkey, specifically. We happen to be out, and there's a lot of sausage in there. Mom's in there cleaning & unloading dishwasher. He said something about there not being any lunchmeat and I piped up that there was corned beef. So mom asks him, do you want corned beef? Back and forth, dad is like well, there's nothing else. Mom is like it's a yes or no question. Dad is like, well, I WANT turkey. Mom's like well, we don't HAVE turkey, we have corned beef, or you could have cheese, or tuna, what do you want? Dad says oh, just hand me the plates. (To put away in the cabinet.)

Mom finally had the contractor over, and has given him the go-ahead. Who knows, we may actually get the house fixed before dad dies. Or I die. Of course, we have to pick out tile and fixtures and whatnot - and considering mom has spent days - DAYS - looking at cell phones, and researching them, and going to the store to work with them hands on, only to finally order one and decide she doesn't like it and is going to return it - there's no telling how long it will take to get the house done.

It's a wonder I'm not a raging alcoholic. The amount of hand-holding is taking a mental toll. Mom wanted me to come back to her room to take a look at her new phone (a blackberry) because the ball wasn't acting the way the one in the store was, and could I take a look at it. (This was Thursday night.) I told her I was going to go spend some time with my husband, as I'd not spent a whole lot of time with him lately, and that she'd have me all day tomorrow during the day (Friday) as my office is closed Friday and I wasn't going to be working. She was pissy the rest of the night. Snapping at people, etc.

I'm trying desperately to break the cycle. I already have more bad habits from my mother than I care to admit. My husband, bless him, is good about standing up for himself and calling me on my bullshit. I don't appreciate it at the TIME, but I do appreciate it. I don't want my daughter to grow up with the same problems.

Watching the physical and mental deterioration of my parents is difficult. Some days I handle it better than others. On days like today - well, today I'm not handling anything well. Last night I got back from going to Home Depot and looking at tile and bathroom vanities with my mother, and crawled into bed in a dark room and laid there for the rest of the night. This morning I took my medicine, but it's not helped a whole lot. I don't know if I'm ramping up for my period or what, but this depression is getting old. It's been worse than usual the last few months. It could have something to do with the fact that I'm living in a room with three other people (two of whom are under 6 years old) and a rotting house full of garbage and two adults who frequently act like children with a job that's getting consistently more complex and time consuming (I'm now on the 'statewide data committee', how's that for taking up more time than the excruciatingly-part-time-secretary job that I thought I had? That's what I get for being intelligent and competent, ha.) and that I'm still paying off old debts and the car needs new tires and brakes and oh god stop the world spinning I WANT TO GET OFF


But on the bright side, I've gotten to do some wonderful things lately (my alarm just went off on my computer, and it's playing the Testament of Freedom that I got to sing at the Kennedy Center, that's a wonderful memory - and we get to sing at Carnegie Hall in 2010, and Prague in 2012!!!) - for example, I just finished a week long rowing camp - I learned how to row long skinny boats! Got the bruises to prove it, too. Ow. And I have a roof over my head, and food to eat, and two awesome kids and a husband whose patience will become legendary - so what am I complaining for? ;)

I'm going to go take a shower. Water always makes me feel better.


*edit*
The shower was nice - the adult time was even better. Got two hours to go bowl with my husband and all the people from his office.

I have to say, though - coming home to sit in the living room with the kids and having my daughter show me how good she is at feeding Gnocci (pbskids.org) while dad sits in his chair watching tv (which he does about 15 hours a day) and bitching about how loud the kids are...

they're your grandchildren. DO SOMETHING WITH THEM.

Even YOUR DOCTOR recommended you do things with them, for chrissake!

I managed not to snap at him this time. I have snapped at him in the past. (Something like "sure, because your television is SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT than your grandchildren" as I stomped off. It made no difference.)

Are YOU better off than you were 8 years ago?

From ThinkProgress:

78 percent: Those questioned in a new CNN/Opinion Research Corporation survey out this morning who rate the economic conditions as poor. “That’s up from 75 percent in March. Only 22 percent rate the economic conditions in the country as good.”

I'm betting that's the same 22% that still thinks Bush is doing a good job...


Had dinner over at my father-in-law's house the other night. While we were there, my sister-in-law (a conservative) was teasing me by whispering to my daughter "Tell mommy you want McCain to win!" - I had to fight back a surge of irritation, because it's all well and good to joke about it, but there are people DYING right now, fighting a war that should never have been started... and when you look at the economy, people are not doing well (hell, she's not doing so great herself), and McCain is just promising more of the same as Bush on the economic front... I know she's religious and pro-life, so the spectre of a Supreme Court that will reverse Roe vs. Wade doesn't bother her...

So I walked away. I don't think I'm going to change her mind on anything (heck, if the shape the country is in hasn't made her double check her assumptions, then me arguing with her isn't either) and I didn't feel up to getting into it.

I would really like to get that book "how to talk to a conservative" (it's something like that) so I have an arsenal to fight off the talking points. In the same vein, I want to learn the bible backwards and forwards, so when talking to fundies I can point out the insanity. It helps to be prepared.

Although in this case, I don't think logic would sway her. She's not the type to let reality change her mind about something. :)

Marie rocks!

But not as much as Elton John. 

Marie calls me up at 7pm and says "Hey, wanna come to the Elton John concert? I've got free tickets and you &  J can come!"   J didn't feel up to it, but told me to go and have fun.  I have to say, even though in the past I've not been a big Elton John fan, I REALLY enjoyed myself.  This man has so much fun on stage, it's hard not to smile watching him.  And very classy, too - apologized that his illness had made it hard on us here in Tallahassee when he'd had to reschedule; then after being called back on stage for his encore, he went down the front of the stage and signed a bunch of stuff for all the people clustered there, then sat down and played more.  

The sunglasses were smaller than I was expecting.  :)

Nightmares

I rarely remember my dreams.  Last night/this morning not only could I remember it, but whenever I fell asleep I jumped right back into the dream.  Which, had it not been a nightmare, could have been fun.  

Dreamt I was trapped in the USSR.  For whatever reason I couldn't get out - either couldn't find my visa, or was in trouble somehow.  I had a small child with me - twoish - which was an interesting blend of both of my children.  J had met up with somebody - possibly Bruno from the West Wing - and they'd decided to try some sort of escape plan.  I thought it was a stupid plan, and hadn't joined them.  They'd been shot.  So I'm looking frantically through my van for some sort of official paperwork, and thinking in my head that I could just go to the US Embassy and at least drop my child off there (had the child's visa) so my child would survive and make it back to the states, because I knew that somebody was going to be coming for me soon...  then some woman comes up and snatches a large envelope from under the windshield wiper, and takes off.  I have no idea why it was there, or what it was, but I assumed it was something important, so I took off after the woman and snatched it back, and as I'm heading back to my car, I see ANOTHER woman snag something from the pile of papers I've been looking through in the glove compartment and take off.  I'm now wondering if the first woman is a decoy, as I run back to the car, shut it, grab my keys and beep the lock, and turn around to see the second woman looking at me from her spot on a train as it starts to go by.  I run to try to jump on the train to get whatever this paper is back, and that's when I wake up.

Why yes, I am feeling a little trapped, why do you ask?

I am printing copies of this

I am printing many, many copies of this and I am going to hand it out at cons.

Send it to everybody you know.

7 Reasons the 21st Century is Making You Miserable
By David Wong

Scientists call it the Naked Photo Test, and it works like this: say a photo turns up of you nakedly doing something that would shame you and your family for generations. Bestiality, perhaps. Ask yourself how many people in your life you would trust with that photo. If you're like the rest of us, you probably have at most two.

Even more depressing, studies show that about one out of four people have no one they can confide in.


The average number of close friends we say we have is dropping fast, down dramatically in just the last 20 years. Why?


#1. We don't have enough annoying strangers in our lives.

That's not sarcasm. Annoyance is something you build up a tolerance to, like alcohol or a bad smell. The more we're able to edit the annoyance out of our lives, the less we're able to handle it.

The problem is we've built an awesome, sprawling web of technology meant purely to let us avoid annoying people. Do all your Christmas shopping online and avoid the fat lady ramming her cart into you at Target. Spend $5,000 on a home theater system so you can see movies on a big screen without a toddler kicking the back of your seat. Hell, rent the DVD's from Netflix and you don't even have to spend the 30 seconds with the confused kid working the register at Blockbuster.

Get stuck in the waiting room at the doctor? No way we're striking up a conversation with the smelly old man in the next seat. We'll plug the iPod into our ears and have a text conversation with a friend or play our DS. Filter that annoyance right out of our world.

Now that would be awesome if it were actually possible to keep all of the irritating shit out of your life. But, it's not. It never will be. As long as you have needs, you'll have to deal with people you can't stand from time to time. We're losing that skill, the one that lets us deal with strangers and tolerate their shrill voices and clunky senses of humor and body odor and squeaky shoes. So, what encounters you do have with the outside world, the world you can't control, make you want to go on a screaming crotch-punching spree.

Oh, yeah. Right in the crotch, buddy.

#2. We don't have enough annoying friends, either.

Lots of us were born into towns full of people we couldn't stand. As a kid, maybe you found yourself in an elementary school classroom, packed in with two dozen kids you did not choose and who shared none of your tastes or interests. Maybe you got beat up a lot.

But, you've grown up. And if you're, say, a huge DragonForce fan, you can go find their forum and meet a dozen people just like you. Or even better, start a private room with your favorite few and lock everybody else out. Say goodbye to the tedious, awkward, painful process of dealing with somebody who's truly different. That's another Old World inconvenience, like having to wash your clothes in a creek or wait for a raccoon to wander by the outhouse so you can wipe your ass with it.

The problem is that peacefully dealing with incompatible people is crucial to living in a society. In fact, if you think about it, peacefully dealing with people you can't stand is society. Just people with opposite tastes and conflicting personalities sharing space and cooperating, often through gritted teeth.

Fifty years ago, you had to sit in a crowded room to see a movie. You didn't get to choose; you either did that or you missed the movie. When you got a new car, everyone on the block came and stood in your yard to look it over. You can bet that some of those people were assholes.

Your parents, circa 1982
Yet, on the whole, people back then were apparently happier in their jobs and more satisfied with their lives. And get this: They had more friends.

That's right. Even though they had almost no ability to filter their peers according to common interests (hell, often you were just friends with the guy who happened to live next door), they still came up with more close friends than we have now-people they could trust.

It turns out, apparently, that after you get over that first irritation, after you shed your shell of "they listen to different music because they wouldn't understand mine" superiority, there's a sort of comfort in needing other people and being needed on a level beyond common interests. It turns out humans are social animals after all. And that ability to suffer fools, to tolerate annoyance, that's literally the one single thing that allows you to function in a world populated by other people who aren't you. Otherwise, you turn emo. Science has proven it.

#3. Texting is a shitty way to communicate.

I have this friend who uses the expression "No, thank you," in a sarcastic way. It means, "I'd rather be shot in the face." He puts a little ironic lilt on the last two words that lets you know. You ask, "Want to go see that new Rob Schneider movie?" And, he'll say, "No, thank you."

So one day we had this exchange via text:
Me: "Hey, do you want me to bring over that leftover chili I made?"

Him: "No, thank you"

That pissed me off. I'm proud of my chili. It takes four days to make it. I grind up the dried peppers myself; the meat is expensive, hand-tortured veal. And, now my offer to give him some is dismissed with his bitchy catchphrase?

I didn't speak to him for six months. He sent me a letter, I mailed it back, unread, with a dead rat packed inside.

It was my wife who finally ran into him and realized that the "No, thank you" he replied with was not meant to be sarcastic, but was a literal, "No, but thank you for offering." He had no room in his freezer, it turns out.  

So did we really need a study to tell us that more than 40 percent of what you say in an e-mail is misunderstood? Well, they did one anyway.

How many of your friends have you only spoken with online? If 40 percent of your personality has gotten lost in the text transition, do these people even really know you? The people who dislike you via text, on message boards or chatrooms or whatever, is it because you're really incompatible? Or, is it because of the misunderstood 40 percent? And, what about the ones who like you?

Many of us try to make up that difference in sheer numbers, piling up six dozen friends on MySpace. But here's the problem ...

#4. Online company only makes us lonelier.

When someone speaks to you face-to-face, what percentage of the meaning is actually in the words, as opposed to the body language and tone of voice? Take a guess.

It's 7 percent. The other 93 percent is nonverbal, according to studies. No, I don't know how they arrived at that exact number. They have a machine or something. But we didn't need it. I mean, come on. Most of our humor is sarcasm, and sarcasm is just mismatching the words with the tone. Like my friend's "No, thank you."

You don't wait for a girl to verbally tell you she likes you. It's the sparkle in her eyes, her posture, the way she grabs your head and shoves your face into her boobs.

That's the crux of the problem. That human ability to absorb the moods of others through that kind of subconscious osmosis is crucial. Kids born without it are considered mentally handicapped. People who have lots of it are called "charismatic" and become movie stars and politicians. It's not what they say; it's this energy they put off that makes us feel good about ourselves.

When we're living in Text World, all that is stripped away. There's a weird side effect to it, too: absent a sense of the other person's mood, every line we read gets filtered through our own mood instead. The reason I read my friend's chili message as sarcastic was because I was in an irritable mood. In that state of mind, I was eager to be offended.
And worse, if I do enough of my communicating this way, my mood never changes. After all, people keep saying nasty things to me! Of course I'm depressed! It's me against the world!

No, what I need is somebody to shake me by the shoulders and snap me out of it. Which leads us to No. 5 ...

#5. We don't get criticized enough.

Most of what sucks about not having close friends isn't the missed birthday parties or the sad, single-player games of ping pong with the wall. No, what sucks is the lack of real criticism.

In my time online I've been called "fag" approximately 104,165 times. I keep an Excel spreadsheet. I've also been called "asshole" and "cockweasel" and "fuckcamel" and "cuntwaffle" and "shitglutton" and "porksword" and "wangbasket" and "shitwhistle" and "thundercunt" and "fartminge" and "shitflannel" and "knobgoblin" and "boring."


And none of it mattered, because none of those people knew me well enough to really hit the target. I've been insulted lots, but I've been criticized very little. And don't ever confuse the two. An insult is just someone who hates you making a noise to indicate their hatred. A barking dog. Criticism is someone trying to help you, by telling you something about yourself that you were a little too comfortable not knowing.

Tragically, there are now a whole lot of people who never have those conversations. The interventions, the brutal honesty, the, "you know, everybody's pissed off because of what you said last night, but nobody wants to say anything because they're afraid of you," sort of conversations. Those horrible, awkward, wrenchingly uncomfortable sessions that you can only have with someone who sees right to the center of you.

E-mail and texting are awesome tools for avoiding that level of honesty. With text, you can respond when you feel like it. You can measure your words. You can pick and choose which questions to answer. The person on the other end can't see your face, can't see you get nervous, can't detect when you're lying. You have almost total control and as a result that other person never sees past your armor, never sees you at your worst, never knows the embarrassing little things about yourself that you can't control. Gone are the common quirks, humiliations and vulnerabilities that real friendships are built on.

Browse around people's MySpace pages, look at the characters they create for themselves. If you've built a pool of friends via a blog, building yourself up as a misunderstood, mysterious Master of the Night, it's kind of hard to log on and talk about how you went to prom and got diarrhea out on the dance floor. You never get to really be yourself, and that's a very lonely feeling.

And, on top of all that ...

#6. We're victims of the Outrage Machine.

A whole lot of the people still reading this are saying, "Of course I'm depressed! People are starving! America has turned into Nazi Germany! My parents watch retarded television shows and talk about them for hours afterward! People are dying in meaningless wars all over the world!"

But how did we wind up with a more negative view of the world than our parents? Or grandparents? Back then, people didn't live as long and babies died more often. Diseases were more common. In those days, if your buddy moved away the only way to communicate was with pen and paper and a stamp. We have Iraq, but our parents had Vietnam (which killed 50 times more people) and their parents had World War 2 (which killed 1,000 times as many). Some of your grandparents grew up at a time when nobody had air conditioning. All of their parents grew up without it.

We are physically better off today in every possible way in which such things can be measured ... but you sure as hell wouldn't know that if you're getting your news online. Why?

Well, ask yourself: If some music site posts an article called, "Fall Out Boy is a Fine Band" and on the same day posts another one called, "Fall Out Boy is the Shittiest Fucking Band of the Last 100 Years, Say Experts," which do you think will get the most traffic? The second one wins in a blowout. Outrage manufactures word-of-mouth.

The news blogs many of you read? The people running them know the same thing. Every site is in a dogfight for traffic (even if they don't run ads, they still measure their success by the size of their audience) and so they carefully pick through the wires for the most inflammatory story possible. The other blogs start echoing the same story from the same point of view. If you want, you can surf all day and never swim out of the warm, stagnant waters of the "aren't those bastards evil" pool.

Only in that climate could those silly 9/11 conspiracy theories come about (saying the Bush administration and the FDNY blew up the towers, and that the planes were holograms). To hear these people talk, every opposing politician is Hitler, and every election is the freaking apocalypse. All because it keeps you reading.  

This wasn't as much a problem in the old days, of course. Some of us remember having only three channels on TV. That's right. Three. We're talking about the '80s here. So there was something unifying in the way we all sat down to watch the same news, all of it coming from the same point of view. Even if the point of view was retarded and wrong, even if some stories went criminally unreported, we at least all shared it.

That's over. There effectively is no "mass media" any more so, where before we disagreed because we saw the same news and interpreted it differently, now we disagree because we're seeing completely different freaking news. When we can't even agree on the basic facts, the differences become irreconcilable. That constant feeling of being at bitter odds with the rest of the world brings with it a tension that just builds and builds.

We humans used to have lots of natural ways to release that kind of angst. But these days...

#7. We feel worthless, because we actually are worth less.

There's one advantage to having mostly online friends, and it's one that nobody ever talks about:

They demand less from you.

Sure, you emotionally support them, comfort them after a breakup, maybe even talk them out of a suicide. But knowing someone in meatspace adds a whole, long list of annoying demands. Wasting your whole afternoon helping them fix their computer. Going to funerals with them. Toting them around in your car every day after theirs gets repossessed by the bank. Having them show up unannounced when you were just settling in to watch the Dirty Jobs marathon on the Discovery channel, then mentioning how hungry they are until you finally give them half your sandwich.

You have so much more control in Instant Messenger, or on a forum, or in World of Warcraft.

The problem is you are hard-wired by evolution to need to do things for people. Everybody for the last five thousand years seemed to realize this and then we suddenly forgot it in the last few decades. We get suicidal teens and scramble to teach them self-esteem. Well, unfortunately, self-esteem and the ability to like yourself only come after you've done something that makes you likable. You can't bullshit yourself. If I think Todd over here is worthless for sitting in his room all day, drinking Pabst and playing video games one-handed because he's masturbating with the other one, what will I think of myself if I do the same thing?

You want to break out of that black tar pit of self-hatred? Brush the black hair out of your eyes, step away from the computer and buy a nice gift for someone you loathe. Send a card to your worst enemy. Make dinner for your mom and dad. Or just do something simple, with an tangible result. Go clean the leaves out of the gutter. Grow a damn plant.

It ain't rocket science; you are a social animal and thus you are born with little happiness hormones that are released into your bloodstream when you see a physical benefit to your actions. Think about all those teenagers in their dark rooms, glued to their PC's, turning every life problem into ridiculous melodrama. Why do they make those cuts on their arms? It's because making the pain-and subsequent healing-tangible releases endorphins they don't get otherwise. It's pain, but at least it's real.

That form of stress relief via mild discomfort used to be part of our daily lives, via our routine of hunting gazelles and gathering berries and climbing rocks and fighting bears. No more. This is why office jobs make so many of us miserable; we don't get any physical, tangible result from our work. But do construction out in the hot sun for two months, and for the rest of your life you can drive past a certain house and say, "Holy shit, I built that." Maybe that's why mass shootings are more common in offices than construction sites.

It's the kind of physical, dirt-under-your-nails satisfaction that you can only get by turning off the computer, going outdoors and re-connecting with the real world. That feeling, that "I built that" or "I grew that" or "I fed that guy" or "I made these pants" feeling, can't be matched by anything the internet has to offer.

Except, you know, this website.

Essential Insanity

Essential Insanity
By: Ian Welsh Sunday January 20, 2008 12:00 pm

ND by Nesster

Walk with me a while and imagine you are mad. Crazy. Insane. It's an interesting sort of insanity--you see the world as something other than it is. You are dead convinced that people are out to get you, but these people have almost no means to harm you and fear your retaliation greatly, because you're a powerful person and they are weak.

You believe that you are hale and hearty; but in fact you're ghastly, obese and ill. You think you're rich, but in fact you're poor. You think you have the best doctor around, but in fact your doctor is worse than almost every other doctor and charges 50% more than them. You think you're tough, and you certainly haven't let the fact that two ninety pound weaklings seem to be able to stand up to you get in the way of that.

You think that you have the most advanced technological toys, that what you have is the best, and once you did, but these days everyone else seems to have more advanced stuff.

The illness goes deeper though, a deep decay in your brain. The parts of your brain that make most of the decisions for your body think everything is wonderful. They seem only able to take in sensations from the taste buds these days, and for the last thirty years you've been on a rich diet. So they think everything's great. Your once lean body, packed with muscles, has been replaced by a flaccid one, paunchy and fat, but somehow the key parts of your brain don't know that. They don't feel your sore back, they don't hear the broken down breathing and they don't see the gut hanging over your belt.

The you I'm referring to, as I'm sure many have figured out by now, is the US. For years I've been writing for the US and observing it carefully, and I've found it one of the most interesting problems I've encountered in my life. Because America and Americans are very unpredictable. Now, of course, the first thing I thought was "it's me," and in a sense, that's true.

Yet, here's the thing, I have a very good record of predicting what will happen in Somalia, or Afghanistan, or Iraq. And when I get it wrong, I can look back and easily figure out why. Yet I've never visited any of those countries and really, know very little about them. On the other hand I grew up imbibing American media, know American history well, have visited America a number of times and spent 8 years in jobs that required me to deal with multiple Americans daily.

Odd. Very odd. And something I've discussed with other foreign observers of American society and politics.

The first clue to what was wrong came around the time of the Iraq war. It was obvious, dead obvious, to everyone outside of the US and to US citizens who were spending a lot of time parsing news, that the war was a joke and that Saddam had no nukes and was no threat to the US. Most Americans, however, didn't get that. The reason, of course, was propaganda.

Fair enough. Every country whips its citizens into war hysteria with propaganda. But what was truly remarkable wasn't that, it was that somehow the majority of Americans, over 70%, thought that Iraq was behind 9/11. Iraq, of course, had nothing to do with 9/11. Nothing.

Remarkable. Americans went along with going to war with Iraq then because they thought Iraq had attacked them and had nukes and could attack them again. A complete propaganda tissue of lies. But if you believe it all, well of course Iraq needed to be attacked.

What looked to the rest of the world as crazy was entirely logical. It was, however, still insane. If I see a tentacled monster from the fourth dimension attack me and I respond by grabbing a knife and slashing apart my next door neighbour who's waving at me, well, I had a logical, coherent reason for what I did, but I still murdered him, and I'm still insane.

This is the first type of insanity in the US and it runs deep. I often feel like I spend more time correcting outright lies, outright propaganda, than anything else. Just this week I had to explain to a left wing blogger (who should know better) that single payer health insurance is cheaper and gives better results than private insurance system. Now in the US this is somehow still in doubt, but that's insane--this isn't in question, every other western nation that has single payer insurance spends about 1/3 less than the US and has as good health metrics or better either in most or all categories. This isn't something that's up in the air; this isn't something that is unsettled. This is a bloody FACT.

Americans think they are the most technologically advanced society in the world, yet the US does not have the fastest broadband, the fastest trains, the best cellphones, the most advanced consumer electronics (go to Japan and you'll see what I mean) or the most advanced green energy technology.

In the primary season Ron Paul was repeatedly cut out of media coverage and John Edwards was hardly covered. The majority of Americans thought that Edwards was running as the most right wing of the Democratic candidates. Huckabee was constantly called a populist when his signature tax program would gut the middle class and slap the poor onto a fiscal rack.

And when all is said and done, politicians are still running on slashing taxes and having that make up for itself, while the US runs a balance of payments higher than any other country post World War II has ever done without going into an economic crash.

That's one type of insanity--thinking the world is something that it isn't.

The second is worse, in a sense. When Diamond wrote his book on why societies collapse he came to the conclusion that it occurred when elites weren't experiencing the same things as the majority of the society--when they were isolated from the problems and challenges the society was facing.

For 30 years ordinary Americans haven't had a raise. And despite all the lies, Americans are beginning to get that.

But for the people in charge the last thirty years have been absolutely wonderful. Seriously, things haven't been this good since the 1890's and the 1920's. Everyone they know--their families, their mistresses and toyboys, their friends--is doing well. Wall Street paid even larger bonuses for 2007, the year they ran the ship into the shore, than they did in 2006 when their bonuses equalled the raises of 80 million Americans. Multiple CEOs walked away from companies they had bankrupted with golden parachutes in excess of 50 million. And if you can find a Senator who isn't a millionaire (except maybe Bernie Sanders) you let me know.

Life has been great. The fact that America is physically unhealthy, falling behind technologically, hemorrhaging good jobs and that ordinary Americans are in debt up to their eyebrows, haven't seen a raise in 30 years and live in mortal fear of getting ill--because even if they have insurance it doesn't cover the necessary care--means nothing to the decision making part of America because it hasn't experienced it. America's elites are doing fine, thanks. All they can taste, or remember is the caviar and champagne they swill to celebrate how wonderful they are and how much they deserve all the money federal policy has given them.

This is the second insanity of the US--that the decision making apparatus in the US is disconnected from the results of their decisions. They make sure they get paid, that they're wealthy, and let the rest of society go to hell. In the end, of course, most of them will find that the money isn't theirs, and that what they've stolen is worth very little if the US has a real financial crisis.

The third insanity is simpler: it's the wealth effect. At the end of World War II the US had about half the world's economy. Admittedly that's because Europe had been bombed into oblivion, but even when Europe rebuilt the US was still far, far ahead. The US was insanely rich and powerful. See, when you're rich you can do stupid and unproductive things for a long time. There are plenty of examples of this but the two most obvious ones are the US military and the War on Drugs.

The War on Drugs hasn't reduced the number of junkies or drugs on the street in any noticeable way. It has increased the US's prison population to the highest per capita level in the world, however. It has cost hundreds of billions of dollars. It has gutted civil liberties (the war on terror is just the war on drugs on crack, after all). And after 30 years does anyone seriously say "wait, this doesn't work, it costs billions of dollars and it makes us a society of prisons?" Of course not, if anything people compete to be "tough on crime." What's the definition of insanity, again? Doing the same thing, over and over again, and expecting different results?

Then there's the US military. It costs, oh, about as much as everyone else in the world's military combined. It seems to be at best in a stalemate and probably losing two wars against a bunch of rabble whose total budgets probably wouldn't equal a tenth of one percent of a US appropriations bill. And it is justified as "defending" America even though there is no nation in the entire world which could invade the US if the US had one tenth the military.

But the US could (not can, they are now unaffordable, but could) afford to have a big shiny military and lots of prisons, so it does. Lots of people get rich off of both of them, lots of rural whites get to lock up uban blacks and lots of communities that wouldn't exist otherwise get to survive courtesy of the unneeded military bases and prisons which should never have been built.

Insane--believing things that aren't true.

Insane--decision makers are cut off from the consequences of their decisions and in fact are getting reverse feedback, as things get worse for most Americans and as America gets weaker and poorer, they are the richest they've ever been.

Insane--so rich that no one will stop doing things that clearly don't work and are harmful, because people are making money off the insanity.

All of this is what makes predicting the US so surreal. It's not just about knowing what the facts are and then thinking "ok, how would people respond to that?" You have to know what the facts are, what the population thinks the facts are, what the elites think the facts are, who's making money off of it, and then ask yourself if these facts are having any real effect on the elites and if that effect is enough to outweigh the money they're making off of failure (how many of them have children serving in Iraq? Right, not urgent to fix.)

And then you have to go back to the facts and ask yourself "what effect will these have even if they're being ignored." Facts are ugly things, they tend not to go away.

All of which makes the US damn near impenetrable, often enough even to Americans.

But here's what I do know--you can get away with being nuts as long as enough people are benefiting from you being insane. When the credit cards are all maxed out, when the relatives have stolen even the furniture, suddenly all the enablers go away and the kneebreakers or the men in white pay you a visit. At that point you can live in the real world, or you can go to the asylum.

I wonder which way the US will go?

Okay, never thought I'd say anything nice about this lunatic, but...

I'm sure by now you've seen the video of Tom Cruise talking about Scientology.  (I read a transcript.) 

Yes, he's insane.  Yes, I think his disdain for mental health practitioners and medication is downright dangerous.  Yes, I feel sorry for his daughter, and everybody else who's been brainwashed into thinking Scientology has the answers.

But you know what?  He's trying to make the world a better place.  He feels a responsibility to help.  

And while lunatics trying to save the world and recreate it in their ideal image has caused untold misery and death (communism, the Inquisition, Crusades, etc.) -- I have to at least give him credit for thinking about the rest of humanity.

It's more than a lot of celebrities do.

I. Had. No. Idea.

The things my husband comes across.  I'm glad he shared this one, I laughed out loud several times.  Who knew??  Every time I think of those women going to doctors over... and over... and over again...  

bwahahahahahahaha!

Too cool to pass up

Via Sleep Dirt:


Generate a fake band and it's first album:
Step 1: Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

Step 2: Go to http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote are the title of your album.

Step 3: Go to http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
The third picture -- no matter what it is, is your album cover.
Please remember to give credit to the photographer. All images on Flickr are copy written in some form or another.


Throw it all into some image editing software, mix well, and voila!

Here's what I came out with:




My photo courtesy Jim Mayes, it looks like.

I like!

Somebody should be collecting these somewhere - there are some really awesome ones out there.

So this is bronchitis

I am not impressed.

Audition postponed until August, as there's not a position opening up in the chorus right now. Just as well, as my schedule is busier than I thought it would be - what with ballet, gymnastics, working the polls on election days, and chorus rehearsals - not to mention taking care of mom, dad, and my aunt - I'm pretty much tapped out.

However, there is one thing that's getting crammed into both my budget and my schedule.

I'M GOING TO SING AT THE KENNEDY CENTER!!!!!

{jumping up and down}


Donations accepted!

Long time no see

....aaaaand it's 2008.

Wow.

What would YOU do if you had an opportunity to perform at the Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C.?