How's life with y'all?

I feel like I've not posted in forever. I've been busy doing other things - laundry, taking kids to gymnastics, grocery shopping, running errands for everybody... typical stay-at-home mom stuff.

I've also been kind of busy reading the news...

Iran has released the British servicemen/women. That's good. I'm hoping that the retired FBI agent who disappeared from an island belonging to Iran doesn't become a casus belli. Haven't heard a whole lot about the U.S. Attorney kerfuffle in the last few days. McCain took a trip to Iraq and went shopping. Bush is trying to get into a pissing fight with congress about the Iraq supplemental bill - first about going on vacation - and then leaves for the ranch himself. And about how many days it's taking them to pass the bill. Why isn't Feingold running for president? Let's draft him rather than Al Gore. Why is Cheney lurking in the bushes? That sounded like an odd metaphor. The Supreme Court ruled that the EPA has it in its power to regulate emissions that cause global warming. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Inhofe. We're supporting guerrilla raids into Iran (which surprises me none). The FBI has been spying on us all (which also surprises me none), even war protesters. Josh Wolf got out of jail finally. David Hicks is going to jail... for 9 months... and Cheney might have had something to do with it?


The list is enormous and there's no way I can even list them all. I have to say, though, I LOVE these: George W. Bush Scandals & Fuckups Collectors Plate Series.

I'm going to go play with my son.

Yo Todd, got this shirt yet?

I've found a new artist

He's not new, but he's new to me. I like his stuff. Reminds me of Dali. Mark Ryden. Check him out.

Public Service Announcement

Not like I have a lot of public, but for those of you out there with cats & dogs, check your food - some have died, some have simply gotten sick (kidney failure, I think they said). Pass the word.

http://menufoods.com/recall/

More news on the "I told you so" front

Mortgage Report Rattles Markets

A national survey showing that a soaring number of homeowners failed to make their mortgage payments in the last quarter of 2006 rattled lawmakers in Washington and the markets in New York yesterday, as the Dow Jones industrial average plummeted 2 percent, or nearly 243 points.

The report, which sent every major stock market indicator tumbling when it was released at noon, revealed that the problems in the market for "subprime" mortgages -- loans made to home buyers with blemished credit histories -- might be spilling over to the broader mortgage industry, analysts said.

Okay, just had to stick that in there. Was reading a blog entry titled "Study Proves Other People Are Even Worse Than We Thought" which made me laugh out loud. You'll have to watch the animation. So I may end up adopting a new catchphrase. "You're just vilifying a triangle!" and "You're just championing a triangle - jerk!"

Now I happened to be chatting with my ex-husband (#2, I don't keep in touch with #1) while reading this, and sent him the link to the animation, and then the article. He didn't anthropomorphize the triangles at ALL. Very interesting! I remember him telling me that on the thinking/feeling psych test he scored 100% thinking, which was unusual. He's an unusual guy. :)

Off to watch The Daily Show. Ciao!

Okay, maybe more people should be listening to me.

Okay, this is a big I TOLD YOU SO post. Except nobody was listening to me the first time (I mean, my babu was listening, but he doesn't make foreign policy or anything) so this won't feel as satisfying as it could.

I said back in 2003 that invading Iraq would lead to a huge mess, and accurately identified large chunks of the mess that have now resulted.

I said months and months ago that mortgage lenders were going to start going under because of all the people losing their homes & foreclosing. And here's the news.

"New Century may be insolvent because too many of its own customers -- most of whom have poor credit histories or heavy debt burdens -- aren't repaying their loans. Bad U.S. subprime mortgages are at a seven-year high, forcing more than two dozen lenders to close or sell operations. Their woes may contribute to more than 1.5 million Americans losing their homes and 100,000 people losing their jobs, according to real estate executives, economists, analysts and a Federal Reserve governor."

Eh, enough of I told you so's. No satisfaction.

I'm reading horror stories about how soldiers unfit for duty are being sent back to Iraq. I don't just mean the mentally unfit ones, the ones suffering from PTSD or depression or whatever - 'cause after all, they're not REALLY sick, right? *growl* - No, I'm talking about the soldiers who are PHYSICALLY UNFIT FOR DUTY ACCORDING TO PHYSICIANS.

As the military scrambles to pour more soldiers into Iraq, a unit of the Army's 3rd Infantry Division at Fort Benning, Ga., is deploying troops with serious injuries and other medical problems, including GIs who doctors have said are medically unfit for battle. Some are too injured to wear their body armor, according to medical records.

About those mentally unfit ones being redeployed - those are the ones that survived. Heard an interview on Fresh Air today about the special report done by Lisa Chedekel and Matthew Kauffman of The Hartford Courant (they're getting the George Polk Award for it): Mentally Unfit, Forced to Fight. Listening to the horror stories of suicidal soldiers who were told that they were faking it, or given antidepressants and told to get back to work - who then went off and shot themselves...

"In a case last July, a 20-year-old soldier who had written a suicide note to his mother was relieved of his gun and referred for a psychological evaluation, but then was accused of faking his mental problems and warned he could be disciplined, according to what he told his family. Three weeks later, after his gun had been handed back, Pfc. Jason Scheuerman, of Lynchburg, Va., used it to end his life."

He's only one of many. As a person who has been suicidal before, who has attempted before, who has been hospitalized for psychiatric reasons - this makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. It makes me weep. It makes me want to take the officials responsible for this out behind a barn and hurt them in creative ways.

I don't think I can read any more news tonight.

This got me thinking

Just started seeing a new counselor guy. I think I like him; we'll see. One of the questions he asked me in our first meeting, while typical, ended up surprising me. He asked me how high school was for me.

Pure, unadulterated, hell.

Why?

And then I had to think for a moment. Why WAS it that bad? I had a couple of good friends. I wasn't popular, but most of us weren't popular in high school. My experiences with fucktard husband #1 (the guy who said that I was lucky he was dating me because nobody else would) certainly put a damper on things - hard to enjoy yourself when you're in a relationship with a moron like that, and too stupid yourself to realize you should have set the guy on fire after the FIRST time he pulled some bullshit. That blows a good chunk of my time; sophomore thru senior year wasted on him. I occasionally wonder how my life would have been different had I known enough to not get involved with him.

But other than that, I felt different. No, DIFFERENT. In middle school I had been part of the "Misfit's Club" - those kids that weren't friends with anybody else. People have always called me weird, or strange. I've always been very emotional - kids stomping on bugs bothered me. Talking about people starving in the world reduced me to tears. I loved to learn. I think my favorite class was Humanities - the way everything in the world is interconnected is one of the things that makes me just vibrate with passion. But the stuff other kids in high school talked about just didn't make any sense to me. I wasn't interested in sports, I liked music but wasn't a rabid fan of anybody (I listened to the Beatles and Simon & Garfunkel mostly, for chrissakes) and my sense of fashion was unusual, to put it mildly. Brand names meant nothing to me. I loved to sing, and was constantly irritated by the people in chorus who were there for two years just for the credit requirement. I always thought that in my junior & senior year, those people would go off and do something else and leave the chorus to those of us perfectionists that were passionately interested in it. (It was a great disappointment when they stuck around - that's largely why I quit chorus my junior year and joined band. Another mistake.) I didn't think I was attractive. (I look back now and say "Holy Shit! Damn, I'd have done me!")

I'm rambling. I do that a lot. To myself and out loud, too, so Hex isn't the only one. This stupid navel gazing sometimes tires me. I keep doing it because I'm trying to find out what's wrong with me. Or, failing that, I'm trying to find coping mechanisms so I can live with myself. (And let other people live with me; being married with two kids kinda blows my hermit option.)

Maybe I over-think things. I'm going to go do something else.

It's a good thing neither J nor I are sympathetic vomiters.

But I have to say, if I get thrown up on one more time, I'm going to lose what tenuous hold on sanity I have.

Sitting & reading

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We sold the house!

WOOOHOOOO!

Everything else pretty much is the same.

just had to jot this down before I forgot

Because this is so cute...

C was eating a pickle, and he'd taken two or three bites out of the side. He held it up and said "look! A rollercoaster! The boy goes here, and here, and here!"

okay, going to sleep now. Hope you all had a happy buy-flowers-and-chocolate day last week.

Sunday night, doing laundry...

Taking a break from housework 'cause my back hurts (yes I do housework) J showed me something really nifty.

Ryan, now that you're done with your cranes, you should start on this.

Let me get this straight - we're in desperate need of foreign language speakers in the armed forces, especially Middle Eastern languages, but the armed forces have fired more than 300 linguists because they don't like their sexual preferences??? It's crap like this that makes me think the American empire deserves to be taken off its pedestal.

A word to the wise: do not allow Civ 4 in your house.

I'm NOT getting excited. I'm NOT.

Or at least I'm trying not to.

We assumed that the house went up for auction on January 10th. I cancelled the insurance policy effective that date, and we went about our daily lives.

Got a letter from the mortgage company saying "hey, you don't have insurance on your house, what's the deal?" So I called them. I informed them that as far as _I_ knew, we didn't OWN the house anymore. They looked up the info and said well, no, actually, maybe the judge's docket was full or something, but it's still listed in active foreclosure....

Whatever. Told them we didn't want the house. Had been trying to sell it. They were welcome to it.

Got a letter from a woman in town who made sure to mention that she wasn't an investment buyer, she just wanted to know if she could buy our house, she was a local person. I called her on a whim.

Today, handed her a signed contract of intent to sell; we're waiting on the mortgage company's lawyers to give us the payoff amount, and then (assuming she doesn't find anything horrible about the house between now & then) we'll go to closing. She's paying off everything - fees, taxes, etc. - we'll just walk away clean.

I'm not getting excited until I'm there at closing. I'm definitely not going to mention it to my parents; I'll just avoid all that BS. (I can hear my mother now... "shouldn't you try to get some money from it? You signed the contract??! Don't you think you should have a lawyer look at it first? Who are these people? " argh.)

I'm glad my husband takes good care of me. I'd be in a mental institution by now if he didn't. If I don't eat regularly I completely start to fall apart. I'd last eaten around noon, and it was 6:30pm, and I was at the 'fuck everything what's the point' stage.

Oh, and because we've cancelled our homeowner's insurance, we lost that discount, and our insurance payment has actually GONE UP. Wtf.

Odd

I've just discovered that I'm not getting emails of my comments... noticed I had comments I'd never seen. Hrm. Probably the spam filter. Wonder if I've missed anything else?

There's not much going on. M didn't get thrown out of school. There HAS been a new policy enacted at the school; we now have to walk around to the BACK of the building to pick up and drop off our children. Not sure what good this does; maybe they have cameras, as J suggested? ~shrug~

Everything else that's been going on has been mental. I'm stressed out. Quelle surprise. I don't know how my sister-in-law managed to go all that time living in other people's houses and not go totally mental. My hat goes off to you, woman.

I'm sure there was something productive I was planning on doing when I got onto a computer that could get online. (Did I mention the antenna in my iBook seems to be dying?) But if there was something I meant to do, or needed to do, I can't remember what it is right now.

AAAARRRRRGGGH I cannot STAND that woman!

I've quite possibly just gotten my daughter kicked out of school today.

They called me to say she was lethargic, had a sore throat, and had put her hand to her head and said "I just can't take anymore!" That's my daughter, budding drama queen. Anyway, at the time, I was taking my father to his doctor's appointment, and wouldn't be able to pick her up for a bit (who knows how long it would take to wait around, you know?) but that I'd be there as soon as I could and by all means please call me immediately if she gets a fever or gets worse or anything.

So after TWO HOURS with dad at the doctor, I run him home because he's positively drooping he's so tired, and speed over to school to get M. On the way out, I run into the principal, a woman I've never really liked. And not just because of the way she treats my mother-in-law. (Yes, I just had a fight with my mother-in-law's boss. And my mother-in-law is out of town watching her 4th child graduate from boot camp; I can't wait to see what happens when she comes back to town and work. *sigh*)

Anyway, the principal asks if I signed M out, and I said well, yes, in the classroom... and she said no, I need you to sign out over there (the main office) so I grumble a little but walk all the way down the sidewalk to the other end of the building and press the intercom button. I tell the nice voice on the other side my name, and that I was told to come sign my daughter M out, and the voice says to come up the stairs on the left. At that point, the door is supposed to be buzzed unlocked. I tried the door in front of me. Still locked. The door next to it? Locked. Walked over to the other two doors about 6 feet away - those locked too. At this point, I completely lost my patience and decided to leave. It was cold outside, I was sick, M was sick, I was tired - the hell with it. To my dismay, we run into the principal AGAIN as we're almost to the car, and M, the helpful little angel, says "The door was locked!! We couldn't get in!" *GROAN*

Ms. Principal and I then proceed to get into it, her saying that there's been a suspected kidnapping or something at a local middle school, and that I have to follow procedure. I tell her that I told them over the intercom, that the door didn't unlock, and that I've already signed my daughter out in her classroom. The argument continues; I inform her that I've got a bad knee, and what does she do for handicapped parents? They can't go upstairs to sign out, and there's no elevator! She says yes, it's an old building, and I say well, isn't that illegal? She says she didn't know I had a bad knee and I respond I didn't know I had to wear a sign. I told her I'd ALREADY complained about this before, and she said well, not to me! And I said no, I wasn't aware I needed to come to you; I assumed that if I complained to one of your employees that the next time that employee talked to you, she'd say "Hey, you know, I had a parent come to me today and say they had trouble making it up the stairs to sign their child out; what are we going to do for disabled parents?" (Hell, I was thinking "Nitwit, you should have thought of this yourself ANYWAY when you first instituted this policy!") At one point I actually looked up to the sky and said ARGH! She then says (with this 'tone') that I'd picked M up early somewhat frequently lately, and why was I picking her up today? I snapped at her BECAUSE THEY CALLED ME, BECAUSE SHE'S SICK. (Like it fucking matters why I'm picking up my daughter early? She's my child. Bite me. And I haven't picked her up early often lately, have I?) So she says "well, I hope she feels better soon" and turns on her heel and walks away.

This doesn't really get the whole feel of the interaction; I hate that my memory seems to fritz out when my emotions run high. Hey, THAT'S why my memory sucks - not just because I chronically was running low on sleep, but because I'm a very emotional person! Damn damn damn.

My husband, sweetheart that he is, gave me a hug when we went to visit, and told me that he's got my back. Awwww. He said "this is kind of the wrong time for you to have to argue with stupid people anyway, you know?" Oy vey, that's right - technically my period starts in 4 days (of course, it probably won't, as I'm now on the shot, but we're still figuring out exactly how the new hormone balance is working). I told J I'm betting $50 that I'm going to receive a letter from her soon that says "because of my unwillingness (or inability) to follow the safety procedures set up at the school, that she feels it would be best if my daughter attend somewhere else." Any takers?

The bad thing is that my mother-in-law is probably going to get flack over this. I was willing to go sign M out; I was willing to walk all the way down the outside of the building to the opposite end in the cold to get buzzed in; I was willing to drag myself and my two children up the stairs, even. But when the door didn't unlock, something just snapped, and I ceased to be patient or accommodating. All I wanted was to get out of the cold and go the hell home.

On the bright side, Kia just called - holy cow, they have fixed my van! Third transmission's the charm, as the guy said. Mom's on her way home and then I'm going to head over to the rental place to return the car. Woo!

Indulging in gown watching at the Golden Globes

Okay, not like my opinion of fashion counts (I mean, wow, have you seen what I wear?) but I just love to take notes while perusing the red carpet photos.

Becki Newton - color looks good on her, dress doesn't impress me. If the inside color of the fabric is different than the outside, and you're going to have a slit, please make sure the dress is lined or something so you can't see the obvious inside hem.

Jennifer Lopez - cool!! I like it a lot. Wish I could see the entire back.

Evangeline Lilly - neat dress! Unique, and form-flattering.

Shonda Rimes - it's okay; can't decide if she could have done something besides that waist bow. I'm sure it's hard to find haute couture in plus sizes. Heck, I couldn't even find jeans at Target for myself.

Angelina Jolie - very classy. Looks great when she's moving. I probably wouldn't have worn gold with it, though.

Nicollette Sheridan - I'd like it better if it didn't have the black ties around the chest and knees. It's an "Eh" dress - doesn't make me want to vomit, doesn't make me wish I could wear it. Kinda reminds me of Barbie.

Rachel Weisz - looks good in red. Nice classic dress.

Jennifer Love Hewitt - what a nifty dress! Love the vines. Would probably like it better without the waist bow; would show off her curves nicely - waist bow unnecessary.

Jennifer Hudson - looks kind of unfinished. I mean, there's this nice gathering and draping of fabric from between ample breasts - but nothing else. Maybe the back of the dress completes it.

Ali Larter - okay, if I wanted to see the skin beneath your breasts, I'd look for you in a bikini. I cannot STAND these dresses that are open to practically the navel. Ugh. However, were her dress's cleavage pulled together for about 3 inches or so, it would be very nice.

Rinko Kikuhi - weird. Black bows on the shoulders need to go, but otherwise it's nice in that "I look different" kinda way.

Penelope Cruz - pretty! I think I'd like it in something besides black more - a dark burgundy, say. But I do like it.

Kate Winslet - Eh. Okay. Nice and simple. Drapes nicely. Doesn't flatter her shape somehow. That might just be this picture (the angle and whatnot).

Tina Fey - again with the skin under the boobies! Pull that top together a little bit more - just an inch, dangit! - and it's a nice dress. (Kinda cocktail-partyish, though, isn't it, for a formal award ceremony?)

America Ferrera - pretty. When I saw just the bodice without the skirt I said ugh, but altogether it's nice.

Vanessa Williams - okay, when I can stop looking at the hair... I like the fabric. I'm not a fan of this style dress, but it looks okay on her.

Reese Witherspoon - doesn't do anything for me.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus - something seems slightly off about the bodice. The beading is nice, the gold fabric nice... just... something... Otherwise I like it.

Mary Lynn Rajskub - did she ride to the award ceremony in a convertible? I like the dress, although it looks like it's too low on her chest - either she has a very long distance between the top of her shoulders and her breasts, or the dress could be hiked up some. Cute pink with nice fabric draping.

Yunjin Kim - I REALLY like this dress. Again, wish the dress cleavage was just a LITTLE higher, but otherwise, YUM. Love the way the fabric is pulled into the waist; love the black flowers that make the waist, and love the way the dress just flows to the ground.

Sheryl Crow - I like this one! Sort of Grecian looking, with the draping. Flowers at the bodice with the fabric flowing from that to the ground - very nice.

Katherine Heigl - it's a nice dress for that style - but I'm not a fan of this style, nor generally do I go for asymmetrical hemlines. Eh.

Lorraine Nicholson - very nice dress; perfect for an award-hander-outer as it's classy and yet not attention grabbing.

Jennifer Garner - does she have no breasts? Dress doesn't do much for me. It's ok.

Courteney Cox - Unless it looks better from the side, or the back, or when she moves, or something, all I have to say is NO. Looks like somebody got lazy or freaky with layering black tulle over flesh-colored fabric.

Naomi Watts - I think if the medallions across the bust and down the sides were a different color, or the dress a different color, I'd like this dress. As is - eh. That blue looks nice on her, anyway.

Sienna Miller - I like the top, I like the bottom... somehow they seem a little disconnected. If perhaps the designer had run some gold down the skirt from the points from the bodice, it would have looked more cohesive. Oh, and the back is pretty, too.

Beyoncé Knowles - Oh. My. God. Burn it.

Eva Longoria - the beaded straps are nice, but they seem to go across the bust in the wrong place. They don't accentuate her breasts; either the dress isn't designed right for a band across there, or the dress isn't in the right place, or something. This dress does nothing for me. And having now seen a picture of the back of the dress, I like it even less. Ugh.

Jessica Biel - You know, I wouldn't think I'd like this dress, but I really do. It helps that it fits her body so perfectly. The stripes go horizontal at JUST the right point, and stop at the right point too... very nice.

Toni Collette - haven't I seen this dress already? Well, no, but similar. It's a beautifully done classic draped bodice with the fabric flowing down, and the blue color is nice.

Cameron Diaz - I have to try to look past the woman wearing the dress, as I think she's one of the most unattractive stars out there. But even looking past her (and what the hell did she do to her hair??) I loathe this dress.


- Off the subject, having just turned on the TV briefly, I saw the "Snapalope" commercial from Slim Jim. Heeheeheeheehee! -


Felicity Huffman - I really like this! I like the color, I love the way it drapes from the bodice all the way down to the ground - I'd like to see what it looks like from the back, actually.

Drew Barrymore - I can tell the dress is pale pink (which looks great on her) - but I'm having trouble seeing details of the dress. I think it's another one of those classic draped bodices and skirt, which as far as I can tell, is very nice. Maybe I can find more pictures. Found a couple more pictures - the draping is beautifully done.

Salma Hayek - DANG! The dress is gorgeous, and shows off her assets beautifully. Both assets. ROWR.

Hilary Swank - When I first saw this dress, I said ICK. Weirdly enough, it's growing on me. Like I said, I'm not generally a fan of the fishtail dresses, and the way the bows cross on her they make it look like she's a wrapped present.

The chick with Aaron Eckhart - intriguing beaded bodice - it's unique, which is nice. I can't tell if it's just the way she's standing or if she's really not very well endowed boob-wise, but I think this dress would probably look better on some nice large breasts. (It'd hang nicely.)

Sofia Milos - I love a dark haired woman in a red dress. From what I can tell, I like this dress too. The one-shoulder with a slight ruffle around the top is a nice start, and it shows off the curves on the way down. I can't tell if the skirt is just straight, or has a funky train, or what, but what I see I like.

Jada Pinkett Smith - I'm wondering if I can find a picture that shows the skirt, because all I can see now is what looks like a pink ribbon wound around her like a mummy wrapping.

Maggie Gyllenhaal - I've only seen one picture, but I'm wondering why she wore a belt around a drop-waist gown? From what I can seen of the dress, it's a pretty blah black dress, but I can't see a whole lot.

Meryl Streep - I'm looking at just one picture that doesn't show the whole dress, but I think the top looks cool - a gauzy draped over the shoulder look, with what looks like a ribbon wrapped around the torso; very kore-like.

Renée Zellweger - the green looks good on her. I'm trying to figure out exactly what the dress looks like; the picture I've got is from a bad angle. It looks like from between the breasts an outer layer of the dress opens up. The dress shows her shape okay; the bodice is very well fitted.

Jenna Fischer - Looks like it's black lace over pink? Peach? satin. It's a pretty dress, and it might just be the angle of the photo, but it doesn't seem to flatter her curves the way it should.

Kyra Sedwick - The top of the bodice is okay, I'm having trouble seeing what the middle/bottom is like, and why is there a dark something tied around it? Okay, nothing great from what I can see.

Sosie Ruth Bacon - This dress is ADORABLE! Absolutely gorgeous. Perfect on her.

Isla Fisher - I don't know what the front looks like, but the back is gorgeous.

Emily Blunt - It shows off her curves nicely. I have to say, it looks like another dress was grafted on around knee-level. I wish it had just stayed tight & formfitting. Or something.

Cate Blanchette - straight off, I have to say I have very rarely found a dress attractive that does this short-in-the-front-long-in-the-back thing. This one is no exception.

Teri Hatcher - ignoring for the moment her freakish looks... only picture of the dress I've seen so far is from the back. The draped back is very nice, and the skirt works. She's described as playing a 30's screen star, so I can only guess at the front of the dress. Having now seen the front, I like it, mostly. It would probably look better with more boobage to fill out the front. Statuesque gown, I like the lines quite a bit - but Hatcher's just slightly too bony to wear it well.

Hayden Panettiere - The photo is washed out so I can't see much detail of drape and fabric. White dress with wide metallic belt. Eh, okay.

Sara Ramirez - another brunette in red - so far, so good. Have only seen picture of back, which looks okay - there is evidently some beading going on that might be nice in the front. From what I can see from the back, no problem.

Ellen Pompeo - Okay, I saw the side of this dress somewhere but now can't find the picture. (The picture I'm looking at now is just from about mid-thigh up, with a guy in the way.) I remember thinking when I saw it that it looked somewhat futuristic, and the curvy swoops on the sides were unique... I'll look for other shots.

Mary J. Blige - okay, it's a brunette in a red dress. From what I can see of this red dress, however, it doesn't do a whole lot for me. We'll see what a full shot makes me think.

Chloë Sevigny - this looks more like a beach wrap that goes over your bathing suit than a gown.

Ginnifer Goodwin - ugh. Might just be the photo.

Jeanne Tripplehom - okay little black dress, looks more cocktail dressy than formal award ceremony to me.

Patricia Arquette - is the top of that dress leather?? Odd, but not ugly.

Rosanna Arquette - the dress is nice, I like lace overlay when done right. I think this dress would have looked a lot better if rather than a V-neck cleavage it had been a more curved or straight-across strapless underdress beneath the lace.

Elizabeth Mitchell - I can't tell what this dress looks like for sure because the only picture I've got is from the side - the color is okay for her, but the dress looks eh.

Abigail Breslin - Okay, I realize this is a child, but goddammit people, this dress doesn't even look like it fits the poor girl. Not sure what the rest of the top looks like under the little sweater she's wearing.

Giuliana DePandi - definitely flatters her curves, I like everything except perhaps whatever the deal is with the front of the bodice. I can't quite figure out if those ribbon like things are attached or what.

Okay, I've done tons of people, some of whom I've never even heard of, and I have more important things to do.

Oh good, I needed a laugh!

J went to put on the Pulsar watch his dad got him for Christmas, and looked at the day/date display, and says to me "What month does VIE stand for? Is it French?" Laughing the entire time I look up stuff online and realize it's the day of the week - Friday in Spanish. Only J's dad could manage to buy a Spanish watch.

We finally got a rental from Kia. Saturn Ions are pretty comfy. Although honestly, any modern 4-door car that didn't smell like ancient ketchup would be comfy at this point.

Well, that chapter is over

So the house goes up for auction today. I wonder how much they'll get for it. There was more stuff there that we were keeping than I thought. I think we got home at 2 something. Robin let us borrow her truck again. I'm going to start buying lottery tickets, so if I win I can get her something nice. :) That's probably the only way she'd accept a gift, heh.

Got a call from FSU today; she's mailing me the packet to do the individual class medical withdrawal from Summer 1999. I'm wondering what kind of documentation they'll need, and quite frankly, I'm wondering if I can get it at this point. They may not think a suicide attempt and week-long incarceration in the psych ward is sufficient, in which case I don't know what I'm going to do. I'll have to do something to bring up my GPA - but I don't know if that's possible after already finishing my AA, you know? Perhaps it just means attending an online college like U of Phoenix. That doesn't help part of the reason for going back to school, that being to meet some intelligent like-minded people for us to spend time with.

Amazingly enough, this page is still up after who knows how many hours - it's almost midnight. I'm starting to get wheezy and have a slight cough - I hope it doesn't go any farther than this. Had a very productive day today, even with M staying home. I even made dinner for everybody, and managed to have everything done at the same time! J said it was the best meatloaf he'd ever had, and he's sorry I'd not made one for him before now. (I'd not made one before because he's always said he wasn't a big meatloaf fan. He said if he'd known my meatloaf was like this, he'd have asked me to make them. :) Nice ego boost, there.) Between J's approval and my dad's (he cleaned his plate) I had a good evening.

The evening was only slightly dampened by listening to the President's speech. I have to say, I'm glad I'm not the only one who picked up on the phrasing wherein he said that they would interrupt and destroy any networks supplying weapons, training, etc. supplied by Iran or Syria. That quite possibly means WITHIN Iran or Syria. Add to that the "I recently ordered the deployment of an additional carrier strike group to the region." statement, and... I know people have been pushing for us to attack Iran for years now, but this is a step closer than I really like to be, honestly.

Oh, and did any of you see that clip of Tony Snow where he says "The President has the ability to exercise his own authority if he thinks Congress has voted the wrong way.” WTF???!! Gee, I think Congress voted the wrong way on something, so I won't obey the law. Where the hell in the Constitution did you get that, George? Probably the same place he got the idea that signing statements were any more than a comment by himself.

Must go to sleep.

An update if you care

Since our van is in the shop for a new transmission (thank goodness it's under warranty), we've been using my parents' 2nd car, an old Buick. Saturday night, I think it was, it dies while J is on his way back from the grocery store. We had it towed to our trusted mechanics. (Word to the wise: do NOT let the sheriff's office call a tow truck for you. They have a deal with the company that allows the tow truck people to charge a "flat rate" - which is another word for OMG THAT'S EXPENSIVE. $110 for 3.5 miles.)

So we've been having fun driving everybody around in the last car standing - which constantly has the battery light coming on as the alternator cuts out. It's had the alternator replaced I think 3 times in its lifetime... not sure what the issue is. Maybe at some point I'll call Click & Clack about it. Mom has to be at work by 8:30, M at school by 8:15, and J at work by 9. Musical cars, anyone? Nonna has been meeting M & I in a bank parking lot so she can take M in with her (of course, that means M has to get up at 6:30 am, poor thing.) J has walking pneumonia and so didn't go to work yesterday, and today went in a little late. I wasn't looking forward to tomorrow.

Luckily, today our mechanic called. The Buick was ready to be picked up - know what was wrong with it? IT WAS OUT OF GAS. *sigh* The gas gauge is evidently kaput. I ran to J's office to get him, we went to get the Buick, and then went to school to pick up M, who is sick. Thanks to the kindness of strangers who swiped her card for me (as mine is still in the van, at the dealership) I didn't have to park a huge distance away and walk. Which is good, considering M was in one of those meltdown-carry-me moods. Did I say was?

I'm back home putting the kids down for a nap, but I'm not sure if I'll even be able to get them asleep before I have to go pick up mom.

Oh, and I'm finally coming down with whatever is going around in the house.

And tomorrow our old house gets auctioned. So tonight I have to go get the last few things out of it that I want to keep. This includes a lawn mower, a mattress, a desk, and a few other large items. (In case you wonder why we didn't get them before, it's because some of them we were originally planning on selling, and some (lawn mower) we forgot.)

I'm so tired.

Happy New Year?

Well, is it?

More on my platform

On the Iraq war:

Partially because I paid attention to history, and partially because I'm aware of certain psychological issues that make a difference to people, I knew that going in and taking out Saddam Hussein had a one in a million chance of working. Add to that our dumb-ass cowboy president and his stupid defense secretary who MADE NO PLANS FOR POST INVASION, and it was doomed from the start. I sincerely doubt I would have voted to give his sorry ass permission to invade in the first place. I'm not sure what kind of 'evidence' of WMD the people up on the Hill were shown; perhaps it would have convinced me - but I doubt it. So, if it were up to me, we probably wouldn't be there in the first damn place.

However, having said that - we're there now. I honestly have no idea how to "fix" it. Part of me thinks we should just take all our troops out immediately. Part of me thinks we should go back in the files and pull out the Marshall Plans and actually rebuild the fucking country the right way - which includes stringing war profiteers up by their thumbs, the bloodsucking cockroaches. If it's been proven that you're purposefully overcharging the army for supplies, you don't get future contracts. That should be a given, don't you think? I agree with Eisenhower - the military-industrial complex is a sneaky horror that has sucked enough money and blood from this country over the decades. I haven't read the Iraq Advisory Group's report, but from what I've heard of it, it makes sense. Personally, I think our entire foreign policy should get a major overhaul. That requires a whole lot more detail than I can go into right now. My hand already hurts from typing.

More to come when I'm feeling like it.

Can I have a vacation?

"But you don't have a job!" you say? Well, aside from my job as mommy, wife, and daughter to elderly parents, I want a vacation from reality.

Last night while putting together one of those wire mesh cube thingies that you can use to store things in, I think I broke something in my left hand. Today, J takes the van to work because the buick's gas tank was empty - and the transmission dies. So I go pick him up, take him to work (he's sick, btw), come back to the van, and call Kia. While I'm waiting for the tow truck to come get it, I'm cleaning it out and loading as much as I can fit in the buick. (The van was still full of stuff - we hadn't unloaded it because frankly there was no room in the house for it. Literally.) So at some point I'm going to have to find a place to put some of the stuff out of the buick this afternoon because I have to go pick up J from work. I may or may not have to take the kids with me, which will involve unloading even more stuff. *sigh*

But it's a gorgeous day! And I got to drive alone with my babu to his office. I'm attempting to cook something my kids will actually eat, and then it's naptime for them. Wish me luck!

Putting together my platform

Were I to run for office...

Well, to start on a totally fluffy note, I think Tom Petty's I Won't Back Down would be my theme song. Heh.

I was reading Joe Klein's Politics Lost: How American Democracy Was Trivialized By People Who Think You're Stupid last night and had this thought: people today are sick and tired of politicians who say what the focus groups tell them will fly; they want someone who is genuine and yet not a freak or unstable. What would happen if a politician stepped forward and said "These are the things that the consultants and focus groups tell me I should say. I don't want to say what these people think you want to hear. I know what _I_ think is important - I want to know what YOU think is important. Here's my phone number. Here's my email address. Here's my mail address. Tell me what YOU think is important. We live in a great republic that was put together so that you could pick leaders to represent you in making decisions for our nation. I, for one, am tired of those representatives in Washington only hearing the people who pay the most."

Back to parenting and unpacking. More later.

Merry sort-of Christmas

Both the kids have been sick, and now pawpaw has come down with it - not to mention we're still living out of boxes - so we've postponed christmas (and M's birthday) this year. Until last night, we had exactly enough floorspace in our room for two twin mattresses and two sleeping bags. Now we've rearranged and moved things - granted, now most of it is piled in the living room next door, but what the hey. The kids were so excited to have open floor; they were running around in circles laughing and giggling. (They've also been cooped up in here for too long.)

So J went back to work today. Blah. It's amazing how quickly I get used to having him around. Last night he reached maximum density with my mom (& dad, to some extent), today it's my turn, I think. Between that and M having an absolute meltdown over everything, I'm rather low on my emotional fortitude.

On the bright side, there is a beautiful male cardinal in the pyrecantha bush outside the window, and for a brief moment anyway, it's not raining. We've got all the bookcases put up, so now I can start putting things away on them.

Hey Kaiser, I hope we didn't miss you entirely - and if we did, dammit! J & I were really looking forward to seeing you while you were in town. Next time, then.

Okay, I'm not fond of this family tradition

So, Moira was sick for her birthday. I say was - still is. Now C's got it too. We're taking bets on who gets it first, me or J.

Happy December Holiday!

That should cover all bases.

We finished at the old house today - even swept the ceiling fans and wiped down the baseboards. The witch that's taking care of it for our out-of-town landlord will probably never notice, and will probably find other things to complain about, but our landlord has been such a sweetheart that I wanted to do all I could.

So J sees these commercials for PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) and comes home and says "hey, you have to check this out - go to understandpmdd.com and see if they have anything useful to say." So I'm looking - their list of treatments include birth control pills and anti-depressants. Okay, doing that already, thanks. But I guess it's nice to know that it's not that we're crazy, but that there's something really wrong. Even if "something really wrong" means "you and your hormones don't get along but we have no further information at this time." At this point I'm curious about what part of my insanity is hormonal, and what part is bipolar. Or if I'm not bipolar at all, and it is borderline personality disorder. Or if the borderline personality disorder was brought on by the hormonal mood swings and slightly odd family life. Oy. I keep wishing for the Star-Trek era medicine, where they scan you and tell you that you have too much magnesium in your body and that's why you're feeling crappy, or whatever.

I've now become tired and don't feel like telling you about the christmas party the kids and I went to tonight, or the company christmas party J & I went to Saturday night. Or much of anything else, really. In case I don't write anything more before then, for the tiny population of people that read this, I hope you have a great and relaxing holiday season.

It's Monday of the last week of moving

aaaaaaand the week before my period. Let the meltdown begin.


Oh, and we decided that we needed just a bit more room in our storage unit, so this week I'm also moving all the stuff two buildings over.

Whatcha think, Bill?

I read this, and heard the quote by Arlen Specter on NPR's Justice Talking (he was bitching about signing statements) wherein he mentioned that Conyers was drafting impeachment papers - I've heard the "I-word" a lot more publicly recently, think there's a snowball's chance in hell? Talk to me of political realities, man!

Actually Spoken During the Course of My Day

"Hey, whaddaya know? Both gay AND Egyptian!"




I almost wish I was still friends with Erinn, who would get that joke.

A day in the life

So I wake up this morning at 5am; M is calling me. I go in there, she says she doesn't feel good, would I read to her? So I'm reading to her for about twenty minutes and then she starts throwing up. So I clean all that and her up, read to her some more, tuck her in, and go lie back down next to C, who is starting to stir. About half an hour later, the sound of retching jerks me out of sleep. (I swear, they should make alarm clocks that sound like your cat or child throwing up - you wake up with this surge of adrenaline, it's unreal.) So I run in there, take care of her again, clean everything up, more clean sheets, etc. Tuck her back in. This time I go lie down in the recliner, so if she starts throwing up again I won't wake up C jumping out of bed. Sure enough, around 6 something? (I've lost track at this point) poor thing starts again. I'm in there, cleaning her up, getting her hair out of her face, etc. - J wakes up, as it's about time for me to start getting M ready for school - I ask if he can get M a blanket, because C is starting to wake up, so I run in there to get him re-settled, and then I think we all go back to sleep - it's kind of fuzzy at this point. Anyway, I vaguely remember him telling me goodbye, he was going to work.

So later, after C wakes me up, I fix him & M breakfast (she says she's hungry, that's a good sign) and we're cuddling up watching a movie. My day starts to go downhill from there - here's the conversation I had with my husband.



10:49 my day has gone from bad to worse
10:49 during a fight my laptop got yanked off the table
10:49 M had a poopy diaper, and for some reason wouldn't let me look at it, I had to basically pick her up to check it
10:49 so went and put her in the bathtub
10:49 then C wanted to get in the bathtub
10:49 and said he was poopy
10:50 so he walked up to me, both of us taking his diaper off at the same time
10:50 turned out he was poopING (so he could get in the bathtub) - had to clean his poop off the bathroom floor - but no biggie, it's solid!
10:51 finished rinsing butts, got M out & dried her, was in the process of prying C out of the tub because he didn't want to come when M comes running back in and says "I pooped!"
10:51 I look down the hallway and there's this big puddle of diarrhea
10:51 so I tell her to get back in the bathtub, turn the water back on, hand them the spray handle, and close the curtain
10:52 I can't get it all out of the carpet without a carpet cleaner
10:52 my hands now smell like orange peels, vomit, and shit, so I'm not sure how I'm going to eat my grits (which I'm sure are cold by now)

10:59 I just had to go back there and check on the screaming - M had pooped in the shower, and C had closed the bathtub drain
10:59 so I empty out all the poopy water, tell M if she thinks she has to go again to try to make it to the potty
11:00 as I say "do you understand?" she poops again.
11:00 so I wash C off, take him out, and dry him off and get him dressed. M is in the shower by herself now.



This is why when I fill out forms that ask for my employment I don't put "unemployed" - I put "Stay-at-home-mother" - because this is a job, dammit, and if I were doing this for money you'd have to pay me an awful lot.

I'm going to go try to make more progress towards moving out of this house. As J put it, the kids are still alive, so it's okay. Nothing else is really all that important.

I'm making up retorts in my head

After all this stress, all this... and they don't show. No phone call, nothing. I'm already composing things to say when I do hear from the realtor. My initial reaction when I answer the phone? "Oh my god, are you okay? Are you in the hospital? Because I was expecting you at my house XXX HOURS AGO."

Grumpy does not even begin to describe me. I could have spent all this time much more productively sorting and packing, dammit. And not so stressed out that I was stressing out my husband and children, and having mini nervous breakdowns.

Ah, well. Time done and gone. I've discovered a new movie that I'd never seen before that I really enjoy. I have no idea where it came from, but Sinbad was in our group of kids' movies that I finally put in the other day. Wheeeee! Goofy, unrestrained, comedic-romantic adventure. Just my kind of thing, especially when stressed.

Stolen from Dan (a great writer)

What Kind of Reader Are You? Your Result: Dedicated Reader   You are always trying to find the time to get back to your book. You are convinced that the world would be a much better place if only everyone read more.
Literate Good Citizen
Book Snob
Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm
Fad Reader
Non-Reader

Yay for Depo!

Soon, no more periods! That'll be nice. The lack of hormonal cycling should make life a little more even for me; we'll see how it goes.

On a totally different note, I got the letter from FSU the other day. The whole "thanks for submitting your application, it's denied" letter. *sigh* Okay, I know nothing is simple, especially nothing worth getting, but goddammit I was hoping THIS at least would be simple right now! ARGH! So going back to school and finishing my 4 year degree will take a little longer to get restarted. Oh, well. When I'm done moving and trying to sell my house before it's foreclosed I'll get back on that.

Back to packing! Two weeks left! Oh, and we have to show the house this Sunday to the people who are taking it. So I wonder, if they change their minds, do we still have to be out by the 15th? I mean, why else would they want to look at it again? They've seen it before, they've seen pictures - they just want to do a walk-through. I got smart-ass with the realtor when she said they wanted to see it again; I said "tell them it looks exactly the same except the carpet is dirty."

What am I doing blabbing in here? Gotta run! Hey, if any of you would like to watch the kids for a little while in the next two weeks, any sort of babysitting would be wonderful. I love them to death, but they're killing me.

Webcomic addiction strikes again

Irregular Webcomic is one of my favorites, because of days like this one.

Where are you?

Just for fun, thought I'd go ahead and put one of these in.

Okay, I'm done with this.

I have a doctor's appt. tomorrow morning. I'm going to discuss with him the pros and cons of ceasing to menstruate, because this is sucking. J & I think we've discovered what the spike of insanity is that happens right around now in my cycle - I'm ovulating. (And my body would like to make it known that we can thank the right ovary this month. Ouch.) That spike of estrogen sends me off the deep end every time. I seem to suffer from excess estrogen (according to the list of symptoms here, anyway) - I'd love to actually have some testing over time to see what my hormone levels actually are.

Gotta get to work. No kids at the moment, yay!

Wheeeeee!

Went and saw Casino Royale tonight. Loved it. (Funnily enough, my friend Patrick evidently went to see the same flick tonight with some buddies - I have no idea if he was in the same theatre or not. heh.) This is my favorite Bond movie, and I've seen them all. I wonder if they'll do more like this? Actually going by the books, that is...

As I start to come home, I start getting a bit sad, thinking that I'm coming home to two screaming kids, and a messy house that we're packing up, etc... having just spent two hours looking at glamour (and violence, yes, but violence in very trendy, expensive places), it's a bit of a mental readjustment for me to come back to reality. And then it hits me - I'm going home to my Vesper Lynd. I married my best friend, and he's there for me when I come home - what more do I want? Bond would give a body part for that.

Not sure what to do with this... have I mentioned this already?

Every time Moira goes potty, and I ask her if she wiped (because she forgets) I get this LOOK, and she says "Don't talk to me."


Is it friday yet? Altho that's a double edged sword - fridays sort of mean I get J home more, but it also means it is that much closer to when we've got to be moved out.

I'm going to finish my champagne. Night, all.

Is it just me, or does Big Bird sound different?

I had read this comic at Somethingpositive.net (not your mother's comic strip) and now I'm wondering, as I sit here at my parents' house and my son watches "Journey to Ernie"... I'm going to go see if Carroll Spinney is still okay. I'm sure if he died there would be a big deal made about it (at least as big as OJ) - come on, this is BIG BIRD!

AHA, mine ears did not deceive me! From Wikipedia: "In recent years Spinney has had to minimize his time performing Big Bird, due to his age. The literally heavy responsibility of performing Big Bird has gone to Matt Vogel, who performs the character in the regular "Journey to Ernie" segment, and to a very limited extent, Rick Lyon."

The world turns, and our time upon this stage is so brief in the grand scheme of things.

Anyway, as soon as I'm done with breakfast, and looking to see if there are any studies at Shands for hormone imbalance type things, I'm going to get to work here at my parents' house. Wish me luck, I'm fighting years of packrat piling.

I must be crazy.

(and you all are going "well, DUH, is this news?")

Our landlord called. There are some people interested in the house that looked at it before we moved in. They need it by Dec 15th, however. So in exchange for us not having to pay the first two weeks in December and our entire security deposit back, we're going to be out by the 15th.

I think it's amazingly nice of her, seeing as how we're breaking our lease to begin with. She really likes us; I chatted with her for over half an hour yesterday. Anyway, so we have less than a month to get out now. I've decided that not everything will probably be sorted, and that's okay. The sorted boxes will be on the outside edges of the storage unit, and the unsorted ones in the middle - I can always sort through it a box at a time in my spare time.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA



Okay, what was I saying? I wonder what I have to do at FSU now to get the ball rolling... THAT is going to have to wait until the new year, I believe, as between moving and rearranging my parents' house, my plate is more than full for a while. That goes on the back burner. (My stove has about fifty burners right now.)

I really wish my daughter wasn't so fond of Cinderella. The Disney version has really started to get on my nerves lately. Just, bleah, you know?
And before I buy a watch online I'm going to go try some on in stores - the watch I'm wearing right now is evidently VERY small, and even a ladies' digital/analog watch (that rarity beyond measure) is going to be larger.

OH - my friend Khang sent me this link that just BLOWS my mind. I'm seriously, seriously considering trying to get my hands on some of this stuff. Part of me worries about what kind of mental chemistry mess I'd create - since I'm already a bit funky somehow now - but DAMN, could I use some... especially now!

Okay, okay, YES, I'm picky

My wristwatch is getting rusty (wtf?! I thought Timex had lifetime guarantees or something?) so I'm looking for a watch again. This time, I'm not compromising - I know exactly what I want, and what I need, and I'm willing to pay for it (especially if it won't start rusting or pitting after a year or two).

I just can't find it.

You know those men's watches that have everything? You know how hard it is to find a women's version of that? I'm fat, but I'm short and underneath the fat have relatively fine bones - I don't want a huge watch banging around on my wrist.

I need a watch that

keeps time (duh)
has alarms (4 daily alarms and 1 snooze seems common, I could really use that)
a countdown timer (the 24hr one - the ones that only go up to 60 minutes are useless)
preferably has hands (analog)
has a date (day and date a bonus)
is water resistant (I'm a mommy)
indiglo backlight thing useful
is metal (none of these goofy sports watches with rubber bands, I'm done with those.)

if it's got a nice leather band, I could stand that too.


I don't want time zones in 27 cities, a stopwatch, telememo pages, changeable face color plates, or any of that other stuff. Help! I'm going to peruse Froogle tonight while lying in bed, maybe it'll come up with something.

Well, whatever

Damn realtor woman who is going to show the house after Thanksgiving wouldn't really take no for an answer and is probably coming by tomorrow. I worked this weekend. House still looks like a battle zone. Between packing, sorting stuff that's been thrown in boxes through four previous moves (I refuse to move boxes of shit anymore, it's all getting gone through - unless I run out of time, of course. *sigh*) the house looks like hell. It looked like hell before, too. She wants to do a walk-through to see what needs to be done to "market" the house. The carpet will need washing, lady. You'll need to do some paint touch up. What the fuck do you want? So I'm stressing the hell out that the house is not clean. Having just tried to put C to bed, I have now gotten to the "fuck everything" mode and am sitting here in the recliner trying to get the world back into perspective while J works on bedtime for the kids. They both have picked up on my stress level lately (and I have to say, having this woman come by during the week & a half/two weeks that I'm a complete emotional wreck, right before Thanksgiving, while I'm packing up my house - I just want to smack her) and have been increasingly harder to put to bed.

Speaking of stress levels, while J & I were at Publix (Where Shopping Is A Pleasure But Working Sucks) getting stuff for mom & dad, what blast from the past should we run into but our old friend S. She said she found my blog - small world. I forgot to ask her how. She looks a lot happier than the last time we saw her - leaving E-net probably helped; that place would suck the life out of Shirley Temple. I hope the men in her life are treating her better, too. And her mother, that crazy bitch. Anyway, her kids are adorable (I never got to meet her daughter, and her son has grown up) and she lives on the north side, so we'll probably run into her grocery shopping all the time once we move up there. She looks at me like on some level she wouldn't mind if I drowned, and looks at J differently, but I honestly expected that. She always had a thing for J anyway, and I pissed her off. Who knows if we'll do anything but pass in the bakery.

J's mother once again couldn't watch the kids - this time she didn't have previous plans or anything; she thought she'd contracted scabies, and was going to be disinfecting the house and getting it ready for her parents, who are coming next week for Thanksgiving. I'm just going to stop asking her. I remember when her other two grandsons lived in town - even before they were planning on moving far away, she'd take them both for the day, or they'd go to her place for sleep-overs... but she doesn't ever have time for my kids. I don't know if she's just decided she needs to take time for herself or what, but when I'm particularly stressed out and could really use the help I get cranky about it. I never thought when J & I were going to have a child that she was going to spend the most time with MY mother.

I am going to go play a mindless online game and pretend the rest of the world doesn't exist for a little while. Hope the rest of you are having fun.

OOOOOOOF

I now understand why they call sheet rock, sheet ROCK.

DAMN that stuff is heavy.

Must...resist....urge...

my wonderful thoughtful caring husband has found yet another incredible resource for me.

I knew you could get podcasts from universities on their classes, there are lots that aren't password protected or anything. I had no idea how MANY. And I know this isn't all of them...

J said "try to keep it to THREE. The rest of them will still be there when you're done."

As I sit here, going absolutely apeshit (I clicked on one, and then went up a folder, and suddenly found myself looking at ALL OF UC BERKELEY'S PODCASTS) J looks up, amusedly concerned, and says "Should I have not given you this gift? And you did take your medicine?"

Okay. So I'm picking three. In order, so as not to get confused.

Geez, and don't even get me started on the "other things people that subscribed to this podcast also listened to" list....

Okay, bouncing off to work! :D

Things I'm doing when I should be packing

Microsoft Word suicide letter wizard? Hey, somebody out there still using Windows, try this out for me.
LED lightbulbs are on clearance!!! But wait... now there's LEC wallpaper????!!! OMG!
A Stonehenge pocketwatch? Cool, hadn't seen that before... maybe can afford it by our anniversary for ya, J
Once again, my husband has found and sent me some of the oddest, and yet incredibly beautiful, artwork. And suggested I try it out. (I guess my combination of anal-retentiveness and oddity would work well with this art form.)
Don't try this. If you get sucked into games like I do, don't try this at all, either. Damn thing can't keep up with my speed.
This is what I'm seriously considering going into politics or public administration to do something about.

AAAAAUUUUUUGGGGHHHH
I quit. I'm going to bed.

I'm tired

I say that a lot, don't I? Well, the sleep study is next week. We'll see if sleep apnea is increasing exhaustion, or if it's just depression.

Altho I know why I'm tired today - I was up until 2:30am doing this:













for Miss Wilma's birthday at school. I left before anybody had a chance to see it, I hope the darn thing didn't fall over before anybody got to eat it...

Dad got his hearing aid this morning, and mom and I are VERY excited - evidently dad said "I think I'll like this." WOOHOO! It'll be SO NICE to be able to have conversations with him again! He'll actually be able to hear what his grandkids say. :) He went into the kitchen because he kept hearing something that sounded like water running - finally figured out it was the refrigerator - he'd never heard it before. heeheeheehee

J is at work for a meeting, and if I don't hear from him in the next 45 minutes I'm under orders to come get him, as he was feeling awful and only went in because he had to. (Honestly, I'm not feeling great either. We're all on antibiotics, hoping not to come down too badly with the raging strep that J got.) I think I have a fever. I wonder if we could talk the kids into taking a nap when we get back from getting J....


Oh, and I can't believe I didn't mention this:

BOOYAH! A giant thank you to everybody who went out and voted. As soon as everybody in the family is well, we're going to throw a party or have drinks or something.

And an idea percolating around in my brain - Bush just said last week that he wasn't replacing either Cheney or Rummy, and now Rummy's gone.... what are the odds that Cheney will go too?

Hey, a girl can dream, right?

WOW I'm tired.

Probably because of J's snoring. He has raging strep (bad enough that when the doc looked at it yesterday, he said "WOW!" and stepped back - said it was the worst case he'd seen, and he'd been seeing quite a few recently.) and I'm desperately trying to keep the kids (and myself) from getting it. His throat is so swollen that he keeps gagging on his uvula. (Ew.) And I'm trying to pack up my house. And clean it, because the landlord is going to start showing it. And cleaning and rearranging my parents' house, so we have someplace to move in to.

Maybe that's why I'm tired.

But I'm still going to go vote! Get yourselves out there, people!

I just had a thought

and as I think it, the hysterical laughter bubbles up inside of me...

Am browsing the news. Can't get away from the latest example of hypocrisy, Ted Haggard, and his gay-prostitute masseuse and meth distributor. Came across this blurb:

"What people may not know is that Ted Haggard is George Bush's spiritual advisor. We do know that Haggard has weekly conference calls with that great exploiter of homophobia, Karl Rove. But Colorado Springs locals say he flies to Washington several Mondays a month to pray with the president."

What if Bush is gay?

Patience in the face of history

After having an impassioned conversation with my dad the other day, I remembered the advice that my husband gave me once when I was weeping and incoherent with rage and frustration over the problems in the world. He said that change happens in very small steps. He told me to be glad that at least now we're talking about the horrible things happening; a hundred years ago most of them would have been simply accepted, if not encouraged.

I have a hard time thinking that long term. As I read headlines now, I find myself wondering what history will say about this time. Will my opinions be vindicated? Will my friend's opinions (he who supports Bush & Cheney *shudder*)? And when all is said and done, will the world have taken another incremental step forward? Will humanity be any better off?

It's things like this that keep me awake at night. Sad, huh? I mean, in addition to the normal things - bills, kids, elderly parents...

I'm now watching Christian who has found a plumbers' wrench and is "working on" pawpaw's chair. I really need to get this kid some take-apart/put-together toys. Or we're going to find our stuff dismantled.

So, things to do and places to be. BTW, Hi, Aunt Robin! I forgot to tell you that you looked really nice today.

God help me

Justin tells me that last night Moira was lying there in bed and said to him "I'm fat." Justin was understandably shocked, and said no, no, you're not fat at all.

She's NOT EVEN FOUR. What the hell????

So I'm now going to be extra special triple careful not to say anything about myself being fat, and I'm going to tell Mom to lay off the "fat old lady" comments.

On the bright side, she just woke up to go potty. Yay! Last battle of potty training, there.

Have you seen this? I laughed so hard - come on, let's head downtown with a clipboard and a hundred dollar bill! People should be doing this all over the country, this is a trip.

And the beat goes on

Chatted with an old lover of mine today... he and his wife are trying poly, and he wanted my advice. I wished them all the best, and gave him some hard-learned lessons that hopefully they won't have to repeat. I still don't hold out much hope for it being a long-term success, though.

Forgot I was supposed to come to my parents' house today - yesterday mom stayed home and day before that I had volunteered long ago to paint faces at my daughters' school so I'd not been here since Monday - so I get this verbal bitch slap voice mail from my mother that pretty much derailed me. I'm recovering, slowly. It's making me question my sanity in deciding to live here. However, dad does need some help (case in point, he didn't quite make it to the bathroom just a little while ago) and we certainly need a chance to recoup some financial losses... there are honestly about as many reasons for as against. *sigh*


And I just remembered I have a conference with M's teacher this afternoon, so I'd better fly. Damn nonexistent personal secretary.

Remember when I said that I'd kept saying "It's not a bad day....

..... because nobody's died"? Well, I was wrong. I just didn't find out about it until today.

My friend Sarah's (who was Maid of Honor at my 1st wedding, and my best friend throughout most of high school) father (well, step-) died on her birthday last tuesday. Ken was a professor at FSU, he was smart as hell, smart-aleck, funny, patient with us... Sarah said he'd gone downhill a lot in the last year, and was just sick of it, so three weeks ago he stopped eating and drinking.

I have a hard time imagining what it's like to watch that. I get teary-eyed just thinking about it.

So, that puts my kvetching into perspective.

I'm going to go start packing and cleaning and whatnot. (Yes, we're moving again. No, I don't want to hear it.)

Nobody died, so today was okay.

I just need to change my metrics and my days will markedly improve.

My sister-in-law has very graciously agreed to watch my little monster during my psych appt. in the morning. (As hubby is going to be at work all night until some obscene time this morning due to a catastrophic crash.)

My other sister-in-law (and her husband and two kids) will be back in town with a spiffy new job in January for him, which is way cool. All the cousins can finally play together again.

My father was not sent to the ER again. He's on IV fluids and hopefully will take this as a lesson: yes, the thick liquids are nasty. You still have to drink, or you get this dehydrated again and you'll be in trouble.

Filled out my application for readmission to FSU - depending on financial aid, I'm going back to school to finish my bachelor's degree.

Our financial situation has not gotten any worse.

My aunt is in the doughnut-hole period of medicare prescription coverage and hasn't had her antidepressants in two weeks or so - can't afford them. However, I think I might have somebody to call tomorrow that could get her some help.

My children are healthy and intelligent.

The Greek Food Festival is this weekend!!!

So how have you been?

There's my exercise for the day

We walked down to Jr. Museum & met Aunt Logan & her boys. The neighborhood kids were playing next door, and I yelled "hey, we're going to the Junior Museum, y'all wanna come?" They were thrilled. So I finally got to use my passes! Four of them and four of us and Logan's 2 - we were a crew. It wasn't as cool as I'd hoped outside, but it wasn't bad either. I wore the wrong shoes, however, that I've not worn for months, so my feet are killing me. Pulled the kids around the park in the wagon that Logan has let us have for an extended period of time - it was hysterical, evidently the animals get fed by people pulling around red wagons, because the turkeys chased us all around the deer walk - some of them even got airborne! - and the otters followed us the whole way across, standing up on their back legs and looking through the low peep windows.

I've decided that if we're this broke the heck with it, I'll apply for financial aid and see if I can go back to school. J & I can repeat family history and go live in Alumni Village!

Hey, by the way - 3 bedroom 2 bath in Killearn Acres - make offer. Spread the news.

As I sit in the hospital

CNN is on the television. Bleah.

Dad seems to be doing amazingly well, considering he's had a stroke. His right side is weak, but still functional. There doesn't seem to be any cognitive loss - he's a bit more emotional, but hell, who wouldn't be? The trouble swallowing is probably the worst result - at the moment he can't drink anything but nectar-thick liquids (and I can't imagine what nectar-thick coffee is like, ew) and is eating a pureed diet.

So, looking at him, you'd never know he's had a stroke. Dad is made of iron. I hope I've inherited that toughness...

Frustration levels rising

If I get stressed out enough, is it possible that I might explode?

Update if anybody cares

Consultation with another doctor has sent dad back to the hospital. He's been waiting in central registration for a few hours now, and mom says they've been told there's a bed available in 5 minutes. This doctor thinks dad has had a stroke. His continued weakness, especially on right side, tends to back that up. The clear CT scan from the ER puzzles me, however. Oh well, I'm not a doctor.

My eye is better, thanks. It's not swollen shut today, which is nice - it's really hard to drive around when your good eye isn't available. Everything's blurry and not as far away as you think it is.

Today, like the last week or so, has been a day of either doing TWENTY THINGS AT ONCE or falling into a chair and passing out - and before falling asleep thinking "aren't I supposed to be doing something? Wasn't I in the middle of something?..."

Hopefully tonight I will get some decent sleep.

Gotta go pack stuff up for mom at the hospital - now where did I put that list down?....

if any of you out there pray

Please keep my dad in your thoughts. He's been sent to the hospital with the possible symptoms of a stroke.


***UPDATE***
It's a little after midnight and I've just gotten home from the hospital. The doctor thinks dad had a TIA (Transient Ischemic Attack), as the tests have come back clean. This means dad is much more likely to have a real stroke in the next year, which is unpleasant, but there shouldn't be any long term bad effects from this episode, which is good.

In a truth-is-stranger-than-fiction moment, as we happened to be taken into the back of the ER to wait in a bed next to the wall, I see my brother-in-law the cop. :) It was wonderful timing, as I started to break down at that point watching my father FALL APART. I have NEVER seen my father cry like that. Mom was telling the doctor that in 33 years of marriage she'd never seen him like this. Mike gave me a much needed hug, and talking to him helped me get myself back under control. I think having a man in uniform asking the nurse if they were aware that we were concerned dad was HAVING A STROKE got us faster attention than might have otherwise appeared. (Since at that point dad had been waiting in the ER waiting room for 3 hours.) And although I'm not a religious person, I got teary eyed when right before he left he asked dad if he could pray with him. Dad being an old-school baptist, I'm sure it meant a lot to him too.

And totally unrelated to anything, I have conjunctivitis. *sigh*

In discussing porn

J & I were lying here discussing what we do & don't find sexy, and I realized part way into the conversation that we were talking exclusively about pictures of girls. So out of curiousity, I'm flipping through "sexiest men alive" webpages to see if there are pictures of guys that would do it for me - most male porn stars are hired for the length of their schlongs, which does nothing for me (if I wanted to see a foot long penis, I'd go to a barnyard, thanks) and they look, well, like dogs. I'm wondering how many of the famous men have naked shots the way most famous women seem to now...

So I'm making a list of who I find attractive, and I'll go from there.
Antonio Banderas. (NICE ASS)
Johnny Depp
Alan Rickman
Vince Vaughn isn't bad
Daniel Craig has possibilities
Dougray Scott, but I've not seen him in much
Val Kilmer, although I think he's a little hit or miss
Clive Owen (definitely; I thought he was sexy looong ago)
Brad Pitt is hit or miss for me
George Clooney, but I'm not sure how much of that is mental
oooo, Jake Gyllenhaal...
Heath Ledger isn't bad either
Orlando Bloom
Ethan Hawke (whatever happened to him?)
Russell Crowe very rarely does it for me
Benjamin Bratt
Duh, how could I forget Pierce Brosnan?
I used to find Bruce Willis adorable in Moonlighting, but it's been a while...
Jerry O'Connell
Tim Curry
John Travolta is more of an "awe, he's cute" occasionally
when Mel Gibson - or I - was a little younger, I think I liked him... hard to remember now
Matt Damon
Keanu Reeves has his moments, but I always worry that he's a moron, and stupidity turns me off
Occasionally Denzel Washington pops up on my radar
Matthew McConaughey has a few times that I've gone ooo, but isn't consistent
Christian Bale
Hugh Grant has something that makes me look twice, but after that, I'm not sure I want to keep looking...
Stuart Townsend as Dorian Grey was sexy, but I've not found him attractive otherwise...
Eric McCormack
Sting (how could I forget?)
Sean Bean
I like Hugh Jackman in his wolverine makeup, does that count?
maybe one out of a hundred Leonardo DiCaprio pictures look good to me
I think of Sean Connery it's the voice I find sexy
Elijah Wood (ooooo)
Ben Affleck comes & goes
Tobey Maguire
Mark Ruffalo isn't bad
Ewan McGregor
Viggo Mortensen (or did I just get wrapped up in Middle Earth? But no, he writes poetry!)
Joseph Fiennes
Harrison Ford
Ralph Fiennes
many years ago, maybe Tom Hanks? Nah.
John Cusack


My list is already much longer than I was anticipating. I'm going to bed.

What an absolutely lovely day...

J had the brilliant idea to go down to the ocean today. We originally went down to Mashes Sands. Saw horseshoe crabs mating, how cool! However, the water was pretty full of stuff and once I got down there I kinda wanted to actually get in... so we drove down and said "what the hey" and ended up on St. George Island. Absolutely perfect weather, gorgeous water, J saw the largest stingray ever... other than the new bathroom buildings, which SUCK, it was wonderful. We came out of the water hungry enough to eat entire horses, and drove over to Apalachicola... asked a local for a good seafood restaurant that wouldn't break the bank nor quibble over our appearance (rather sandy & bedraggled by that point) and he sent us to Papa Joe's.

I ate the BEST OYSTERS EVER tonight. EVER. I can't wait to go back. The cheese grits were to die for. The hushpuppies, wow! The shrimp & grouper were great too. So heads-up to any of you in the area - check them out. Decent prices and seafood fresh enough it practically slaps you.

On the drive home, the kids fell asleep in the backseat, J & I got to flip around the dial listening to music, and the full moon rose reddish orange, then yellow, then white, shining its path on the water as we drove by. All in all, a beautiful, very restful day. I didn't stress out about anything, it was great. Maybe we'll do this more often! :)

This is amazing

I'm watching Bill Moyers' On America right now, about the Abramoff scandal - it is doing a LOVELY job of explaining things, and holy cow what a bunch of crooks. Take a look.

My mental voice to myself sounds a lot like this guy writes

"And I think to myself, "holy shit. That's it. This is the conversation that led to the August 6 PDB being put in print. The C.I.A. was literally covering their ass and for damn good reason (not that it did them any good) as the president remarked so caustically to his briefer down on the ranch. They had a pretty damn good idea what was coming and therefore put it into print and sent a briefer down to the ranch. "

Thanks, I needed a laugh

1. After reading about how the EPA is closing down its libraries, people defending Mark Foley and the actions of his party, Tom Coburn's refusal to allow the Breast Cancer Environmental Research Act come to a vote because "we're spending enough money on breast cancer" (even though enough women die from breast cancer to account for the equivalent of 13 September 11th attacks a year), the House of Representatives has now made it more difficult to attempt lawsuits challenging unconstitutional government actions advancing religion, the teacher who I believe has been fired for showing her students nudity in a museum (!!OMG!) I came across this.

The phone calls I get...

My aunt left me a message today. She said she wanted to install some software she had just gotten, and in attempting to follow the instructions that say "please make sure all other programs are closed" she wanted to know if that meant windows, too, and if so, how did she close windows? It automatically opened every time she started the computer up.

*sigh*

Is there a resource for people this illiterate? I mean, where can I send her, besides me? Because it's been years that I've been getting questions like this one (how do I save attachments, where did my attachments from AOL save to, I did so and so last time but this time it's not working, how do I save a file, how do I save a picture, how do I cut and paste, I know you already explained this to me once but can you tell me one more time) and I've been running perilously close to the FUCK ALL OF YOU edge for the last year or so and it's getting worse daily. I wonder if computers for dummies comes in an audiobook...

And don't get me started on the questions that mom asks J, which are slightly less idiotic.

That's funny, I keep asking this question too

A quote:

from a radio address he (President Bush) made just a few weeks ago:

The security of the civilized world depends on victory in the war on terror, and that depends on victory in Iraq.

The security of the civilized world! I'd say that's pretty important, so the President must be giving our military every possible resource to accomplish its goal, right? Even if it involves calling for sacrifice, perhaps suspending tax breaks for the wealthiest 1% of America, or encouraging big business to pitch in to the war effort, or simply publicly asking Americans to join the military? Since I don't see any of that happening, I guess our troops have must everything they need. Wait . . . they don't? They don't??

The pressures that the conflict in Iraq is putting on the Army are apparent amid the towering pine trees of southeast Georgia, where the Third Infantry Division is preparing for the likelihood that it will go back to Iraq for a third tour. Col. Tom James, who commands the division’s Second Brigade, acknowledged that his unit's equipment levels had fallen so low that it now had no tanks or other armored vehicles to use in training and that his soldiers were rated as largely untrained in attack and defense.

So between not training them in the first place, and then not funding their health care, I'm amazed my ex-armed forces friend (or anybody else) still thinks this president isn't a retarded sycophant.

Happy October

We spent our evening at a birthday party at the home of a man who has his own fricking wikipedia entry.